My guy crush...

So let me explain where this is coming from... I have this guy friend named J.R. He is and always will be my buddy. J.R. and I have known each other for a long time and we have NEVER EVER EVER had sex with one another. We flirt mercilessly and there is a sexual undertone to our relationship, but there isn't any physical attraction what so ever on my part. He has never tried to sleep with me and has always been respectful of me. I will tell anyone if I were into men I would marry him in a heartbeat. We get along better than most of the relationships I have ever been in and the emotional connection that I have with him is intense. But again there isn't anything physical between us. The love I have for J.R. is far more than a friendship level. I can't even explain it rationally but it is what it is.

There are women in the community that consider themselves as "true Lesbians". These women feel that if you have an attraction to men then you are not a "true Lesbian". They would tell you that the relationship that I have with J.R. makes me less of a Lesbian because I have an intense feeling for a man. They would tell you that I must have bi tendencies and that I should just identify with being bisexual even though I have no intentions of being physical with that man. They would tell you that I must be confused and that I am not a "true Lesbian" because I am attracted to this man on an emotional level. They would tell you these things even though I've never had sex with a man in my life and have no desire to do so, not even with J.R., who I am attracted to on an emotional level.

I also think that J.R. is a sexy man. I'm equal opportunity as far as aesthetics are concerned. If a person is attractive, I don't care if it's a man or woman, I can appreciate the aesthetics of that person without it being a sexual thing. I do think there are some sexy men out there and I will tell a man he is sexy if I feel like it that day. Doesn't mean I want to sleep with him it just means I find him attractive or nice looking. I love when I tell a woman she is attractive and she freaks out because she thinks I'm hitting on her. Get over yourselves people!!! Someone can think you are attractive without wanting to take your ass to bed.

I'm not quite sure what a "true lesbian" is supposed to be and to be honest if I have to conform to the ridged ideals of what a "true Lesbian" is supposed to be I would rather stay an "untrue Lesbian". I'd rather be happy with who I am as a person than to conform to unrealistic expectations. I do find men attractive and I am emotionally attracted to J.R. but I don't think I am any less of a Lesbian than the next person. Trying to live up to this "God like" image that some have of what it is to be a "true Lesbian" is rather ridiculous and unrealistic. I am who I am and that's really all that matters.

That is all...