I'm not a label...

When I moved to Omaha I had never heard so many labels in my life. Stud, stem, femme and the list goes on. I never thought of myself as anything except "Janelle" so these labels meant nothing and to be honest they're starting to get on my nerves. 

Initially I was called a "stud" which made me laugh my ass off because I'm not a male nor am I prized animal waiting to breed. I kept tellin this fool after I asked wtf a "stud" was that I was not a stud. Then this fool called me a "stem" which I liked even less. What the fuck is a "stem"?!! I am not a fuckin part of a damn plant... I am a woman!!! 

**Let me explain these stupid ass terms for you if you have no idea what "stud" and "stem" mean in the lesbian world. "Stud" is a male identified female that's supposed to be very dominant in the relationship. I think some of the fools I've met border on wanting to be a dude. "Stem" is a female who is more of a tomboy but has femme tendencies as well.**

Anyway, I tell women up front that I am dominant when I feel like being dominant but on a norm I am pretty chill and go with the flow. I do not like doin "girly" crap. I do not wear fingernail polish, make up, dresses or any other girly crap. I like my jeans, t-shirts and hoodies. I also like my sweaters, button downs, slacks and nice shoes. I do not in any way shape or form wanna be a dude. So tellin me I'm not a "stud" does not hurt my feelings in any way. And callin me a "stem" tryin to piss me off or tryin to make me feel like less of a lesbian *shrugs* Ummm not working. I still like women just not women like your ignorant ass!!! 

I know there are women out here who want a woman to act like and look like a dude... To each their own. There are plenty of women out here who can identify with the "stud" mentality that you are looking for. You just need to go out and find them. While you're out there remember when you get your "daddi", "papi", etc home at the end of the day you are still with a woman. I don't care how big the strap is it's not attached. No matter how hard her chest is or how much she bands her boobs... No matter if she tries to grow facial hair or never shaves a part of her body... No matter if she sags her pants or wears a suit... She is still a woman! She still has a shit ton of estrogen which will make her act like a "bitch" at least once a month. Just don't want you to be surprised by that... Lol

I think putting a label on a package without knowing what's on the inside seems counter productive to me. The sayin "Never judge a book by its cover" applies here. All I'm saying is once you open the book don't try to change the content to fit the cover. 

That is all...

TOUCHING ME!!!

I am not a touchy feely person. I do not like to hold hands because I hate when my hands get sweaty from holding hands. I hate walkin and hugging... I hate bumping into the other person because our steps are not synced. I'm not a PDA person and it's not because I'm worried about some idiot makin a comment, it's because I don't feel the need to hang all over my partner or slobber all over her to show some idiot we are together or to prove a point to the world. Every once in awhile I'll get the urge to kiss my partner on the cheek or some other smushy thing but it's not an all the time thing. If I'm at home I'll lay on her or vice versa. Maybe a little this or that but still I'm not a really big touchy feely person.

Now if I'm not about to do PDA with my partner do you honestly believe I'm ok with a stranger touching any part of my person EVER?!! The answer would be a big fat HELL NO!!! I cringe every time a stranger touches me and they tend to do it more often than not especially when I'm at work. If I know the person and I've seen them on a regular basis and they hug me I'm ok with it. But for a perfect stranger, especially a male stranger, to invade my bubble I'm in instant defense mode! 

I do hug my friends and people I see and may know thru work. I am smushy with my woman when we are not 1600 miles apart from one another. But I can not in any way shape or form find myself getting comfortable when a stranger is in my bubble. I don't understand individuals who don't respect or realize they are invading my bubble. I need people to back the hell up and read body language cuz I'm pretty sure my body doesn't read "please touch me". Back the hell up out of my damn bubble!!!

That is all...

I don't need to put my relationship on display...

I wrote this blog earlier in my blogging career called "I got this" and in the mean time I have been handling my business. I don't post my relationship all over FB but that doesn't mean that my relationship is goin south. It just means that I don't need everyone in my relationship. However, I have noticed that the more time goes by and nothing about our relationship is posted on FB  there are individuals who think that it's an invitation to test the waters. 

I'm a very private person and even when I was dating ignorant whores who were blasting me all over FB I never put them on blast even tho I could've gotten very ignorant... Trust me "very ignorant" is a mild explanation to what I could've done to them but I was grown about it and held tight to my angry typing skills. I didn't feel it necessary for the universe to know what was going on in my household but apparently their are people who feel they need to be on a reality show so they put their whole relationship on blast in public. 

So while you're putting your relationship on blast for all the world to see think about this... There may be individuals out there trying to get with your man/ woman. You just gave them directions on how to treat your woman or man. You just basically gave them the ammunition to the gun that's going to kill your relationship. How ignorant does that sound when you say it out loud? Hmm... I'll wait!!!

Since Kari and I have been together we have both been pretty low key about our relationship. We have our moments when we are all sickening but it's very far and few between but it still doesn't mean we aren't doing well. It doesn't give individuals free range to test the waters. It doesn't mean individuals should "check up" on our relationship because sweetheart "I got this"!!! I am fully capable of treating my woman well. I don't need a "relationship sitter". And maybe, just maybe, if you spent less time stalking our relationship you could have your own... Just a thought! 

So the next time you feel the need to "check up" on our relationship remember this... "I got this"!!! The relationship is going well and I don't need a "relationship sitter" and especially not the "sitting" you are trying to do. Take your stalking elsewhere it's really not wanted nor warranted! I've been patient thus far so please don't push any further. I've had enough...

That is seriously all...

Everybody at their own pace...

It amazes me that someone who has nothing is quick to tell someone else where they should be in life. Everybody accomplishes things in their own way and own time. What may be easy for you to achieve isn't necessarily easy for the next person and vice versa.

I'm sick of people saying "You're 25 years old you should have a good job, a car and a place of your own." Blah blah bullshit!!! Who says you have to conquer the world at 25? Hell there are 50-60yr olds that don't even know what they wanna do when they grow up so how do you expect every 25yr old to know what they wanna do with their life? There are older individuals that don't have a car or their own place... Hell some of these fools don't even have a job yet people expect 25yr olds to have all of that... Let's be realistic! 

Let these kids go at their own pace. They'll figure it out in their own time. All you're going to do is stress them out and make the situation worse. And I'm not talking about these entitled idiots that you have created! I'm talkin about the kids that are trying to figure it out... The ones that have a job and trying to go to school. Instead of belittling these kids how about encouraging them and helping them along?!! Get it together people cuz all you're doin is making a person who has potential into one who is discouraged and feels worthless. Think about that the next time you open your mouth to spew ignorance. 

That is all...

Naked upon the forest...

Ok so I'm in the hotel room flipping thru channels and I see a show about naked people in the forest. *blank stare* Ummm... I was speechless for about 2.5 seconds. Who in their damn right mind would get dropped off in the middle of a damn forest first and foremost but then to get dropped in the middle of the forest NAKED?!! Do these fools know there are bugs in the forest? I mean you have sensitive parts just hanging out and there are bugs!!! 

Now I don't know how much money these people are receiving but there isn't enough money on gods green earth to make me run naked upon the forest. I mean I could be up to my eyeballs in debt and I may think about it a couple times but then I'd remember I'd have to be NAKED IN THE FOREST with nothing but the FOREST... No bug spray no CLOTHES!!! How insane and desperate do you have to be to run around naked, with someone filming you who's fully clothed, upon the forest?!! They probably have bug spray on too which would really piss me off while I'm gettin eatin alive on my sensitive naked parts!

I just don't understand these reality shows they just get more ridiculous by the minute. I can't even imagine what's next on the reality show circuit. I guess I'll just keep with my old school cartoons cuz I can't even wrap my head around this ignorance!

That is all...

I'm brown enough...

Standing in the store looking to buy something for my iPad and I'm listening to this dude talk to a person who I assume is his supervisor. Now normally I don't eavesdrop but the conversation was so damn ridiculous I wanted to go slap the hell out of the dude myself. I heard more "Yes boss", "I'll handle that boss", "Is there anything else I can do for you boss." In my head I'm thinkin the next thing out of this dude's mouth was going to be "What time would you like me on my knees boss?" 

I don't understand the sucking up thing and if you are one of those supervisors that enjoy people sucking up to you please explain the appeal. It annoys the hell out of me when someone sucks up because if you're sucking up to me and doing every and anything I want you to, when are you going to have time to get your own work done? And how is the morale of your team because someone has to be picking up the slack? 

I'm not a person who sucks up... Lol imagine that! I expect my work ethic to speak for itself. I'll take on extra projects if I know I have the time and it's not going to interfere with my team but I will not go out of my way to cow tow when I know my job will suffer. How does that look to the powers that be that roll thru your area and your area looks like hell? They don't know that your nose is a little brown and sore from being shoved up nether regions because obviously it's not their nether region your nose is shoved. Don't get me wrong I'll use things to my advantage. I know that I'm a trifecta but even that will only take me so far (If you don't know why I'm a trifecta ask and I'll explain). That's why I believe I have to work my butt off so that they don't feel they have wasted their time and not give the next trifecta a shot. Even if the powers that be see how hard I work they still may not feel I'm worthy of moving any further but I still won't drop to my knees to get there, I'm brown enough! 

To those that make suckin up into an art, more power to you, if it works for you GREAT! However, I hope you have more to fall back on than gettin your knees dirty.

That is all...

Hearing yourself talk...

There are so many people that are quick to want to hear themselves talk. They are so ready to speak they don't actually listen to what is being said to them. I wonder how much they miss out on by running their mouth and not listening... Between people not even bothering to speak or when they do speak they aren't being heard. Makes me wonder how much time off of my life these idiots are taking.

I was in a store the other day and this person asked a question and before this individual had the chance to finish their sentence the other person started giving their advice. Now from what I could understand the person who was asked the question started saying the same thing as the person doing the interrupting. I wondered how often that happened with the person and how many individuals just say "I don't know" just to get the conversation over. I also wondered how worthless the other person feels when they know their ideas aren't even being heard or actually wanted.

I decided to observe this phenomenon in my own dealings with people. I figured I would do this quite a bit since I have the attention span of a gnat... Lol. I come to realize that I have more patience than I thought. I actually do wait for people to answer a question before I decide to speak. I also realized that it won't benefit me if I give all the answers to the test. People won't be able to grow and learn if I'm always telling them what they should do or how to do it on top of that I may learn how to do something better than the way I previously did it. Win win for everyone.

I really don't like to waste my breath and honestly I could care less about hearing my own voice because unless I'm just waking up or trying to do that seduction thing my voice is pretty squeaky... Lol just sayin. If someone comes to me with a problem I'll ask a few questions and maybe a couple of suggestions but for the most part I'll let them talk themselves into their answer. Sometimes people just need a sounding board not someone to talk them into circles.

So before you start spewing off at the mouth think about if what you are spewing is even relevant to the conversation. If you are asking a question clear your mind and actually listen to the answer before speaking. You may be surprised that the person answering actually has a brain. Also know when to speak and give advice and when to ask questions and allow the person to learn. You may be surprised what you may learn if you listen. While you are doin these things notice how morale raises when people feel you care enough to listen instead of enjoying the sound of your own voice.

That is all... 

Lost chance

I look at all these fools talking about how they "lost" the love of their life because they thought the grass was greener on the other side. The person that they gave up wasn't really where they wanted them to be at the time they were dating so they decided to go after the "fast" money... That person who was rollin the nice car instead of the beater that their ex was drivin. And yes "drivin" because let's be real you can't really "roll" a beater... Lol. They never gave their ex a chance to get where they needed to be. I know it has taken me a minute to get where I am now and it will take me a few more minutes to get where I want to be in life. Be patient Pook! Lol...

They were making ends meet but they weren't going out to fancy places or doing things on a regular. They weren't getting your nails and hair done on a regular. They weren't taking you to places where they were spending $100 on a dinner. They were on their "grown folks" business... They were paying their bills and taking care of home. While you were on this "why can't we do this and that" bullshit. So instead of waiting for this person to get where they needed to be you decided that they weren't the person for you because they couldn't give you what you thought you deserved. 

My biggest questions would be what in the hell were you bringing to the relationship? Did you ever once ask if you could pay for something? Did you ever once try to contribute? Did you ever look at the bigger picture instead of the rose colored picture some other fool was painting for you? How do you say you love someone and then drop them because they aren't where you think they should be? Especially if you know they have ambitions and goals in life. Do you think you're too good to wait, be patient or live modestly until things start to fall into place? 

So you get with the fool that has the easy money and things don't work out... Go figure idiot! But the person that you "lost"... By the way you didn't "lose" this person! It's not like y'all went to the store one day and someone snatched them out from under you... Your ignorant ass DUMPED them for another ignorant ass person! Anyway, a year or so goes by and the person you "lost" has a good job, "rollin" a nice car and is dating a girl who appreciates what she has to offer and now your sorry ass is posting on FB how you "lost" a good thing... Did I mention the ex was never "lost"? But your ignorant ass obviously was when you decided she wasn't for you because she was on her "grown" business.

I'm actually glad you "lost" that individual because you obviously haven't grown up yet and you were just going to hold that person back. You obviously haven't figured out that life is about compromise and sacrifice (do you like that preacher man? Lol)! Now that this person has got their shit together you want to be back in the picture? You aren't ready for love or a relationship if all you are seeing is what she has versus what she can offer. So stop your friggin whining, accept the consequences of your choices and grown the hell up!!!

That is all...

Open your mouth...

This could go so wrong with that title... Lol! But it won't...

I'm so tired of individuals talking about "He/she does not understand my needs." How about open your damn mouth and let them know what you need? I hear people say "Well they should know me better than that by now." Umm... Did you ever tell them what you expected in the beginning of the relationship? I guarantee if some of you fools were up front and honest with the person you were dating you would've avoided over 1/2 of the fucked up relationships that you have been involved in... Unless you're like me, someone who gets 1/2 truths and takes it as a challenge, I'll be like "fuck it let's give this a test run!" It happens... Not anymore of course cuz I decided to grow up... Kinda! Lol

I heard this fool the other day talking about how unsatisfied she was in bed. I've heard this many times over the years and my question, being someone with a massive ego in that area, is "Have you talked about this with your partner? Have you told them what you like?" Hell for that matter do you even know what you like?!! How about this... If you know what you like OPEN YOUR MOUTH!!! LMAO yea I went there!!! I don't need a damn road map but I at least need a few place markers along the way and an address would be nice... Hell I'll ask Siri the rest! (Haha if you don't get it I'll explain later) 

My point is complaining about what your partner doesn't do for you doesn't fix the problem. If you aren't open and honest about your needs then how do you expect your partner to give you what you need? I don't know about anyone else but I don't have ESP. I can't and to be perfectly honest I don't want to read your mind, I have enough shit going on in my own head. 

So the next time you're ranting and raving about your partner not doin this or that think about the communication of said rant... Did you make your needs or wants clear and did you do it in such a way that they didn't tune you out because they thought you were bitching "again"? *shrug* just saying... I'll tune someone out in a quick second if I hear bitching.

That is all...

Cheating... Starting to understand the appeal

I don't believe in cheating in any way shape or form. However, I spent some time with this couple and now I do understand the attraction for cheating. I already know why women cheat. The 2 common reasons are they are not getting the attention they require at home or for revenge. Now I thought men cheat because they can have sex without emotion but after spending time with this couple I realized it can be more than that. 

We say "Wtf is he cheating for, his wife is gorgeous?" Well folks beauty doesn't make you a compassionate, caring, loving etc of a person. Hell beauty doesn't even make you a beautiful person. It just makes for a pretty package and doesn't substitute for inner beauty. With that being said I'll explain why I understand why some men cheat.

Men, and I'll have to throw in masculine identified women, need to be wanted or needed. They need to feel like they have a purpose in the relationship. They want to contribute so to speak so making decisions or having their ideas considered is a must. If their ideas are always being shot down or if they're getting treated like a child you may wanna keep a sharp eye out on your partner. They will eventually, just like women, go looking to get their needs met outside of the relationship.

It's not always about sex for them either... Sometimes they need to have their other needs met. They want someone who's goin to treat them with respect, listen, make them feel needed and wanted. Some woman will come along that will listen to their crazy stories or ideas, a woman that will treat them with the respect that they feel they need and deserve, a woman who's going to make them feel needed and wanted... They will find that woman who will make them feel like a "man"!

So ladies while you're out here screaming about independence and "I can do for myself... I don't need you" and making your partner feel less than a partner, remember there is a woman out there who will be more than willing to accept the things that your partner is wanting to do for you. Don't get me wrong it doesn't mean you need to be a helpless female just means ease the fuck up with that "I can do it all myself" attitude because when it's all said and done it's nice to have someone to do things with... Been done grew old doin things by your damn self because of your "I can do it myself" raggedy ass attitude.

Just an observation...

That is all...

Being grown

I woke up needing to use the bathroom like a race horse and something occurred to me... I always hear individuals talking about how "grown" they are and it occurred to me that I didn't really start acting like a "grown up" until maybe a few years ago. I knew for a long time that age doesn't make you "grown" but until this morning it never occurred to me what made an individual "grown". 

How does one proclaim they're grown when they're still playing high school games? Like fighting over someone who could give two fucks about them... Going out to the club when your baby doesn't even have food on the table or nice clothes on their back... Or when you decide your habits (ie. smokin, drinkin etc.) is more important than keepin your utilities on. Yes, I paid/pay my bills and I made sure all my domestic duties were handled but did that make me grown? Hell to the NO!!!

I'll explain... Being "grown" isn't about age or just takin care of home. Being "grown" is about handling every aspect of life from taking care of home to taking care of YOU! You are very important and making decisions in life that also take care of you is being "grown". When you realize that what someone thinks of you or what you have doesn't matter that's when the "grown up" starts to exist and the adolescent starts to fade. Doesn't mean you can't still have fun it just means that your priorities have changed.

I have come to realize that too often individuals are so busy in other peoples business that they aren't taking care of their own. That individuals are more wrapped up in what someone will think of them versus how they think of themselves. What does it matter what someone else has that you don't? Are you working towards getting your own? Or are you content with sitting around talking a good game but showing no effort? 

"Grown" individuals handle business not make excuses... "Grown" individuals are not worrying about what others have they go out and get their own... "Grown" individuals handle home first not the streets... 

So the next time you say "I'm grown" think about how stupid you sound because you aren't handling your business!!! And the next time someone tells you they're "grown" then turn around and asks you for something let them fools know "Hell NO you're grown remember!" See how "grown" they are then...

That is all...

Last day...

Well this is my last day in relaxation land with Kari. It has been an awesome 10 days and as much as I'm not ready to head back to reality I am prepared for it. I don't think I would've made it if this vacation hadn't happened. 

For those of you who are skipping your vacations or taking them but not relaxing you are missing out. From now on Kari and I will be taking vacations where we are able to relax and do absolutely nothing instead of trying to cram 2 weeks of housework into 7 days of vacation or trying to cram 10 different places into a 7 day period. That is definitely not a vacation. 

It was nice not having plans set into stone... Gave me an opportunity to just be... To exist. 

I have decided that I need one of these in my life...

         

That is all for now...

Take your business elsewhere

I truly don't understand what people are not getting about "freedom". Companies are "free" to make up rules as they go along and you are "free" to frequent a different establishment if you do not agree with those rules. Money talks people!!!

Let's start with the Chik Filet, or however the hell you spell it, business. So it came out, lol for lack of better words, that they are anti-gay. Gay people got all up in arms, lost their minds, voiced their opinions yet continued to frequent the restaurant. Now I don't know about you but I work my ass off for my money and I'll be damned if I give my money to an establishment that doesn't like "my kind". Why in the hell as a lesbian would I support a company (ie. give my money)  that is against my very being? Money talks people... 

There was also the Tommy Hilfiger situation where it came out that the company didn't want black folks wearing their clothes. First off I thought their clothes were ugly and over priced. The best way to get me to not wear your clothes is to have $100 damn jeans. Why in the hell would you spend $100 on a friggin pair of jeans, when a $20 pair of jeans will last as long if not longer?  So confused by that... But I digress. If this company out and out says they don't want your black ass in their clothes why in the hell would you continue to give them your money? Apparently your money isn't good enough for them. Oh wait... Its your money that's buying these fools their islands, jets and nice cars! And what do you get out of it all besides being told you aren't good enought to wear their clothes? Hmm... A pair of $100 jeans that the individuals who are selling them don't want "your kind" to wear. Money talks people...

What got me on this topic in the first damn place was the Hobby Lobby issue running across my FB page. Alright if you actually read the whole story you will understand that they weren't denying women the right to "all" birth control just the 4 out of 20 that were created to kill an embrio or possible embrio. Whatever you get my damn point! What's the difference between my insurance covering certain parts of a surgery and Hobby Lobby covering certain types of birth control? They are giving their female workers options but to say they're taking away women's rights blah blah bullshit is ridiculous. They're not taking away female rights they are excersing theirs. If you aren't comfortable with those options as an employee then guess what... You DO NOT have to work for that company. If you as a consumer do not agree with their options guess what... You DO NOT have to shop there. It's really that simple.

Money talks people... My money won't be talking to Hobby Lobby not because of this recent verdict but because they're too damn expensive! 

I know there are those that will disagree with me but since this is a "free" country you have the right to argue with me and or not frequent my blog. Will this change my mind? Most likely not but it will be an interesting conversation. I look forward to it...

That is all...

The bug...

I DO NOT do bugs and I definitely don't do bugs near or on me. I'm sitting outside in my chair the first day at the lake house... Kari and her father were discussing these damn "army worms" that are every damn where. I've never heard of an "army worm" so my ignorant ass says "I've never heard of an army worm. Are they like those fuzzy worms?" Why did this man get up go get a damn "army worm" and proceed to set this damn worm on my chair next to my friggin arm?!! I almost had a damn stroke so I politely asked him to remove the worm from my chair. I was being almost cool about the situation.

Now if you don't know how much I love my chair go back to the blog "my damn chair". Obviously there were 2 things wrong with that scene:

1~ I DO NOT I repeat DO NOT like bugs!!! And to put a gross little semi fuzzy thing that moves near me would've gotten most people punched. However, I didn't want to seem like a complete wuss and jump up like a maniac with my ass on fire so I sat there trying to keep it together.

2~ He put the bug on "my chair" *confusion* if I don't like bugs then my chair doesn't like bugs either. My chair was a little freaked out about the fuzzy little fucker being on it... Ok maybe that was me, still you're getting the point... NO FUCKIN BUGS!!!!

As of today's date I have managed to steer clear of any little gross slimy bugs but have been a smorgasbord for a shit load of blood thirsty beasts of burdens. I have to admit after some picture taking of said bug they are quite pretty... From a distance... A FAR FAR distance away from my chair and me!!!

         

     

I still DO NOT like bugs!!!

That is all...

June blog challenge

I very much enjoyed my "blogging every day in June" challenge even though I struggled for several days. My reign of blogging terror has ended. Kari wanted me to do some lesbian stuff for the month of July and I may make that happen every once in awhile. I was thinking maybe picture blogging. I'm still working on the idea besides I have several ideas that haven't developed yet so we will see in what direction my mood will point me.

I hope you all enjoyed the month of June. I shall continue to keep you entertained with my insanity, it just may not be every day. Then again I may... Who knows... Stay tuned

That is all...