I'm not a label...

When I moved to Omaha I had never heard so many labels in my life. Stud, stem, femme and the list goes on. I never thought of myself as anything except "Janelle" so these labels meant nothing and to be honest they're starting to get on my nerves. 

Initially I was called a "stud" which made me laugh my ass off because I'm not a male nor am I prized animal waiting to breed. I kept tellin this fool after I asked wtf a "stud" was that I was not a stud. Then this fool called me a "stem" which I liked even less. What the fuck is a "stem"?!! I am not a fuckin part of a damn plant... I am a woman!!! 

**Let me explain these stupid ass terms for you if you have no idea what "stud" and "stem" mean in the lesbian world. "Stud" is a male identified female that's supposed to be very dominant in the relationship. I think some of the fools I've met border on wanting to be a dude. "Stem" is a female who is more of a tomboy but has femme tendencies as well.**

Anyway, I tell women up front that I am dominant when I feel like being dominant but on a norm I am pretty chill and go with the flow. I do not like doin "girly" crap. I do not wear fingernail polish, make up, dresses or any other girly crap. I like my jeans, t-shirts and hoodies. I also like my sweaters, button downs, slacks and nice shoes. I do not in any way shape or form wanna be a dude. So tellin me I'm not a "stud" does not hurt my feelings in any way. And callin me a "stem" tryin to piss me off or tryin to make me feel like less of a lesbian *shrugs* Ummm not working. I still like women just not women like your ignorant ass!!! 

I know there are women out here who want a woman to act like and look like a dude... To each their own. There are plenty of women out here who can identify with the "stud" mentality that you are looking for. You just need to go out and find them. While you're out there remember when you get your "daddi", "papi", etc home at the end of the day you are still with a woman. I don't care how big the strap is it's not attached. No matter how hard her chest is or how much she bands her boobs... No matter if she tries to grow facial hair or never shaves a part of her body... No matter if she sags her pants or wears a suit... She is still a woman! She still has a shit ton of estrogen which will make her act like a "bitch" at least once a month. Just don't want you to be surprised by that... Lol

I think putting a label on a package without knowing what's on the inside seems counter productive to me. The sayin "Never judge a book by its cover" applies here. All I'm saying is once you open the book don't try to change the content to fit the cover. 

That is all...

TOUCHING ME!!!

I am not a touchy feely person. I do not like to hold hands because I hate when my hands get sweaty from holding hands. I hate walkin and hugging... I hate bumping into the other person because our steps are not synced. I'm not a PDA person and it's not because I'm worried about some idiot makin a comment, it's because I don't feel the need to hang all over my partner or slobber all over her to show some idiot we are together or to prove a point to the world. Every once in awhile I'll get the urge to kiss my partner on the cheek or some other smushy thing but it's not an all the time thing. If I'm at home I'll lay on her or vice versa. Maybe a little this or that but still I'm not a really big touchy feely person.

Now if I'm not about to do PDA with my partner do you honestly believe I'm ok with a stranger touching any part of my person EVER?!! The answer would be a big fat HELL NO!!! I cringe every time a stranger touches me and they tend to do it more often than not especially when I'm at work. If I know the person and I've seen them on a regular basis and they hug me I'm ok with it. But for a perfect stranger, especially a male stranger, to invade my bubble I'm in instant defense mode! 

I do hug my friends and people I see and may know thru work. I am smushy with my woman when we are not 1600 miles apart from one another. But I can not in any way shape or form find myself getting comfortable when a stranger is in my bubble. I don't understand individuals who don't respect or realize they are invading my bubble. I need people to back the hell up and read body language cuz I'm pretty sure my body doesn't read "please touch me". Back the hell up out of my damn bubble!!!

That is all...

I don't need to put my relationship on display...

I wrote this blog earlier in my blogging career called "I got this" and in the mean time I have been handling my business. I don't post my relationship all over FB but that doesn't mean that my relationship is goin south. It just means that I don't need everyone in my relationship. However, I have noticed that the more time goes by and nothing about our relationship is posted on FB  there are individuals who think that it's an invitation to test the waters. 

I'm a very private person and even when I was dating ignorant whores who were blasting me all over FB I never put them on blast even tho I could've gotten very ignorant... Trust me "very ignorant" is a mild explanation to what I could've done to them but I was grown about it and held tight to my angry typing skills. I didn't feel it necessary for the universe to know what was going on in my household but apparently their are people who feel they need to be on a reality show so they put their whole relationship on blast in public. 

So while you're putting your relationship on blast for all the world to see think about this... There may be individuals out there trying to get with your man/ woman. You just gave them directions on how to treat your woman or man. You just basically gave them the ammunition to the gun that's going to kill your relationship. How ignorant does that sound when you say it out loud? Hmm... I'll wait!!!

Since Kari and I have been together we have both been pretty low key about our relationship. We have our moments when we are all sickening but it's very far and few between but it still doesn't mean we aren't doing well. It doesn't give individuals free range to test the waters. It doesn't mean individuals should "check up" on our relationship because sweetheart "I got this"!!! I am fully capable of treating my woman well. I don't need a "relationship sitter". And maybe, just maybe, if you spent less time stalking our relationship you could have your own... Just a thought! 

So the next time you feel the need to "check up" on our relationship remember this... "I got this"!!! The relationship is going well and I don't need a "relationship sitter" and especially not the "sitting" you are trying to do. Take your stalking elsewhere it's really not wanted nor warranted! I've been patient thus far so please don't push any further. I've had enough...

That is seriously all...

Everybody at their own pace...

It amazes me that someone who has nothing is quick to tell someone else where they should be in life. Everybody accomplishes things in their own way and own time. What may be easy for you to achieve isn't necessarily easy for the next person and vice versa.

I'm sick of people saying "You're 25 years old you should have a good job, a car and a place of your own." Blah blah bullshit!!! Who says you have to conquer the world at 25? Hell there are 50-60yr olds that don't even know what they wanna do when they grow up so how do you expect every 25yr old to know what they wanna do with their life? There are older individuals that don't have a car or their own place... Hell some of these fools don't even have a job yet people expect 25yr olds to have all of that... Let's be realistic! 

Let these kids go at their own pace. They'll figure it out in their own time. All you're going to do is stress them out and make the situation worse. And I'm not talking about these entitled idiots that you have created! I'm talkin about the kids that are trying to figure it out... The ones that have a job and trying to go to school. Instead of belittling these kids how about encouraging them and helping them along?!! Get it together people cuz all you're doin is making a person who has potential into one who is discouraged and feels worthless. Think about that the next time you open your mouth to spew ignorance. 

That is all...

Naked upon the forest...

Ok so I'm in the hotel room flipping thru channels and I see a show about naked people in the forest. *blank stare* Ummm... I was speechless for about 2.5 seconds. Who in their damn right mind would get dropped off in the middle of a damn forest first and foremost but then to get dropped in the middle of the forest NAKED?!! Do these fools know there are bugs in the forest? I mean you have sensitive parts just hanging out and there are bugs!!! 

Now I don't know how much money these people are receiving but there isn't enough money on gods green earth to make me run naked upon the forest. I mean I could be up to my eyeballs in debt and I may think about it a couple times but then I'd remember I'd have to be NAKED IN THE FOREST with nothing but the FOREST... No bug spray no CLOTHES!!! How insane and desperate do you have to be to run around naked, with someone filming you who's fully clothed, upon the forest?!! They probably have bug spray on too which would really piss me off while I'm gettin eatin alive on my sensitive naked parts!

I just don't understand these reality shows they just get more ridiculous by the minute. I can't even imagine what's next on the reality show circuit. I guess I'll just keep with my old school cartoons cuz I can't even wrap my head around this ignorance!

That is all...

I'm brown enough...

Standing in the store looking to buy something for my iPad and I'm listening to this dude talk to a person who I assume is his supervisor. Now normally I don't eavesdrop but the conversation was so damn ridiculous I wanted to go slap the hell out of the dude myself. I heard more "Yes boss", "I'll handle that boss", "Is there anything else I can do for you boss." In my head I'm thinkin the next thing out of this dude's mouth was going to be "What time would you like me on my knees boss?" 

I don't understand the sucking up thing and if you are one of those supervisors that enjoy people sucking up to you please explain the appeal. It annoys the hell out of me when someone sucks up because if you're sucking up to me and doing every and anything I want you to, when are you going to have time to get your own work done? And how is the morale of your team because someone has to be picking up the slack? 

I'm not a person who sucks up... Lol imagine that! I expect my work ethic to speak for itself. I'll take on extra projects if I know I have the time and it's not going to interfere with my team but I will not go out of my way to cow tow when I know my job will suffer. How does that look to the powers that be that roll thru your area and your area looks like hell? They don't know that your nose is a little brown and sore from being shoved up nether regions because obviously it's not their nether region your nose is shoved. Don't get me wrong I'll use things to my advantage. I know that I'm a trifecta but even that will only take me so far (If you don't know why I'm a trifecta ask and I'll explain). That's why I believe I have to work my butt off so that they don't feel they have wasted their time and not give the next trifecta a shot. Even if the powers that be see how hard I work they still may not feel I'm worthy of moving any further but I still won't drop to my knees to get there, I'm brown enough! 

To those that make suckin up into an art, more power to you, if it works for you GREAT! However, I hope you have more to fall back on than gettin your knees dirty.

That is all...

Hearing yourself talk...

There are so many people that are quick to want to hear themselves talk. They are so ready to speak they don't actually listen to what is being said to them. I wonder how much they miss out on by running their mouth and not listening... Between people not even bothering to speak or when they do speak they aren't being heard. Makes me wonder how much time off of my life these idiots are taking.

I was in a store the other day and this person asked a question and before this individual had the chance to finish their sentence the other person started giving their advice. Now from what I could understand the person who was asked the question started saying the same thing as the person doing the interrupting. I wondered how often that happened with the person and how many individuals just say "I don't know" just to get the conversation over. I also wondered how worthless the other person feels when they know their ideas aren't even being heard or actually wanted.

I decided to observe this phenomenon in my own dealings with people. I figured I would do this quite a bit since I have the attention span of a gnat... Lol. I come to realize that I have more patience than I thought. I actually do wait for people to answer a question before I decide to speak. I also realized that it won't benefit me if I give all the answers to the test. People won't be able to grow and learn if I'm always telling them what they should do or how to do it on top of that I may learn how to do something better than the way I previously did it. Win win for everyone.

I really don't like to waste my breath and honestly I could care less about hearing my own voice because unless I'm just waking up or trying to do that seduction thing my voice is pretty squeaky... Lol just sayin. If someone comes to me with a problem I'll ask a few questions and maybe a couple of suggestions but for the most part I'll let them talk themselves into their answer. Sometimes people just need a sounding board not someone to talk them into circles.

So before you start spewing off at the mouth think about if what you are spewing is even relevant to the conversation. If you are asking a question clear your mind and actually listen to the answer before speaking. You may be surprised that the person answering actually has a brain. Also know when to speak and give advice and when to ask questions and allow the person to learn. You may be surprised what you may learn if you listen. While you are doin these things notice how morale raises when people feel you care enough to listen instead of enjoying the sound of your own voice.

That is all...