Ex is an Ex for a reason...

Ok I have heard "An ex is an ex for a reason" and I agree to a certain extent. I believe you learn lessons from your relationships with your ex but I don't necessarily think that you should have to eliminate your ex from your life because you guys broke up. I was friends first with several of my exs and I am still friends with them. My best friend in the world is an ex. She knows me better than I know myself some days and if it weren't for her, Kari and I would not be going as strong as we are right now. She is my voice of reason most days and then she has days where I wanna drop kick her because she tells me things I really don't want to face.

Now, when I am starting to talk to someone I let them know up front that Stacy is my best friend. Has been for years and always will be. There isn't anything sexual but I love her like family. Hell even my family loves her so she will always be in my life. I have run into problems with women I had been talking to and Stacy is still around and they are not. We are pretty close even though I don't talk to her on a regular basis.

I know women struggle with exs and in most cases I totally get it. Some of theses fools keep their exs around as a safety net and not as a friend. They don't even give their current relationship a chance to work because they are so busy trying to keep their ex on a short leash "just in case". They are telling their ex everything that goes wrong or comparing the new girl with the ex. If the ex calls they are leaving the room or sneaking around talking to the ex behind the current's back. I look at it this way; if I'm doing all of that crazy nonsense then I shouldn't be wasting the current girl's time... I may as well be with my ex. Nobody has time for that stupid shit! Life's too short...

When Kari and I started talking I told her upfront that my best friend was an ex. I also told her the situation. I didn't hide anything from her and I still don't. I have no reason to hide anything from her and if I did or do I should rethink being with her. I think she struggled with it initially but as time went on she finally understood that Stacy is an important part in my life. I don't do that sneaky crap. If I talk to Stacy I'll let her know. Granted we are in an LDR so really I could do all kinds of crazy stuff, I don't feel the need to be sneaky nor do I have a reason. I'm not trying to keep a "fall back" because I want to give us the best opportunity to make the relationship work. If I'm keeping an ex on standby then we are doomed to fail.

So, is an ex an ex for a reason? Of course... You can learn from an ex, you can gain a friend or you can fuck up a new relationship trying to hold onto an ex. It's your choice what role your ex plays in your life but at least be honest with the current.

That is all...