GOOD KISSING...

I always wondered why individuals slobbered when they kiss. I wondered what they thought was sexy about sharing their spit. I mean I have my own spit I really don't need someone else's spit in my mouth. For me a lot hinges on the first kiss. In my head if you can't kiss then you can't do other things in bed. I know it sounds pretty ridiculous but I haven't been proved wrong yet. 

What I have noticed too is that most guys can't kiss. I've kissed a few guys in my time and I promise you only ONE could kiss properly. For those of you who went to school with me y'all wouldn't guess in a million years which guy it was... LOL! For the rest it either felt like I was having my head sucked off my shoulders or I felt like I was taking a shower. Either way UGHHHHH!!! I don't understand why my lips need to be a part of your body. And don't get me started about the shower. I'm pretty damn sure I took a damn shower before we went on the date. No need to lick my whole damn face like your tongue is a moist towelette. Oh and don't get me started with the ones that shoved their tongue down my damn throat like they were trying to taste what I had for dinner the night before. WTF... Making me fight for air and they took that as a sign to shove their damn tongue even further down my throat!!! NO... You damn fool get your tongue off my tonsils!!! 

Now I've kissed a few women in my time who could not kiss and let me tell you they were horrible in other aspects as well. When you're young though you will say "Fuck it!" to the world if you're drunk enough. Not being able to kiss is sooo... Can't even explain it rationally.

I realize that every one's idea of good kissing is subject. I kissed this chick once and almost spit after we were done but I didn't. She had so much spit in my mouth that I wanted to hurl to be honest! A buddy of mine kissed the same girl and was like "OMG she kisses awesome!" *Blank stare* In my head I wondered if it was the same girl... Then it made me wonder how my buddy kissed. Then I remembered how I wanted to spit on the girl's shoes and thought better of that wondering how my buddy kissed thing. I guess there are people out there who enjoy being slobbered on... UGHHH!!!

OK... My idea of a good kisser is first and foremost someone who doesn't slobber on me. Leave your spit in your own mouth or swallow it. I don't want it all over my face or in my mouth. I also like soft lips... Soft lips are a must! I keep lip stuff on me at all times. You will never kiss me and my lips feel like dried up worms! I also like a little bit of tongue. Operative word "LITTLE"!!! I don't need your tongue down my damn throat choking the life out of me. Everything in small doses people. A little nibbling on my lips is ok but for the love of all that is holy DO NOT bite my damn lip! I had a girl bite my lip so hard she drew blood then I wanted to punch her because I had a fat lip afterwards... WTF is that crap?!! You're not supposed to have battle scars after a kiss. Maybe after sex but NEVER after a good kiss.

I have no idea where I was going with this blog but I had to get it out...

That is all...