My guy crush...

So let me explain where this is coming from... I have this guy friend named J.R. He is and always will be my buddy. J.R. and I have known each other for a long time and we have NEVER EVER EVER had sex with one another. We flirt mercilessly and there is a sexual undertone to our relationship, but there isn't any physical attraction what so ever on my part. He has never tried to sleep with me and has always been respectful of me. I will tell anyone if I were into men I would marry him in a heartbeat. We get along better than most of the relationships I have ever been in and the emotional connection that I have with him is intense. But again there isn't anything physical between us. The love I have for J.R. is far more than a friendship level. I can't even explain it rationally but it is what it is.

There are women in the community that consider themselves as "true Lesbians". These women feel that if you have an attraction to men then you are not a "true Lesbian". They would tell you that the relationship that I have with J.R. makes me less of a Lesbian because I have an intense feeling for a man. They would tell you that I must have bi tendencies and that I should just identify with being bisexual even though I have no intentions of being physical with that man. They would tell you that I must be confused and that I am not a "true Lesbian" because I am attracted to this man on an emotional level. They would tell you these things even though I've never had sex with a man in my life and have no desire to do so, not even with J.R., who I am attracted to on an emotional level.

I also think that J.R. is a sexy man. I'm equal opportunity as far as aesthetics are concerned. If a person is attractive, I don't care if it's a man or woman, I can appreciate the aesthetics of that person without it being a sexual thing. I do think there are some sexy men out there and I will tell a man he is sexy if I feel like it that day. Doesn't mean I want to sleep with him it just means I find him attractive or nice looking. I love when I tell a woman she is attractive and she freaks out because she thinks I'm hitting on her. Get over yourselves people!!! Someone can think you are attractive without wanting to take your ass to bed.

I'm not quite sure what a "true lesbian" is supposed to be and to be honest if I have to conform to the ridged ideals of what a "true Lesbian" is supposed to be I would rather stay an "untrue Lesbian". I'd rather be happy with who I am as a person than to conform to unrealistic expectations. I do find men attractive and I am emotionally attracted to J.R. but I don't think I am any less of a Lesbian than the next person. Trying to live up to this "God like" image that some have of what it is to be a "true Lesbian" is rather ridiculous and unrealistic. I am who I am and that's really all that matters.

That is all...

Sex is just sex sometimes...

I think what individuals fail to realize is "sex" does not equate to "love". The two can be confusing if you don't understand exactly how to distinguish between them. Yes you have sex with the one you love, but when you actually think about it do you love someone because of sex or do you love them because of the emotional connection that the two of you share? I love having sex but I may not necessarily love the person that I'm having sex with... Prime example "friends with benefits". That however is another blog.

I do believe too often we end up jumping into relationships because the sex comes before the emotional part of the relationship. We have a tendency to confuse the two. If you end up going out with someone a few times without getting to know them before you have sex and you catch feelings for that person, then I believe you are confusing good sex with love. What do you actually know about this person that you had sex with other than you are compatible in bed? Have you learned anything about them other than they give good oral, that they love to strap up, that they flipped you over and took you in every way possible? Is that truly love? I don't believe it is.

When Kari and I got together I told her I wanted to get to know her on a more personal level. That's why I thought an LDR was perfect for me. I could get to know her on a more personal level before anything physical happened. I told her that I could "fuck" anyone. I could go find someone to have sex with without the hassle of the "girlfriend" label and all the emotions that go with a relationship. I wanted to get to know the real "Kari" before all the confusion of the physical. I have primal needs just like the next person. There are days when I want her so bad, thought is not even an option. When we were in Minnesota for eleven days it was a chore to keep it together. I'm human and that human part wanted to be on a mission some days! Some days I wanted to pin her against the wall and just... Other days I felt like unicorn kisses and rainbows. LOL however, I stayed a saint... I do regret it from time to time but it'll be worth it in the end.

There are days when I don't want to hear someone say "make love to me"... I want to hear someone tell me "I just wanna get raw". (I'm trying to keep this semi-clean... LOL) There are times when I don't want the candles and rose petals everywhere messin up my sheets, well unless we are using the candle wax for other purposes ;-)! I wanna come in from a date and pin her against the wall and... Use your imagination people. So... Does that I mean I love the person I want to do that to or that I have done that to? Not all the time.

I have been told that when you are truly in love or when you have an emotional connection with someone the sex is better. I suppose for some that is true. For me it just depends on my mood. I think you can have intense sex with a total stranger if all you want to do is fulfill a primal need or urge. I think too often when you end up in a relationship some not all believe that you must "make love" every time you have sex. NOOOO people you DO NOT!!! I have been in several relationships where I put the cart before the horse, so to speak, and the sex before we hooked up was amazing. Then in the relationship it was all unicorn kisses and rainbows. WTF happened to you coming home and ripping my clothes off because you couldn't wait to get to the bedroom? WTF happened to having sex in every room of the house because well we could? WTF happened to spontaneous? What happened was we confused love with sex! We, well not "WE", decided that now that "WE" are in a relationship sex became "making love". UGHHH... NOT ALL THE TIME!!! Don't get me wrong I do enjoy the unicorn kisses and rainbow stuff. I enjoy being romantic and all that smushy stuff but not all the time every time.

I do love Kari and we have yet to have sex. I am blessed to have found someone who was willing to get to know me on an emotional level versus a physical. And yes we could've gotten physical before we got to know each other well. We had the opportunity but circumstances were such that it wasn't in the cards. Why you ask? Because Kari is an emotional being! LOL she didn't think I liked her initially. So if we would've hooked up then wouldn't it had been about sex and nothing about our emotional connection with one another? It wouldn't have had anything to do with love... I promise you that!

So the next time you have sex with that person you barely know ask yourself is it truly love or is it a primal need that you must fulfill. The next time you are with the one you are emotionally connected to and you are about to have sex ask yourself is it out of obligation or is it something that you enjoy. Ask yourself is this the time where we get "raw" and make the neighbors jealous or is this the night we feel like "making love". Actually maybe you need to stop thinking and just do what comes natural whether you are emotionally connected or if you are just hooking up with someone for the first time.

Sex can be just sex even with someone you love...

That is all...

Definition of "Lesbian"...

I'm so damn tired of hearing "You are not a true lesbian if..." I wish people would shut the hell up with that shit! It annoys me almost as much as someone saying some ignorant shit that they have no idea what they're talking about. OH WAIT!!! This would be one of those statements. SO guess what... It's ANNOYING me immensely!!!

Kari wrote a post on LLA the other night asking "Can you still be a Lesbian if you occasionally sleep with men?" Now this got all these "die hard" Lesbians up in arms. Talking about "People nowadays changing the meaning of the word Lesbian", "If you sleep with men you're bi sexual", and my absolute favorite "I'm assuming you don't know what the definition of a Lesbian is by asking this question...". So of course Kari and I looked up the definition of lesbian and homosexual. Gotta do our research... LOL!

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

For other uses, see Lesbian (disambiguation).

The word lesbian can refer to a woman's identity, to desire, or to romantic or sexual activity between women. (Sappho and Erinna in a Garden at Mytilene by Simeon Solomon)

A lesbian is a female homosexual; a female who experiences romantic love or sexual attraction to other females.^[1][2] The term lesbian is also used with regard to sexual identity or sexual behavior, regardless of sexual orientation, or as an adjective to characterize or associate nouns with female homosexuality or same-sex attraction.^[2][3]

Now I don't know about you but I don't see anywhere in that definition where it states that a Lesbian can not be attracted to men or even have a sexual relationship with a man. I don't see anywhere in that definition where it states that Lesbians can "ONLY" be attracted to other women and not men. We even searched "Urban Dictionary" and it stated the same thing as the definition above. So, I'm wondering if the woman who made the comment  "I'm assuming you don't know what the definition of a Lesbian is by asking this question..." ever looked up the meaning of the word Lesbian. I would render to guess that she has not! Or if she did she took the definition and interpreted the definition to fit her idea of what a Lesbian should be... You know like how people do with the bible... LOL!

If you actually step back and think about this definition even straight women have "Lesbian" relationships. It seems the word Lesbian is kind of broad. So women who have been in long term friendships could actually be considered Lesbian. I mean it's not purely based off of sex its also the "emotional connection" you have with another woman. Like my friends Tammy and Jennifer's relationship could in reality be considered a Lesbian relationship because of the "emotional connection" that they share with one another. They have been best friends for years. These two broads have a closer relationship than most women I know in an actual Lesbian relationship. They do everything except have sex and some days I question that part... LMAO just kidding ladies!!! But it states "regardless of sexual orientation" so technically their relationship could be considered Lesbian without the sex. Think about it...

SO...  I do believe the answer to Kari's question is a "yes", you can sleep with a man and still be a Lesbian. It's not all about the sex it's the emotional connection that you have with women that make you a lesbian as well as the sexual aspect. You don't have to sleep with a woman to be a Lesbian considering it says "regardless of sexual orientation". *SHRUGS*

Did you stop and think for a moment that maybe just maybe I just twisted the definition to fit my argument? Lets see... I really don't care what you think... Do YOUR own research and prove me wrong then I may actually give a shit what you think!!!

That is all...

ORAL SEX...

Oral sex has become one of the topics in the Lesbian community that really has me puzzled. It's one of those things where Lesbians have decided if you do not like to give oral sex then you are not a Lesbian. This confuses me and I'll tell you why...

It confuses me because there are a lot of women who do not like giving oral sex. For whatever reason they just are not feeling it. But these same women love women. They have no intentions of being with a man what so ever. Now in my mind regardless whether they like to give oral sex or not they still love women so doesn't that make them a Lesbian? I didn't realize there was a sexual prerequisite to being a lesbian. I thought to be a Lesbian meant that you loved women. I didn't realize in order to be a Lesbian you had to perform oral sex on your woman.

Here's where my confusion gets even greater... What about women who don't like having oral sex performed on them? Are they still Lesbians? I am one of those women who could do without oral sex. I really don't care for it for various reasons. One being... Not every Lesbian is good at performing oral. I don't like being slobbered on. (read "GOOD KISSING") So does that make Kari any less of a Lesbian because I don't like receiving oral sex? Hmm...

You also have "touch me not" Lesbians. These Lesbians do not want to be touched by their woman... Hence the title "touch me not"! These women prefer "pillow princesses". "Pillow princesses" are Lesbians who do not want to do any work. They want their woman to pleasure them and they do not want to be bothered with pleasing their woman. Sooo... Does that mean a "pillow princess" is not a Lesbian because she prefers to be serviced and is not feeling that servicing someone else thing? If a "pillow princess" is with a "touch me not" and their sexual relationship is perfect for them does that mean the "pillow princess" is not a Lesbian? I mean she's with a woman and they are happy with their arrangement but she doesn't give her girl oral does that mean she's not a Lesbian? I'm soooo confused!!!

Now let me give you my thoughts on this topic... I don't believe that women who don't like to give oral are any less of a Lesbian than the chick that thinks she needs to perform cunnilingus every time she has sex. If you haven't figured out there are other ways to give your woman pleasure, then you are destined for "Lesbian bed death". "Lesbian bed death" is when Lesbians no longer are sexually active on a regular basis or at all. Which in reality there are a lot of couples gay and straight who go through this phenomenon. 

If a Lesbian doesn't like performing oral on her woman it doesn't mean she is a "pillow princess". It just means she doesn't like doing it... PERIOD!!! She may be very good at other aspects of the sexual experience that you don't know about. She may do things to you that will make your toes curl and your mind explode but you'll never find out because all you heard was "I don't like giving oral." 

You know what the bigger topic is in all of this in my opinion? I'm going to tell you...
IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS WHAT SOMEONE DOES IN THEIR BEDROOM!!! 

Just because you don't agree with something that someone else does doesn't make it wrong. It just makes it DIFFERENT! Stop trying to push your ideals off on the next Lesbian because  you want to be right. Your opinion only counts in your life not in the next person's life. That's why all these fools who are newly "out" are so confused. They are hearing what they are supposed to do instead of being told to do what feels right to them. Stop judging and pushing your little narrow-minded opinions on someone else. What applies to you may not apply to the next individual...

That is all... Maybe...

GOOD KISSING...

I always wondered why individuals slobbered when they kiss. I wondered what they thought was sexy about sharing their spit. I mean I have my own spit I really don't need someone else's spit in my mouth. For me a lot hinges on the first kiss. In my head if you can't kiss then you can't do other things in bed. I know it sounds pretty ridiculous but I haven't been proved wrong yet. 

What I have noticed too is that most guys can't kiss. I've kissed a few guys in my time and I promise you only ONE could kiss properly. For those of you who went to school with me y'all wouldn't guess in a million years which guy it was... LOL! For the rest it either felt like I was having my head sucked off my shoulders or I felt like I was taking a shower. Either way UGHHHHH!!! I don't understand why my lips need to be a part of your body. And don't get me started about the shower. I'm pretty damn sure I took a damn shower before we went on the date. No need to lick my whole damn face like your tongue is a moist towelette. Oh and don't get me started with the ones that shoved their tongue down my damn throat like they were trying to taste what I had for dinner the night before. WTF... Making me fight for air and they took that as a sign to shove their damn tongue even further down my throat!!! NO... You damn fool get your tongue off my tonsils!!! 

Now I've kissed a few women in my time who could not kiss and let me tell you they were horrible in other aspects as well. When you're young though you will say "Fuck it!" to the world if you're drunk enough. Not being able to kiss is sooo... Can't even explain it rationally.

I realize that every one's idea of good kissing is subject. I kissed this chick once and almost spit after we were done but I didn't. She had so much spit in my mouth that I wanted to hurl to be honest! A buddy of mine kissed the same girl and was like "OMG she kisses awesome!" *Blank stare* In my head I wondered if it was the same girl... Then it made me wonder how my buddy kissed. Then I remembered how I wanted to spit on the girl's shoes and thought better of that wondering how my buddy kissed thing. I guess there are people out there who enjoy being slobbered on... UGHHH!!!

OK... My idea of a good kisser is first and foremost someone who doesn't slobber on me. Leave your spit in your own mouth or swallow it. I don't want it all over my face or in my mouth. I also like soft lips... Soft lips are a must! I keep lip stuff on me at all times. You will never kiss me and my lips feel like dried up worms! I also like a little bit of tongue. Operative word "LITTLE"!!! I don't need your tongue down my damn throat choking the life out of me. Everything in small doses people. A little nibbling on my lips is ok but for the love of all that is holy DO NOT bite my damn lip! I had a girl bite my lip so hard she drew blood then I wanted to punch her because I had a fat lip afterwards... WTF is that crap?!! You're not supposed to have battle scars after a kiss. Maybe after sex but NEVER after a good kiss.

I have no idea where I was going with this blog but I had to get it out...

That is all...

SLOW YOUR ROLL LADIES... SLOW YOUR ROLL

Why is it that women in the lesbian community meet a woman and in two days they are in a relationship and in about six months one of them is screaming about how she trusted this woman and she let her down? The question is rhetorical! LOL I already have an opinion and I'm about to share.

For those of you out here steady screaming about how you "needed" this woman and she let you down. Let me ask you... How long did you know this woman before you decided to be in a relationship with her? Did you actually go on dates, talk on the phone, hell even talk in person, longer than 2 days, before you decided to be in a relationship with this woman? Did you ever ask her what her goals were, if she had a job, what her future plans were... You know, the important questions you should ask a serious future woman? There are questions that will help you determine if this woman is worthy of your time and effort or if you need to cut your loses and walk away. I asked Kari so many questions she probably thought I was interrogating her and to be honest in a way I was. I needed to know if I was just wasting my time or if this woman could be in a future serious relationship.

There are also questions that they ask that should send red flags as well. Questions like "How much do you make?"... "Do you have a car?"... "Do you live on your own?" or "Do you have your own place?". These are questions that should NEVER EVER EVER be asked within the first few days of talking to one another. These questions mean they are looking for a hand out. The other red flags to look for are comments like... "I'm in between jobs but I've been looking"... "I'm in a bad situation where I'm living now"... "My car needs work". They will start dropping these little hints after they get the answers to the questions above. Don't take the bait. You will end up being the girl talking about "I trusted her and she did me wrong. I gave her everything". You're an idiot because the signs were there. I know you wanna know if I was an idiot. The answer is HELL YES... The sex was good!!! LMAO... I'm not perfect just awesome!!!

If you don't remember anything else about this blog remember this... There are 3 types of women that you will come across:
1: The woman that you should just sleep with... This woman is not a friend and she damn sure isn't relationship material but she is good for the ego. She will satisfy all those animalistic hungers that you have but she is in no way a girlfriend waiting to happen. DO NOT... I repeat DO NOT fall for this woman. You would just be falling in love with the sex game not the person.
2: The friend zone woman... You are in no way attracted to this woman but she is an awesome person. She will listen to your bullshit and give you the greatest advice. She will do and say all the things that you wish your future girlfriend would say. DO NOT... I repeat DO NOT fall for this woman because she is a friend. She is there to give support not be your future partner. Keep her in friend zone... You will need her the next time you decide to do something stupid.
3: The woman you can become serious with... This woman will go slow with you.This woman will ask all the right questions and understand you in ways even your best friend doesn't understand at times. She will be the woman that you will move heaven and earth for. This woman will take ALL of your heart and you won't even know how it happened. You will just wake up months later and realize you have no idea how you got there but you definitely don't want to leave that comfortable spot.

What it boils down to is SLOW YOUR ROLL... What's the rush? Figure out what's going to make you happy and then go and start asking questions to the women you feel you are interested in. If they get all defensive keep it moving... They aren't worth your time. If the woman is patient with you and she doesn't seem put off by your questions then keep dating her and see where it goes. This women will not be put off by you going slow. She probably will even appreciate your efforts to actually get to know her.

Before you decide to jump into another relationship think about what you want out of a relationship. Think about what you want out of your future and does the woman you are talking to fit into your future plans. Does she have the same goals and ambitions? Ask yourself if she's actually doing the things to make those ambitions a reality. Talk is cheap without action. If the woman says she wants to be in her own place, have nice things and travel yet she's sitting on the couch playing video games and has no intentions of doing anything else guess what your next course of action should be!!! If the woman is on her grown business then stick around and see what happens. I'm not saying she is the right one but at least you will be on the right track. Think about which zone she should be placed into and proceed accordingly.

It took me a long time to figure this out. I had a lot of women that should've been placed in that first zone but I decided to say "Fuck it" and put them in the wrong zone. I didn't come off a lot of money nor did I ever wonder what went wrong because I knew. Knowing is half the battle. Now I have someone who "Gets me" so bring on the future!!!

That is all...

My shoe obsession...

Ok... Kari and I have been having this discussion about my obsession with shoes and she just doesn't understand the logic behind it so I decided to help her understand. I know some of y'all can relate.

I have always worked in very physically demanding jobs and wearing nice clothes and shoes was way out of the question. I would go shopping and see nice clothes and shoes and just want to get them but what was the point when I would destroy them. Besides, it wouldn't be practical to wear nice clothes and shoes when I'm throwing mulch, dirt, toilets and that kind of freight.

I would watch these people walk into the stores dressed in their work clothes and I would be so appalled with the way that they dressed. Black belts with brown shoes drives me crazy. And havin on blue pants with a shirt that should actually go with black pants and black shoes... SMH!!! I think what drove me insane the most was when these guys would have on black shoes with white socks. Come on people... Why have on expensive ass clothes and not be able to coordinate the shoes with the outfits or the accessories with the outfits?!!

When I got promoted I realized I could start dressing like I wanted on certain days and my trip to Atlanta was like dressing up central for me. I already had the clothes and I'd be damn if I wore nice outfits with some raggedy ass shoes that didn't match my outfits. 

I love dress shoes! I will find a pair of shoes and then buy an outfit or shirt to match the shoes. I love color on shoes... Black and brown shoes have their place but every so often you have to have a little color. I searched high and low until I found a pair of blue wingtips because I have a few shirts that will match and besides they are sexy with jeans. I saw a pair of shoes in Atlanta that I had to have and made the girl hunt them down until she found my size. She was probably sick of me but guess what... Didn't give a rats I wanted my shoes! 

I have an unhealthy obsession with shoes and I have no idea why... I blame my mother!!! LMAO... The woman has about 200 pairs of shoes and if you think I'm joking next time I'm at home I'll have to take a pic just to prove my point. My brother is the same way. The dude is ridiculous and he will pay upwards of $150 on a pair of shoes and then sell them on ebay... LOL. I on the other hand will find what I like on sale but every so often I will drop over $100 if the shoes are sexy. And don't let me see a shirt that I really like... I will hunt to the ends of the earth until I find the RIGHT pair of shoes to match the shirt.

I will not lie... Even when I didn't have this job and I was throwing mulch my shoes matched what I wore. I'm obsessed with Nike Shox. I have a pair of Shox to match every hoody I own, well except my green hoody. I created a pair of Chuck Taylor's just because I didn't have a pair of shoes to match a pair of shorts I own...  I'M OBSSESSED!!!  

I have to do it... There's no rhyme or reason it just is...  I hope this helps you Pook! 

That is all...

                             

Porn...

I CAN NOT stand porn! I think that watching porn is the greatest waste of my time EVER! I just don't know the appeal. There's nothing sexy about it. It's just about pounding the female or male. The female on female porn is so damn unrealistic it makes me wonder if women actually have sex like that in real life.

I know it's supposed to be about the sex and nothing more but I like the intimacy of sex. I like the story behind how you get to the intimate part. "If these walls could talk 2" had one of the most intimate and sexy sex scenes I have seen in a long time. I want to see the actual foreplay and the kissing... That's what I think is sexy about a sex scene. Not some girl having to hock a loogie on her partner because she hasn't either gotten her turned on enough or she can't keep her turned on enough to keep her wet. I wish someone would hock a loogie on me... OH MY GOD!!! I would come so unhinged on her it would NOT be funny!

I always wondered what someone gets out of porn. What is it that gets someone going off of porn? I mean the noises aren't even realistic, the slapping of body parts together, the fact that half the time they can't even find the damn hole. I mean what is it? And then theres's the actual ejaculation...

I watched this girl on girl porn with one of my exes and half way through the show this chick "came" and I swore she pissed on the other girl!I was like "What the fuck just happened? Rewind that!" The girl actually just squirted but I was so disgusted by it I was done with porn after that. Now that I've seen it in person I think it's pretty HOT! But still...

OK back to ejaculation... Who in their right mind would let some guy pull out and then spew all over their face? I mean are you out of your ever loving mind with that crap? And then there's the getting it from behind scene and the guy spews all over her back... Is he going to wash her back when they are done? I can't reach my back like that without a brush. There's no way in hell that would ever happen. And don't get me started on the blow job scenes... UMMM NEVER!!! I would bite his shit off doin some nasty shit like that... Getting eye infections and shit cuz some idiot producer thinks it's hot for some dude to spew in her face.

Someone please explain why porn is a turn on... I just don't get it!

That is all...

Winter cuddle buddy time is upon us...

Well it's about that time of the year again when it gets cold and we are determined to find that "cuddle buddy" for the winter. Have you found yours? For those of you who live in warmer climates you may not understand the need for a "winter cuddle buddy".  So let me explain...

If you do not live in an area where the climate get's bitter cold, gloomy and simply put down right depressing you have no idea how important having a "winter cuddle buddy" can be. When the days get way too short and the weather outside makes you want to hibernate, having that person you can come home to and just put your cold body up against and feel their body heat... There's nothing quite like it.

When the weather is so crappy outside and going out to the club is just not about to happen but you don't want to be alone because it's just too damn depressing to be home by yourself, you will be wishing for that warm body. Someone you can just snuggle up with and watch a marathon of NCIS or SVU. You need that someone who can make the depressing long winter night not feel so long. You need that person who will just be there to make it easier to bare the fact that summer will not be coming around for several long agonizing brutal months.

It is interesting to watch the jockeying for "cuddle buddy's" around September and October. You don't want to get a "cuddle buddy" too soon because it's still warm enough to get that last summer fling in. However, you don't want to lose that one woman you have been keeping your eye on just for the "cuddle buddy" season. Getting a "cuddle buddy" is like the last call in the bar... You want to get the number of the girl you chatted with at the beginning of the night but you want to take home the girl you were basically screwing on the dance floor. Now you just have to figure out how to get your number to the girl you want to continue talking to without losing sight of the one you just want to sleep with. (I know I'm going to have to write a Blog about this because Kari will want to understand how you will make that happen... Curious minds want to know... LMAO!!!)

Now remember I called this the "winter cuddle buddy" because after the winter is getting ready to come to an end so will this "cuddle buddy" arrangement. DO NOT for one minute think this is a relationship. It is only to occupy the lonely winter nights, not a long term relationship. Don't get all in your feelings when your "cuddle buddy" says it's time to move onto the summer singledom... It's coming so be prepared! The only way you will survive the "winter cuddle buddy" status is if... NOPE theres's not going to be a survival tactic, you are a MEMORY!!! Just saying...

That is all...

Bisexual woman vs "Curious" woman

Kari is forever talkin to me about bisexuality. She says that she thought at one point she was bisexual and that's all great and fine but I wouldn't have dated her if she were bisexual. She asked me why I wouldn't have dated her and I told her there were several reasons why I wouldn't date a bisexual woman.

I'm sure my reasonings have been echoed throughout the Lesbian community. It is what it is... So here goes...
I figured I couldn't trust a bisexual woman because she would always end up leaving me for a guy. I am the type of person who can not be in a relationship without trust and if I can't trust you then there's not going to be a relationship.

The dating thing also was a problem for me... Like if I were just "dating" this woman and she's also dating a guy. In the back of my mind she has slept with him every time they are together and that actually goes for women I've dated who are Lesbians. The thought of the woman I am "dating" sleeping with someone else is repulsive, especially if it's a guy!!! Sorry guys!

I also didn't want to be someone's experiment unless I wanted to be an experiment. And my ex used me as an experiment, telling me after the fact "Well I tried it and it wasn't for me." *blank stare* "Bitch, you couldn't tell me that shit before we got together?!!" Just saying!

After talking to Kari and her buddies the other day it dawned on me that it's not bisexual women that are the problem. The problem isn't "true" bisexual women, the problem is "curious" women posing as bisexual women.

I call bisexuality "free love". I believe there are people out there who truly love a person for who they are, not for their gender. I believe these people can fall for a man or a woman equally. I believe that bisexual people see past the outer shell and see through to the person's heart whether male or female. Curious women pose as bisexual because they are either confused about their sexuality or they want to experiment on the other side of the fence. I do not believe bisexual people are confused I believe they just don't care about gender.

I realized that "curious" women kill it for bisexual women. If Kari was a bisexual woman who happened to fall for me I wouldn't have given her the time of day. That would've been a serious mistake on my part because she is an amazing person. However, the fact that I got so screwed over by a woman who  says "I tried it and it wasn't for me", I would've never found out that Kari was an amazing person if she were bisexual.

I'm all for women being curious. If you want to see what all the hype is about by all means experiment away. This is the only thing that I would ask and that is that you get with someone who wants to be used as a guinea pig. There are plenty of women who LOVE to turn straight girls out. They live their whole life to do nothing but be a guinea pig. Don't use someone who you know is attracted to you as a science experiment because they may miss out on their future because your selfish ass "Tried it and it wasn't for you."

I don't know how bisexual women can get past the stigma that has been placed upon them. All I can say is that if you are actually into a woman and she's fighting it with everything she is worth, then you need to just give her time. She has got to be able to see that you are serious about her and aren't just there to play with her heart. She's gotta see that you were in it for the long haul, not just using her as a guinea pig until you find the "dick" that will capture your attention.

That is all...

My opinion... My Blog

I think I need to clarify a couple few things about my blogging habits. First of all I am not here to give advice. What I blog about is every day situations that I find interesting and have an opinion about. I'm not a therapist by any means so I'm not tryin to figure anybody out. It took me long enough to figure myself out.

I do not give advice unless someone asks for my advice on a topic. Fair warning... If you ask my advice be prepared to get a real answer and not that sugar coated bullshit you get from your "Advice Hustling" friends. I don't have time to be stroking your ego because you wanna be right about something knowing you're wrong. If that's what you're looking for PLEASE find someone else to ask. 

I am not your therapist so don't expect me to cure what ails your mind. I will listen to you all day if that's what you want and I'll give my advice if solicited but I can not cure you. Hell what I tell you about yourself may not be what you want or need at the time so you just might wanna go find a real therapist. I don't want to be responsible for you goin off the deep end and killin someone.

I do not use my blog to bestow advice upon anyone. I blog because I enjoy doin it and it amuses me sometimes. I blog because I've seen or heard a comment or post that I found to be absolutely asinine so I'll blog my two cents. Or I've seen an article that made me think really hard about our society. If what I blog pisses people off, makes someone smile or makes just one person rethink some things or maybe look at things in a different light or even shed some light on my thinking then I have done my due justice to the world.

If for some reason you do not like what I blog then by all means please comment with an intelligent arguement. If you are just goin to be ignorant with your responses remember this... ITS MY BLOG and you do not have to read MY BLOG!!! 

That is all...

Lesbian police!

I am trying to figure out why the lesbian community is so hell bent on pigeon holing every lesbian. Who are you to say a fem can't date a fem or that it's gross for "studs" to be together. If we are having individuals from the community questioning the preference of another, how are we going to ever educate straight people? Who the hell are you anyway the "Lesbian police"? 

I'm pretty sure I am a better judge of my own preference of women than the next person. I really do know what I find attractive and if it's another "stud" then guess what... I will date a "stud"!!! I don't give a rats ass what you think, you don't have to date me and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be attracted to your judgmental ass anyway! 

If a fem dates another fem some of the community don't even take the relationship serious. Some can't understand what 2 feminine women do for one another. UMMM... Jackass it's 2 WOMEN! "Women" would be the operative word, which last time I checked that still made you a Lesbian.

And God forbid 2 studs are together... You'd swear up and down the world has started to rotate in the wrong direction on its axis! Are we serious with this kind of ignorant thinking?!! Why is it an abomination that 2 women, who both just happen to dress like a guy, are together? If they are comfortable in their own skin why are you sweating them? Maybe you need to do a self check and make sure you are comfortable in your own skin. And while you're at it possibly ask yourself why it makes a difference... They are still 2 WOMEN! Oh and by the way they're probably happier in their relationship than you are in yours because they are minding their own damn business! (Lol had to throw that in)

Our community is made up of very diverse women with very diverse tastes. Some of us love women of a different race. Some of us like fluffy women and some don't. Some of us want to take care of our women and some of us want an equal relationship. There are some who love to explore every avenue of sex and there are those of us who would be considered prudish. There are those of us who hate using a strap and those of us who will wear them around like they were born with it. Our tastes are so all over the board and yet we try to put stipulations and guidelines on what it means to be a Lesbian.

 Someone said the other day that if you don't like to do oral sex then you aren't a Lesbian... *Blank stare* Does that also mean a straight woman or even a straight man that doesn't like to give oral sex isn't straight? I mean how much sense does that really make in retrospect? So does that mean because I don't like to use a strap that I'm not a Lesbian even though I'm very good in other ways? When you say it out loud it sounds really ignorant if you ask me. Especially when many Lesbians don't even like oral sex... Does that make them any less of a Lesbian because they don't like oral sex or is it just the giver that's not a Lesbian? I'm very confused... Please explain this to me like I'm a 2yr old! (I'll be waiting on a response)

STOP JUDGING!!! If a person is happy with their choices and preferences in life, who are we to judge them for "their" choices? Who are we to say that only this type of woman or this type of thinking or this type of relationship makes you a Lesbian? I happen to find more feminine women attractive but it doesn't mean that I don't find bois, studs or stems attractive. I think that some have pretty eyes or a nice butt or whatever it is and if I were attracted to them physically what is the problem with that... She's still a woman. 

We need to start embracing one another as Lesbians and stop trying to play the "Lesbian Police". Just because someone's relationship does not fit into your stereotypical view of what a "Lesbian" relationship should look like doesn't make them any less of a Lesbian. Or their relationship any less valid. Sometimes the square peg and the round hole fit perfectly together...

That is all... 

Over staying your welcome...

There is visiting etiquette. Can you over stay your welcome? UMMM... YES!!! I'm going to help you people understand how this "visiting etiquette" works. 

If you are visiting a friend and staying in their house you need to abide by the "visiting etiquette". You need to leave in the timeframe that was discussed before you got to their house. Don't assume that because you are there that you can stay as long as you feel like it. No, you need to get the hell out as soon as your time is up. 

If there is no timeframe on the visit then there is still "visiting etiquette" on that too. If you are in a room that has a TV in it you do not monopolize the family TV all of the time. You do not fall to sleep in the family room because maybe just maybe the family will want to watch TV in that room. You also do not leave your crap in the family room like it's your house. Your crap should be stored in "your" room. Along with you... And while you're in "your" room make sure that it is clean. Don't go acting like it's your room when you were a teenager... Clean it up!

You do not dirty up dishes and leave them for others to clean up. As a matter of fact you should be doing the dishes and other housework considering you are not paying bills. If you are not contributing to the house then the least and I mean very least you can do is clean up after yourself.

You should not leave your clothes in the washer or dryer because again maybe just maybe someone else may need to do their laundry. Oh and that's another thing... If you are doing laundry at your hosts house then you should buy your own laundry products. Do not use up all of their laundry products and then wait for them to buy more. That's just triflin!

You should not expect your host to pay your way or pay for anything EVER!!! They did not take you to raise they are just giving you a place to stay. If they go out you should not expect them to invite you nor should you just assume that you are invited. Maybe just maybe they want to have a night to themselves and your ass should stay "home". They are not responsible for entertaining you! 

What it amounts to is that if you are invited to stay with someone don't take it as an invitation to become a roommate. You are a guest and as a guest you should act as such. Don't over stay your welcome and even if they say "Oh it's ok"... No it's not OK. Get the hell out of their house!!!

That is all...

Pray on it...

Ok here goes...

I was talking to my brother a few years ago and I'll never forget this question...

Lil brother: If you were in the presences of God right now what would you ask him?

Me: I have all kinds of shit to ask him. I hope he has a few hours.

Lil brother: He doesn't have time to talk to you! HE has more important things to do than to have a conversation with you...

Me: Then why do we pray? If he doesn't have time then what is the purpose of prayer? That would mean that he isn't hearing prayers right?

Lil brother: Good point... You're right.

I'm not a huge religious person. I do believe there is a higher being but I struggle with a lot especially when I look at the churches. I know it's not all churches and I know there are bad seeds in every bunch. However, all I see is the bad stuff. All I see is the hate and the judgement. I thought we weren't supposed to judge but to do our very best to be the best person we can be. None of us is perfect and I know I'm far from it but I try to do the best I can. I also know it's not the deeds that make you a good person but how you are as a person. We should not do good deeds in order to go to a better place but do them because it's the right thing to do. 

I know people ask for prayers and I understand. What I don't understand is when bad things happen the first thing I hear is "All we can do is pray on it". People are out here shooting and we know someone knows who is doing the shooting and all we can do is "Pray on it"? How about we do something about it. How about we stop pretending we don't know what's going on in the community. We know when Jamal is creeping on his woman, we know when Kay is out at the club, what she's wearing and what she drank, we even know when Mr and Mrs Jones last had sex but we don't know who shot up the car down the street. *BLANK STARE* STOP PRAYIN and turn that fool in!!!

I read a book called "A Child Called It", where a boy's mother had abused him for years while the father sat back and watched it happen. This child was tortured on a daily basis by his mother while she coddled her other two sons. Explain to me how as a parent you can stand by and watch your child being tortured and do absolutely nothin. I mean did the man think if he prayed hard enough it would stop? I'm sure his son prayed every night his father would do something or at least the abuse would stop. It took a teacher to finally step up and help that little boy.

"Praying on it..." only goes so far. At some point action is in order! At some point we have to say "Let's make a difference." I'm ok with prayer but while you're praying take action to help the situation. You can't be struggling financially and think that you can "pray" the bills away. You know a child is being abused, you can "pray on it" all you want but that isn't going to stop that child from being abused if there isn't any action to go along with that prayer. And hoping someone will finally help in a bad situation is a horrible strategy! I was told several times "Hope is not a strategy when action is needed". 

So while I think there is a time and a place for prayer there is also a time and a place for action. We have to know when to do which...

That is all...

"Advice Hustlers"...

There are very few people in my life that I'll ask advice from. They are people I know will give me real answers even when I don't want to hear the truth. They are people who have lived life and have figured themselves out so that their lives are better. I can trust that these people have my best interest at heart and won't steer me wrong. They are people I know have gone through what I am going through and will speak intelligently about the subject because they have learned from their mistakes. They do not give advice unless I ask because they know that I'm not going to listen until I am ready to learn from my mistakes.

I have adopted the attitude that IDGAF what people think lately. I have watched these "Advice Hustlers" give advice about topics they have no business even havin their nose in. They take it upon themselves to throw their 2 cents in when it wasn't even needed nor wanted. They see or hear about someone going through a situation and before the person can even work through their issue this fool is already giving advice. The person could just be having a bad day and the "Advice Hustlers" are all in the business. Damn... Can't I have a bad day?!!

I was chattin with one of my buddies about LDR's and this idiot pipes up and says "That's why I wouldn't be in a long distance relationship." *Blank stare* and the idiot continued with "She's probably cheating on you anyway." Of course I spoke without thinking  "Who the fuck asked you? I don't recall asking your opinion and why are you all over here in this convo? Mind your fuckin business!" I probably could've handled it better but I'm tired of ear hustling, advice giving, in every bodies business morons! And I wasn't even in an LDR at the time. We were just chattin about them.

The thing that grates my nerves the most about "Advice Hustlers" is it's always the person who has major issues in their own life, that wants to give the advice. Why in the world would I take advice from someone who doesn't have their shit together? Are you insane? If I'm already having a problem I don't need advice from someone who doesn't have their shit together.

Let's work on some examples:
Relationship advice is a common example...
If you have bounced from relationship to relationship and haven't figured out that the common denominator in your failed relationships is you and your bad choices; If you are in a relationship where you are taking care of a dead beat or you are the dead beat; If you are in a relationship and your partner is cheating and all you do is bitch about it but continue to stay... Then you are exempt from giving relationship advice! When you have gotten your shit together then you are allowed to speak on the subject again.

Finances is another common example:
If you can not keep your lights on, rent paid, car payment kept up because the new Jordan's came out; If your recreational habits are more important than clothing your child; If playing video gamers or hangin with your homies is more important than going to work... Then you are exempt from giving financial advice! Why would you even want to open your mouth? I mean what could you possibly contribute... OH WAIT... What NOT to do financially?!!

How to raise kids is my last one but not the least:
If your kids are running around cussing you and everyone else out; If your kids can't spell or barely read; If your kids are basically running your household... You should be the very last person giving any advice on how to raise a child! Actually why would you even fit your lips to begin to tell someone how to raise a child or what they are doin wrong? NEVER EVER EVER give advice!!!

All I'm saying is before you open your mouth to give advice make sure you have been asked first and foremost. Then make sure you can speak intelligently on the subject and make sure you have all the facts. Ask a few intelligent questions of your own because even your friends can be in the wrong. Don't uphold your friends in their bullshit. If you are a good friend and aren't just an "advice hustler" you will be honest with your friends even if they don't want to hear it. And if they don't want to hear the truth then they shouldn't have asked for advice.

That is all...

Male identified woman and guy thinking is not so different...

Kari and I were having a discussion about a show she was watching...
Kari: The girl was crazy. And the stud let her back in the house, even after she stalked her on the phone all afternoon.
Me: Was she hot?
Kari: Uh... Not really.
Me: Did she have a nice body?
Kari: Yes.
Me: Well, there ya go
Kari: Really? Really?!! Have I been giving studs too much credit all this time?

Well... It's Kari so yes she has been giving studs too much credit about a lot of things. Ladies let me explain this very simply. Whether you are straight, lesbian or bi pay attention because this is how we think. Guys and male identified women are pretty much the same. We are so simple it's ridiculous! We don't want much and for the most part don't ask for much. We normally are not overthinking anything. We like what we like and we will go after it like we were hunting and gathering.

Now let's start with the letting a girl back into the house even tho she's crazy thing:
If we had sex, with a nice looking girl with an amazing body, and it was good. We don't give a shit if she is crazy because we are thinking about sleeping with her again not the fact that she is crazy. We will deal with that crazy bitch until we have decided we are tired of her craziness, which could last for months... LMAO!!!  Now if the girl sucks in bed you better believe we will be trying to figure out ways to get rid of her before we even finish having sex. Just saying ladies!

Let's discuss sports for a moment:
Yes most of us like sports. I am a fanatic when watching the 49ers! I will scream at the TV and act a fool when they do something stupid i.e. the Super Bowl. However, I will give my woman attention during commercials. I don't even mind her asking me questions, just not too many. I will get up during commercials to get my own beer or even have a cooler beside me. I really don't need her to do anything for me during the game cause I'll do it for myself during commercials. Here's the thing though... If you are one of those attention whore type of women PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE save that shit for after the game!!! Don't ask stupid questions like... "Don't you love me" because as much as I love you I'm loving my team more at the moment or "Don't you want me" well of course I want you but I want my team to win more at that moment... Ladies we will give you all the attention you want after the game is over. Our attention span is only so long when our sporting event is on and all that extra crap you are spewing is not being heard unless there's a commercial or the game is over. Please keep that in mind! We love you and want you we just can't focus on that when our team is playing.

Kari question "Why is it ok that you collect shoes. Yet I can't collect nail polish, make up, lip balm? How come that is silly shit? But you can stalk a mall for shoes... But if I go get nail polish you're all like 'you got too many'..." She was on a roll! LMAO:
Here's my answer... I wear ALL of my shoes woman! I have a pair of shoes to match every outfit that I own. You on the other hand have 56 bottles of nail polish that look all alike!!! You have over 800 bottles of nail polish and yet you need more of the same color? The only thing that has changed about nail polish is the name because the colors are all the same. There's not a rhyme or reason for it and on top of that you DON'T wear an 1/8th of them. They are so old the dust on the bottles have given birth and the contents is no longer nail polish it has formed into a science experiment... LMAO!!! And I know you are hating me right now but I'M RIGHT!!!

I could go on all day and I am sure there are a lot of other things you would like to know. If you'd like to get a real answer just ask me and I'll tell you the truth... Don't be scared to ask. I'm full of good info and remember there are no stupid questions...

Waiting for your questions...

Ray Rice..

I made a status yesterday about Ray Rice and I got some feedback about not knowing what a battered woman goes through... And I absolutely agree, I don't know. However, I do know that the dude is an absolute idiot! I also know that there are a lot of women out there who are getting the shit kicked out of them on a daily basis. I also know that his wife is in the public eye and is saying exactly what I've heard many battered women say time and time again. I also know that I'd take half his damn money and bounce! She has the whole world watching this fiasco unfold and if there was a good time to get the hell out, right now would be the perfect time. Take half his shit and bounce no one in their right mind would blame her because you can not tell me that this woman is not getting her ass beat as I type this crap. Can you imagine how he feels now that he doesn't have a career to fall back on? And like she said, he worked all his life to get into the NFL to get kicked out for pulling a Mike Tyson on her... Do the math on how many beat downs she is going to take.

I have seen comments about how this fiasco has ruined his career and the ruling was too harsh BLAH BLAH... SHUT THE HELL UP WITH THAT SHIT!!! This fool did a Mike Tyson on his woman and then drug her unconscious body partially out of the elevator, then dropped her on the damn ground and basically let her lay there while people gathered around. UMMM... Do you honestly believe that he deserved less? I honestly believe he should've gotten worse. They suspended Daryl Washington for a year for smoking weed and you think that Ray Rice should have only gotten a 2 game suspension for doing a "Mike Tyson" on his woman?!! Come on people!!!

There are people in the real world getting fired for less and I don't see fools standing up defending a gay person, a woman, hell even a white dude when companies need to fill a quota. I don't see anyone yelling "It's not fair". As a matter of fact I don't hear a whisper. So you think this man shouldn't have been severely punished after publicly laying this woman out? It's ok to excuse this behavior because he worked his whole life to get to the NFL... To play a GAME?!! So we teach our kids that as long as you are a star athlete then this behavior is acceptable? Please explain to me what's not fair about this man getting suspended indefinitely?

I just hope that his wife survives. I hope that they do actually work things out and that he gets his act together. I hope all the things that she is saying on her Tweets and all the stuff she says in the interviews is true because I can't even imagine how that man feels after losing his livelihood. God be with that woman and their relationship!

That is all...

It's my choice...

I don't normally talk about my sexuality because I don't feel there's a need. What I do in my private life should stay private. Besides pretty much everyone knows I am a lesbian it's not like that's something I keep a secret. I love women and right now I love one woman in particular. I have been pretty low key about our relationship because I feel like I want to give us a chance to work without the whole world putting in their two cents about us.

I realized today as I was scrolling through some articles that I have that option. I have the option to yell about my relationship from the rooftops or keep it quiet. I have a job where I don't really have to hide who I am. I'm not shouting it from the rafters or anything and before you fools start talking about "well you look like a damn lesbian", I still get hit on by silly little men because I'm so damn irresistible to both genders... LOL!!! That's what I tell myself anyway. I don't have to be in the closet because my family and friends already know. I'm not worried about being disowned or ostracized. I am very blessed...

Then I got to thinking about the Michael Sam articles and other celebrities that came out, along with teachers and other professionals. I thought about how I actually have options and either way I am still ok in my life. A lot of professionals don't have the freedom or luxury that I am afforded. Having to hide who they are for fear of being fired or harassed for just wanting the same things that the next person wants and that's to be excepted for who they are. It makes me wonder what the people before us fought for... It makes me wonder how we have come this far in society and still have the backwards thinking that we do... Why in this day and age we are still worried about what someone else is doing in their bedroom instead of worrying about more important things like the fate of the next generation.

We are still fearing... What? That someone will hit on you in the club? That someone will be checking you out when you walk down the street? Or maybe you'll think that everyone that compliments you wants to get with you?

I was out one night and I told this girl she had pretty eyes. She freaked out and told me she had a boyfriend... BLAH BLAH BLAH!  I looked at her like she had lost her mind and started laughing and told her not to flatter herself. Well maybe I was a little drunk and cussed her out but you get the idea... LOL I was young don't judge me! Anyhow, she shut up talking.

I was at the barbershop the other day and this dude made the comment about a guy hitting on him. He said "I went off on that dude!" and I said "Now you know what a woman goes through on a daily basis." That simple comment shut the whole place up. If a simple comment can shut the whole place up then maybe we need to make simple comments on a regular basis. Maybe a simple comment will make a few people think about what they fear. Because really what is there to fear about someone giving a compliment or even hitting on you? (Well, unless it's a stalker or some other weird rape sorta thing.) It's really a compliment. At least someone thinks you're worth takin the time, effort and possible humiliation to acknowledge your existence. All you have to do is say "Thank you" or "I'm not interested" and keep it moving.

I am very fortunate and blessed to be able to be who I am in my life. I will continue to make my simple comments and I will continue to get my point across. I just hope at some point society will stop fearing what they don't understand and start asking questions to understand what they fear...

That is probably not all...

Ex is an Ex for a reason...

Ok I have heard "An ex is an ex for a reason" and I agree to a certain extent. I believe you learn lessons from your relationships with your ex but I don't necessarily think that you should have to eliminate your ex from your life because you guys broke up. I was friends first with several of my exs and I am still friends with them. My best friend in the world is an ex. She knows me better than I know myself some days and if it weren't for her, Kari and I would not be going as strong as we are right now. She is my voice of reason most days and then she has days where I wanna drop kick her because she tells me things I really don't want to face.

Now, when I am starting to talk to someone I let them know up front that Stacy is my best friend. Has been for years and always will be. There isn't anything sexual but I love her like family. Hell even my family loves her so she will always be in my life. I have run into problems with women I had been talking to and Stacy is still around and they are not. We are pretty close even though I don't talk to her on a regular basis.

I know women struggle with exs and in most cases I totally get it. Some of theses fools keep their exs around as a safety net and not as a friend. They don't even give their current relationship a chance to work because they are so busy trying to keep their ex on a short leash "just in case". They are telling their ex everything that goes wrong or comparing the new girl with the ex. If the ex calls they are leaving the room or sneaking around talking to the ex behind the current's back. I look at it this way; if I'm doing all of that crazy nonsense then I shouldn't be wasting the current girl's time... I may as well be with my ex. Nobody has time for that stupid shit! Life's too short...

When Kari and I started talking I told her upfront that my best friend was an ex. I also told her the situation. I didn't hide anything from her and I still don't. I have no reason to hide anything from her and if I did or do I should rethink being with her. I think she struggled with it initially but as time went on she finally understood that Stacy is an important part in my life. I don't do that sneaky crap. If I talk to Stacy I'll let her know. Granted we are in an LDR so really I could do all kinds of crazy stuff, I don't feel the need to be sneaky nor do I have a reason. I'm not trying to keep a "fall back" because I want to give us the best opportunity to make the relationship work. If I'm keeping an ex on standby then we are doomed to fail.

So, is an ex an ex for a reason? Of course... You can learn from an ex, you can gain a friend or you can fuck up a new relationship trying to hold onto an ex. It's your choice what role your ex plays in your life but at least be honest with the current.

That is all...

My man child aka Geeps... Respect your elders

I am very protective of my Geeps. I know I only have so much time left with him and I want to cherish every moment. I don't know how anyone can mistreat their elders. I mean my Geeps drives me to drink some days but he's still my Geeps and I love him more than life itself. I watch how people talk to their elders and it's disturbing that an individual can talk like that to someone who either gave them life and or raised them. How do you out and out cuss out someone who raised you to the best of their ability? It's mind boggling.

I watch people walk right past an older individual who may need help and never look twice or even bother to ask if they need help. They may turn you down but you never know if you don't even ask. I stand in line at the store and watch these punk ass cashiers get an attitude with an elderly customer if they are being "too slow". Fuck, you get paid by the damn hour what's the rush?!! And FUCK those ignorant bitches behind the elderly person because they can easily go to another line. I talk mad shit when I see that crap. LOL I know that shocks some of you...

I know this... If someone EVER talked to my Geeps or acted a fool towards him I would lose my ever lovin mind! I would come so far unhinged it wouldn't even be funny. Show some damn respect to your damn elders. They went through a lot so your raggedy ass can have the freedoms that you now take for granted. Not all of them were in the military or marched next to Martin Luther King Jr. but you better bet your ass that they went through their own realities to make life easier for your parents and possibly you. If you took the time to talk to an elderly person it's better than reality tv.

Geeps and I went runnin around today... Well I run around while he sits in the car and goes for the ride. We went to our final destination today and if you know my Geeps he is never in a hurry... EVER!!! Lol I could tell him we are leaving in an hour and I have to give him at least another hour to get out of the door. So we are meandering around the place and it's a small place and if you know my Geeps he will take up the whole aisle without thinkin about other people being able to get past... Lmao I have to tell him to scoot over. It amuses the hell out of me and for the most part people will wait him out. Why they don't just say "excuse me" is beyond me... Could be I'm behind him daring their ass to say some off the wall shit to him... LMAO!!!

Anyway, we were at this place called "Just Good Meats",  they have some amazing cuts of meat by the way. We were starting to pay for our purchase and this woman behind us was doin the "ho hum" noise behind us. Now I mentioned above my Geeps is NEVER in a hurry and besides that he shouldn't have to be when it's his turn in line. Stupid cow should've beat us there but alas she did not. As she was making her ignorant noises I finally turned around and stared at her for a moment. Normally I would make some kind of crazy comment but I try to curb the attitude problem when I'm with my Geeps cause he makes the comment "You're just like your mother" way too often. Not that that's a bad thing but I don't want to embarrass him... LOL a lot!

It took us a good little bit at the register because I decided to ask a bunch of questions... LOL bet she won't "ho hum" my ass again! Unfortunately for this stupid cow she was parked right next to my passenger side of the car and of course it takes my Geeps  forever to get into the Jeep so guess what, she had to wait on us again. As I walked past her I started to acknowledge her and she gave me attitude so I laughed at her. FUCK YOU LADY!!! I don't give a shit if you have to wait an hour while he gets into the Jeep with that raggedy ass attitude!

For those of you who mistreat your elders remember this, you ignorant bitches; you will be that age one day and I hope your ass gets treated just like you treat your elders. I hope when you walk through a door and someone doesn't hold it for you. I hope if you need help with your bags someone just walks straight past your stupid ass. I hope when you are in line at the store some punk ass kid is talking mad shit and rushing you along. Then I hope after you feel the pain that you put another elderly person through that there is someone there who loves you more than their next breath and they help you through the rest of your days. I hope you teach someone that it's not cool to disrespect anyone no matter what their age...

That is all...

                                

       M.                           

A face that resembles theirs...

Yesterday and today I was being amused by a young lady who works with me. She's new and I haven't had a chance to really chat with her. I probably saw her more yesterday. Anyway, I was flying past her to go take care of something on the other side of the store and she caught me and she asked me what did I do and then she asked if I were a manager. I chuckled and said "Yes I'm a manager. I don't really act like one though do I?" She just kinda looked at me and shook her head. Later that night I told her I'd wear something that would look more like a manager.

Today I was chatting with this same young lady and I asked her if I looked more like a manager today and she said "Not really.", I just laughed. Then she starts asking about her schedule and I told her to put a copy on the desk and I'll sign it. She told me after I signed it that she was going to have Ryan, who is another manager, sign it because she really didn't think I was a manager. I started rollin "Are you serious?!! What do you think I just walk around bossing people around and answering questions because I think it's fun?" Ryan had to tell her that I was a manager... That I was his equal. I'm still amused, no need to get upset because I am pretty unorthodox with my management style.

As we were going home she made the comment that Stephen, Ryan and Sal were on this side and I was WAAAYYY on the other side. That's why she didn't think I was a manager. I asked "Do you think you have to be a white male to be a manager at Home Depot?" she said "Well that's all we've ever seen."

That got me to thinking about all the managers that I've ever had at the Home Depot and she's pretty much correct. I know that the Home Depot is trying to make their management more diverse but in the Omaha area I think it's going to be a little hard if the mentality of the associates is you have to be a white male to promote. I may not have been their first choice but I think I was the right choice especially in the store that I am currently in. Kari made the comment that they haven't had "a face to match theirs so they don't know that it's possible to move up". That made sense to me because all the women that were in management positions either washed out or are so damn miserable you wonder how long they will last. I know it's not an easy job and it helps that I love my job but at the end of the day it's a job. I have learned that I have to make the best decisions I can, given I have about 2.5 seconds to respond. I will make horrible decisions and I'll make amazing decisions either way it's still a learning experience. I need the people I manage to see that it's possible to promote without losing 1- who you are and 2- your mind. Every day should be a new adventure!

I want to be the exception not the rule in someone's life... Anything is possible!!!

That is all...

Random thoughts...

If I'm cooking and I ask you if you'd like for me to make you some and you say "No" do not expect me to share my damn food. I am not going to go hungry and or cook more food for myself because you decided not to speak up when I asked. I'd rather you say "Yes" and then not eat it than to say no and breathe all over my food until I ask you if you want some. My Geeps got so bad about it that I now hesitate for several minutes and then ask him if he's sure. Then I have to wait a few more moments for him to decide how much he wants. It could be upwards of an hour before I start to cook. LOL

I was sitting at the table eating lunch. I had just went and got McDonalds and my fries were still blazing hot, when I still ate fast food. Y'all know how good McDonalds fries are when the are still blazing hot! This fool, who I knew never washed his damn hands, put his damn hands in my friggin fries. I could've spit fire!!! I don't understand what would possess someone to help themselves to my friggin fries. I about lost my mind... Get real I did lose my mind!!! I came so unglued... I asked him what would possess him to put his fuckin hands in my fries without asking and then I got up and threw my whole lunch away... I was a little pissed! I dropped several more F-Bombs and this ignorant  moron asked me why I didn't just give him the food *if looks could kill* I thought he was about to piss himself. If I knew I wouldn't get fired I probably would've jumped on him, that's how mad I was at the time.

I don't do buffets because I don't know what they think that stupid sneeze guard is protecting. I don't understand the point of the sneeze guard. Do they know little kids aren't that tall? And do they know people walk off the street and don't wash their hands? So, my mom decided I needed to go to a buffet because my Geeps likes that nasty ass Golden Coral. I almost hand a meltdown...  won't lie. All I could see was these people touching my food with their nasty ass unwashed hands and these little kids sneezing all over my food before I got there. Needless to say I didn't go, I just couldn't.

Kari says food for me is real... Well yea it is! I enjoy eating good food and I enjoy it even more when it's not getting ruined by someone either interrupting my meal or doing discussing things while I eat or me thinking about the discussing things that people could possibly do to it while I'm not looking. That's why I don't think about what they do to my food when I can't see them cooking it. LOL sounds crazy I know but don't care... Out of site out of mind!

That is random...