Justified punch...

I admin for LLA Singles page on Facebook and I made this post... "I watched a woman knock the crap out of her girlfriend in the bar one night because some other stud walked up to her and said "Hello"...
Have you ever dated someone so jealous that they would act a fool in public even if someone said "excuse me"?" 

I had someone comment that I didn't know the situation and that you never know if the 2 studs were "beefing" and that studs are disrespectful and will hit on your woman right in front of you knowing that you are together. She said that she would've hit her woman and the stud... ETC ETC BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! I have two problems with her statement;

1- When you put your business in the street you just made it everyones business and 

2- There is NEVER EVER EVER a good reason to knock the crap out of someone. If someone comes and starts chatting up your woman and she continues the conversation without letting the other person know she is in a relationship maybe it's time for you to go. What are you hitting for?!! If she's allowing it to happen in your face what is she doing behind your back? Unless that's foreplay for the both of them... What's the damn point?!!

I don't understand when couples lay hands on one another and I definitely don't understand why two women in a relationship put their hands on one another. Possibly a product of their environment but for me women are supposed to be nurturers. I understand that women can be very jealous and insecure so it makes us do crazy things but putting my hands on someone is not my idea of a solution. That is the means to an end! If for some reason I feel I need to punch the shit out of my woman or my woman feels she needs to put her hands on me it's time to go. What in the world am I staying for? And that apologizing shit... You can go suck on one with that shit!!! If you get hit once you can bet your ass it will happen again! And if you have been hit once and only once congratulations to you you are one of the lucky ones. 

That is all for now...

No one can make you happy...

OK... I'm thrown off by the whole "I need someone to make me happy" mindset that some women have. I am so friggin tired of women thinking they have to have someone in their life in order to make them happy. NOOOO you friggin idiot!!! No one can make you happy... Yes you can have bouts of happiness with someone but NO ONE I repeat NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY EXCEPT YOU!!!!

MOM MOMENT... My mom used to tell me all the time that I need to be able to be by myself and do for myself in order to have a successful relationship. She said that you have to make your own happiness in order to be happy, which also makes for a successful relationship. She told me no one is going to make you happy if you can't make you happy! Love that woman for all the wisdom and craziness that she has bestowed upon my life...

Now for those of you who didn't have a Karen, my mom by the way, bestowing wisdom upon you then let me help you out... NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY EXCEPT YOU!!! You have got to be able to make your own way. You have to know you are more than the person you date. You can do anything you set your mind to and don't let anyone especially the person who you are in a relationship with, the person who claims to love you, tell you "you ain't shit". Because guess what you won't be shit if you listen to the bullshit and stay in that kind of relationship. You can't become anything if you choose to stay with someone who isn't about shit! And let me tell you anyone telling you "you ain't shit" or "you won't amount to shit" isn't about shit and knows that you can do better than their raggedy ass!!!

I don't care if you are dating or married to a billionaire if they are telling you "you ain't shit" or "you won't amount to shit" then they know they can't do better. (Take 1/2 and leave if you're married.. LOL) They know that no one with self worth will put up with their raggedy ass attitude so they will continue to put you down to make you stay because they know they can't do better. So know your worth! Find your worth! Don't let anyone ever hold you down! It may be hard but at the end it will be worth it... And I promise you will find your happiness and someone who is worth sharing that happiness with but never settle just because you don't think you can do better. You will do better if you want better and be patient.

That is all...

Wanting to be too important

I have had one of the most eye opening experiences since I have been in my position. I had a gentleman call the store and just be irate over absolutely nothing. The situation could've been handled by any associate in the store but he felt that he was so important that he needed a manager to help him with his situation. Even after being helped he was still belligerent. Why do people feel that just because you spend money in an establishment that you automatically run the place? 

I have yet to be rude to a customer and I have yet to do anything blatantly wrong that I should be fired. I make my share of mistakes and I may handle a situation incorrectly but I learn from it and move on. Today I helped this man who thinks that he is more important than anyone else and apparently I didn't cow tow enough for his liking. My job is to help alleviate problems not kiss ass. That's not my style. I stayed calm with this man as he tried to intimidate and use scare tactics and obviously that didn't work for him so he threatened my job. Still I stayed calm and told him he had to do what he had to do. Am I worried about losing my job... Absolutely not I did nothing wrong but it really makes me furious that someone would think they are so above someone that they can treat them like a throw away and think that's ok. I really don't care about someone having millions or having pennies I will always treat everyone equal that spends money in my store. I treat every costumer and associate with respect and in return I know I won't always get the same but to threaten my livelyhood... Unexceptable!!! 

Bill Cosby...

Ok... So I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been seeing this Bill Cosby rape deal and all the women coming forward after many many years of keeping quiet. I'm thinking that he had raped some young ass girl and she has come forward and busted him out and then all these other women came forward to collaborate her story. I then thought how in the hell is this old ass dude strong enough to pin down a young girl and the next thought that crossed my mind is that he must be overusing the Viagra... But alas that is not the case.

These women were raped or sexually assaulted 30+ years ago and I understand that back then a woman screaming rape would probably not have gotten much attention without the collaboration of other women. However, 30 years ago a black man would have been put under the jail for raping or sexually assaulting a white woman. Not dismissing these women's stories or even taking Bill Cosby's side but why in the hell did they wait until 2005 to make allegations of rape or sexual assault and then why did it take Janice Dickinson until this year to come forward? And why did it take her to come forward for everyone to start dropping him from labels?

These people are 8000 years old!!! What in the hell is coming forward now going to accomplish besides dredging up insane memories? Is it all about the money? WTH are they trying to accomplish? If they wanted to ruin his career they should've come forward well before the man made millions and has done a ton for the community. Why didn't all of this come out when he was doing "The Cosby Show" it would've made more of an impact. Now it just looks like they are out to get his money and destroy what little life he has left as well as the little life they have left.

I'm sure there's more to the story and I have only researched it a little, but the fact remains that they waited until this man has become an icon. He is the "Jello Man" for goodness sakes. By the way, I have a lot of inappropriate comments about that... LOL!!! I'm not sure if the allegations are true or not I wasn't there, but it seems at this stage in this man's life you haven't accomplished anything by coming forward with this. I think it may do more harm than good for the women at this point. I guess we will have to just sit back and wait to see how this fiasco unfolds...

That is all...

Road Rage

OK so Kari has informed me that I have road rage on numerous occasions. We have been in the Jeep chatting away and some moron will cut me off and in mid sentence I will be cussing my brains out and wishing it was Summer so my cussing wouldn't go to waste... LOL ignorant I know but I don't care!
Now the other day courtesy of the genius who decided not to salt the roads knowing there was a possibility of snow... There was an accident down from my house. I live on a damn hill so these morons directed these fools up the hill. Some dipshit decided to park his fuckin car on the damn hill next to the damn stop sign at the top, so the traffic got backed up. GO FIGURE!!! So now the even bigger dipshits watched me slide through the stop sign going down the hill and decided at that moment to make a U-turn in the street.... *DUMB DOG LOOK* WHY in the fuck would you do a U-turn in front of me after you just watched me slide down the fuckin hill?!! For the love of all that is HOLY use some fuckin common sense!!!
I was sitting at a stoplight and the light for me was green for a good little bit. This damn mini van, woman on the damn phone, rode through her red light like she was 5.0 chasing someone. Then when people were honking and slamming on brakes she looked up like WTF, looked at the light saw it was red and stopped in the middle of the fucking street. WTF are you stopping for now?!!!
Now you can call it what you want but I call it justified! It's not like I got out and beat them with a ball bat or shot them drive-by style... All I did was cuss my brains out (wishing it were nice out), maybe flipped them off and honked a lot... LMAO... SUE ME!!!
Now that she is driving and about to deal with stupid she will understand the manic behavior and I can't wait to remind her about my road rage... LOL

That is all...

2 reasons why women stay in abusive relationships

I asked this woman why do women stay in bad relationships when they have a way out and she told me for 2 reasons...
1-- They don't think they can do better &
2-- Sex
SMH... So of course I asked a bunch more questions like I was a reporter and shit!

She told me that she has stayed for both reasons. She said that when you grow up and watch your dad or another male figure treat your mom like shit and or beat on her you just assume that that is the way relationships are supposed to be. She told me that a lot of the women that she hangs with are still in abusive relationships because they feel that if their man isn't hitting on them then they don't love them.
*BLANK STARE* Now y'all already know this sounds like some bullshit to me! I don't give a damn that's some ignorant thinking to me. So I keep on asking.
She told me that when you get beat down and have something drilled in your head your whole life and you don't get to see a healthy relationship then how are you supposed to think? She continued to tell me that the boys are the same... They continue the ignorance when they grow up because "Hey mom is ok with it so then that's the way it's supposed to be". Until they find that woman who isn't ok with it and start fighting back or leave.
I did get that... A product of your environment. I was lucky in that I had a mom who is a fighter. She didn't play that hitting on her bullshit... THANK GOD!!! She taught me that you don't have to put up with any kind of bullshit. You have to be strong enough to stand on your own two feet in order to be in a healthy relationship with someone. My mom was by herself for a lot of years and she was ok with it. As crazy as my mom is I will say that I wouldn't trade her for the world!!!

Now the second part of her reasons why women stay...  SEX!!! Now this one I still am not wrapping my head around. I said "There's not a DICK..." I had to laugh on that one "Or a PIECE OF ASS that would make me stick around in a bad relationship or stay and get my ass kicked!!!" She said I'd be surprised how many women do. SO... I asked the question on the site that I'm on and I'll be DAMNED!!! There were women who said they stayed for the sex. I asked what is it about someones's sex game that would make you stay and I got crickets. That's ok though because they answered the important question.
She told me that it's hard to find a sexual partner that can put it on you so when you do find that person then you will hang on to them for dear life. I'd rather have a mediocre partner than get my ass kicked or treated like shit in my relationship. Why the hell can't you just be friends with benefits? I mean you still get what you want without all the drama!

I will say that she cleared up a lot of things for me. Especially since I keep getting told I'm insensitive when it comes to domestic abuse. It's not that I was trying to be insensitive I was just trying to understand why someone would stay when they have the opportunity to leave. When you are not brought up in the environment it's hard to wrap your head around the why's. And yea some of you will ask "Why does it matter?" Because it's in the news and plastered everywhere... Thats's why!
I think if you are trying to inform the public you need to remember that not all of the public has gone through domestic abuse and in my case I saw it but not for long. I watched women leave as hard as it may have been they left. So... To watch a woman stay when she could get out is hard to understand. Now I do! Thanks to a young lady who was real and honest.
I know I'm late on this but I saw a commercial while watching football with players saying they won't ignore it again. What about the law who ignores it every fuckin day?!! Why aren't they gone after and made to go on commercials saying the same thing? It's happening every day and these women's only protection is a piece of paper... Because a piece of paper has always been stronger than a bullet or a knife! That piece of paper must have super powers that I just haven't seen in my lifetime!
These friggin "media chasers" piss me off!!! They got their several days of fame off of the NFL and then disappeared... SMH... Gotta love it!
More power to the people working hard every day who aren't all over the news trying to make a difference!!!

That is all...

Worthless family... You didn't earn it so how do you "deserve" anything

It blows my mind that people will spend so much time trying to get from others instead of putting that energy towards getting their own. It blows my mind that they spend so much time thinking of ways to get themselves in Wills instead of putting that energy into getting their own. It blows my mind that they use manipulation and if that doesn't work intimidation to get what they haven't worked for. It really shouldn't blow my mind but it does.

I sit and listen to all the crazy questions and the manipulation to get what they haven't worked for and it makes me wanna snap. I work my ass off and yes I live with my Geeps but I have never asked for one dime since I have been here. He has tried to give me money and I don't take it because I don't need it. I live here because when it's all said and done he does not need to be living on his own. And I'll be damned if he gets put in a "home". He can still do his own thing... Maybe not as fast or as accurate but he can still do his thing. He is not losing his mind nor memory and is still on it mentally. So as long as he is capable, I am willing to just be his "pain in the ass" LOL

I have walked in from work and the house is filled with smoke, he's passed out in his chair, because he started cooking something and fell to sleep. I know he is on ladders and has fallen off but he won't tell me that unless I push and push him to tell me why he's limping around. I know when he's not feeling well or when he hasn't taken his pills in a couple days. I know when he is catching a cold and when he needs to stop eating a ton of sugar stuff. I know a lot more than he thinks I do and that's ok because that makes him feel more independent.

The thing that probably pisses me off the most is that these fools keep bugging him for money and asking him what's in his Will. Telling him that they should be getting more than anyone else and so and so forth. *Blank stare* How in the fuck do you think you "deserve" something that you didn't work for? How do you feel like you "deserve" to get everything when he's already giving you everything. My Geeps sends money to certain relatives like it grows on trees and he thinks I don't know but trust and believe I know. He was told that I, ME, THE PERSON WHO HAS BEEN HERE FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS, shouldn't get anything because (I, ME) am not related. *Dumb dog look* REALLY DUMB ASS?!! The last time I checked my grandmother is/ was your mother... FUCKIN MORON!!! No... Geeps and I are not related by blood but at the end of the day he's my Geeps!!! I'd give my life for the little old man!!!

While I'm at this rant lets clear a couple things up...
1) I never asked to be in the Will. As a matter of fact I told him to give it to the great-grand kids
2) I have NEVER since I've been here asked for anything and that includes the house. However, I'll be damned if some drugged out, crack head, jail ridden piece of worthless shit fuck up gets this house!!! I'll burn the mothafucka to the ground first. Hell I'd rather see him Will it to the dogs first...
3) Anyone that doesn't believe me can suck on one because frankly I don't give a fuck what you believe!!! Because I know which one of y'all are asking for shit, talking shit, NOT calling or visiting when you say you will, those of you who have stolen from them and the list goes on...

If you have an older relative show some fuckin respect!!! When you are talking about Wills and what you should get it makes it seem like you can't wait for them to die so you can get some shit. How about call or visit every so often? Check up on them and see how they are doing without asking for shit... Just a thought!

That is all...

A shoe surprise...

I ordered this pair of shoes... I know you're all surprised by that! Lol... Anyway shut up! So I get this e-mail that says "We’ve got a surprise for you—your order has shipped! We’ve also included your tracking info, so you can track your order to its final destination." 

What I want to know is what's the surprise? I ordered the shoes and I paid for the shoes so how is them sending the shoes that I ordered a surprise to me? I mean I guess it could be a surprise that it only took them 2 days instead of a week to ship my shoes but where is the surprise? It's not even a surprise that I bought shoes nor is it a surprise that they are shipping the shoes that I bought. I'm so confused!!! 

What would be a surprise for them is if they didn't ship the shoes I paid for and I called them losing my mind. But even that wouldn't really be a surprise. I guess I'll be surprised when my shoes show up and they are red... Wait... That's the color I ordered!

That is all... SURPRISED?!!

Make up...

Ok so I'm having this conversation with Kari and she's laughing because she says that it's funny that I'm with a woman who owns tons of make-up yet doesn't wear it on a regular basis and I don't like make-up. I told her that it's not that I don't like make-up its that I don't like that shit messing up my clothes. I'm wearing a $50 white shirt and you wanna kiss my neck... MISS... And now my $50 white shirt, that took me forever and a day to find, is reduced to a rag if that crap doesn't come out.

I'm really not into high maintenance women so most of the women I have dated only wore make-up when we were going out so we both are dressed nice. It never fails that the one time she wants to cry or lay her head on my shoulder and kiss my neck is the night I'm wearing a light colored shirt or sweater! I get that we went to some sappy girly movie and she got all emotional, but do you really have to lay your head on my light colored shirt or sweater and cry?!! I mean you just got all that damn mascara all over my damn $50 white shirt that took me forever to find because we all know there aren't many out there that fit correctly! Or we get a little tipsy while at dinner or out at some party and she gets all frisky but do you have to kiss my neck with the brightest damn lipstick in the universe on?!! And of course it couldn't be the lipstick that doesn't smear it has to be that cheap crap that you can dye your hair for the rest of your life. Making my shirt look like it has been tie dyed!!!

I think make-up, if not over done, is sexy but when it looks worse than BOZO the clown... SMH! It's caked on so friggin thick that when you go to take it off your whole face print is on a towel and the make-up hasn't even been washed off completely. That's doin too much people! And what in the hell is with penciling in eyebrows? If you have perfectly good eyebrows why in the hell do you shave them off and then pencil them back in? Why don't you just get them plucked, thread them or have a barber straight razor them? I just don't understand... Please explain this phenomenon.

I think when wearing make-up you should call your date and ask them what color they are wearing so that you choose the appropriate washability of the make-up. I think if I am paying for the date I should not also have to pay for a new shirt or sweater!

That is all... LMAO... I'm sure I'll catch hell for this one!!!

Naked pics... Social suicide?

I was sitting here scrolling through FB and I was thinking about women who send perfectly good strangers a naked pic of themselves. I know when I was sent naked or half naked pics from this chick that I barely knew I became a 16 year old boy. I showed everybody that would look. And of course I have a lot of guy friends so they wanted to see the crazy fool who sent me the pics. I don't care whether the chick had the body of a goddess or a troll doll I was showing the pics.

Am I wrong for that? *SHRUG* More than likely yes... Maybe... I'm not sure! When people get naked pics of a total stranger you better believe they are sharing your pic all over everywhere. You may as well count on at least 10 other people seeing that pic. And you better pray they don't blast your pic all over every social media site they can find. And for the love of all that is holy do not take a naked pic with your face in the pic!!! Social suicide if the stranger decides to be an ass and leaks the pic!

Here's what it amounts to in my head anyway. How little respect do you have for yourself that you would send a perfect stranger a naked pic of yourself? Do you think that a perfect stranger has any respect for someone who sends them a naked pic of themselves? For me the answer would be a big fat NO on both counts. I will have absolutely no respect for a woman who would send me a pic of herself without even knowing me from Adam. What loyalty do I have to a stranger? Absolutely NONE!

Is it ignorant of me to turn into a 16 year old boy when a perfect stranger sends me a naked pic? Of course it is, but I swear I have a shit ton of testosterone running through my veins! I am mostly surprised that someone would actually send me naked pics when I don't know them. It is hazardous to someones health to send me a naked pic of themselves because I will guarantee you that at least 10 people will see that pic. And believe me I'd say "NOOO girl I won't show anyone your pic." If someone ever has that answer to your dumb question of "Will you show anybody?" know that in their head they have already showed that pic to half their friends. Quite possibly weighing their morals whether they will post that pic on FB. The first thing out of my mouth when I show my fools naked pics is "I can't believe this fool just sent my dumb ass a naked pic. Look at this shit!"

I would suggest a little discretion when sending someone naked pics. I would suggest that you don't send a near or perfect stranger a naked pic first and foremost. I would also suggest if you do decide to send naked pics then at least crop your face out of the pic. Also if you have any markings that could incriminate you later you may want to photoshop the pic. Just in case you send your pic to a near stranger that may be reduced to a 16 year old boy...

That is all...

I'm sorry... Not always!

Honestly I hate when someone says "I'm sorry"to me after they have done something ridiculously stupid. Do you even know what the hell it is that pissed me off in the first place that would prompt you to say "I'm sorry"? Or are you just saying those stupid ass words because I got pissed off? I'd say most people are just clueless as to why they are apologizing!

If for some reason I piss someone off or upset them the first thing I do is ask what I said or did so wrong to get them that upset. If it's something I feel requires an apology then I will apologize. My apology will be sincere and you can bet I'll never say or do whatever it is that upset you ever again. However, if I feel that you got all butt hurt because I told you something that you just didn't want to hear... UMM suck it up Buttercup because I'm not going to apologize. I don't care if you don't agree with what I have to say. That doesn't warrant an apology, that's one of those times where a discussion is in order. I'm NEVER EVER going to apologize for having an opinion and neither should anyone else.

My mom told me "I told you so..." so many damn times during and after my last break up that my butt was raw...LOL. I didn't want to hear it at all but it's my moms and it is her job to make sure my head is out of my ass so that I do not make the same dumb ass mistake again. You know like date a POS ever again in life! I don't expect my mom to apologize because I was in my feelings about a dumb ass mistake I made.

If you upset someone because of something ridiculously stupid you did and you have no idea what that ridiculously stupid thing is that you did, then by all means ask. Don't just say "I'm sorry" because you think it will fix the situation. Because it WON"T!!! Why you ask... Because the apology was not sincere. How can an apology be sincere when you have no idea what  you are apologizing for? Hell for that matter you may not even feel you want to apologize so how about asking before you do so.

I'd really rather not hear an apology. I'd rather for you to fix the situation and never do whatever stupid ass thing you did to have to apologize in the first place. I'd rather you stay out of my face until you have fixed the issue. And if you really need to apologize for your own peace of mind then by all means say "I'm sorry" but know it will mean absolutely nothing unless your actions reflect your apology.

That is all...

My guy crush...

So let me explain where this is coming from... I have this guy friend named J.R. He is and always will be my buddy. J.R. and I have known each other for a long time and we have NEVER EVER EVER had sex with one another. We flirt mercilessly and there is a sexual undertone to our relationship, but there isn't any physical attraction what so ever on my part. He has never tried to sleep with me and has always been respectful of me. I will tell anyone if I were into men I would marry him in a heartbeat. We get along better than most of the relationships I have ever been in and the emotional connection that I have with him is intense. But again there isn't anything physical between us. The love I have for J.R. is far more than a friendship level. I can't even explain it rationally but it is what it is.

There are women in the community that consider themselves as "true Lesbians". These women feel that if you have an attraction to men then you are not a "true Lesbian". They would tell you that the relationship that I have with J.R. makes me less of a Lesbian because I have an intense feeling for a man. They would tell you that I must have bi tendencies and that I should just identify with being bisexual even though I have no intentions of being physical with that man. They would tell you that I must be confused and that I am not a "true Lesbian" because I am attracted to this man on an emotional level. They would tell you these things even though I've never had sex with a man in my life and have no desire to do so, not even with J.R., who I am attracted to on an emotional level.

I also think that J.R. is a sexy man. I'm equal opportunity as far as aesthetics are concerned. If a person is attractive, I don't care if it's a man or woman, I can appreciate the aesthetics of that person without it being a sexual thing. I do think there are some sexy men out there and I will tell a man he is sexy if I feel like it that day. Doesn't mean I want to sleep with him it just means I find him attractive or nice looking. I love when I tell a woman she is attractive and she freaks out because she thinks I'm hitting on her. Get over yourselves people!!! Someone can think you are attractive without wanting to take your ass to bed.

I'm not quite sure what a "true lesbian" is supposed to be and to be honest if I have to conform to the ridged ideals of what a "true Lesbian" is supposed to be I would rather stay an "untrue Lesbian". I'd rather be happy with who I am as a person than to conform to unrealistic expectations. I do find men attractive and I am emotionally attracted to J.R. but I don't think I am any less of a Lesbian than the next person. Trying to live up to this "God like" image that some have of what it is to be a "true Lesbian" is rather ridiculous and unrealistic. I am who I am and that's really all that matters.

That is all...

Sex is just sex sometimes...

I think what individuals fail to realize is "sex" does not equate to "love". The two can be confusing if you don't understand exactly how to distinguish between them. Yes you have sex with the one you love, but when you actually think about it do you love someone because of sex or do you love them because of the emotional connection that the two of you share? I love having sex but I may not necessarily love the person that I'm having sex with... Prime example "friends with benefits". That however is another blog.

I do believe too often we end up jumping into relationships because the sex comes before the emotional part of the relationship. We have a tendency to confuse the two. If you end up going out with someone a few times without getting to know them before you have sex and you catch feelings for that person, then I believe you are confusing good sex with love. What do you actually know about this person that you had sex with other than you are compatible in bed? Have you learned anything about them other than they give good oral, that they love to strap up, that they flipped you over and took you in every way possible? Is that truly love? I don't believe it is.

When Kari and I got together I told her I wanted to get to know her on a more personal level. That's why I thought an LDR was perfect for me. I could get to know her on a more personal level before anything physical happened. I told her that I could "fuck" anyone. I could go find someone to have sex with without the hassle of the "girlfriend" label and all the emotions that go with a relationship. I wanted to get to know the real "Kari" before all the confusion of the physical. I have primal needs just like the next person. There are days when I want her so bad, thought is not even an option. When we were in Minnesota for eleven days it was a chore to keep it together. I'm human and that human part wanted to be on a mission some days! Some days I wanted to pin her against the wall and just... Other days I felt like unicorn kisses and rainbows. LOL however, I stayed a saint... I do regret it from time to time but it'll be worth it in the end.

There are days when I don't want to hear someone say "make love to me"... I want to hear someone tell me "I just wanna get raw". (I'm trying to keep this semi-clean... LOL) There are times when I don't want the candles and rose petals everywhere messin up my sheets, well unless we are using the candle wax for other purposes ;-)! I wanna come in from a date and pin her against the wall and... Use your imagination people. So... Does that I mean I love the person I want to do that to or that I have done that to? Not all the time.

I have been told that when you are truly in love or when you have an emotional connection with someone the sex is better. I suppose for some that is true. For me it just depends on my mood. I think you can have intense sex with a total stranger if all you want to do is fulfill a primal need or urge. I think too often when you end up in a relationship some not all believe that you must "make love" every time you have sex. NOOOO people you DO NOT!!! I have been in several relationships where I put the cart before the horse, so to speak, and the sex before we hooked up was amazing. Then in the relationship it was all unicorn kisses and rainbows. WTF happened to you coming home and ripping my clothes off because you couldn't wait to get to the bedroom? WTF happened to having sex in every room of the house because well we could? WTF happened to spontaneous? What happened was we confused love with sex! We, well not "WE", decided that now that "WE" are in a relationship sex became "making love". UGHHH... NOT ALL THE TIME!!! Don't get me wrong I do enjoy the unicorn kisses and rainbow stuff. I enjoy being romantic and all that smushy stuff but not all the time every time.

I do love Kari and we have yet to have sex. I am blessed to have found someone who was willing to get to know me on an emotional level versus a physical. And yes we could've gotten physical before we got to know each other well. We had the opportunity but circumstances were such that it wasn't in the cards. Why you ask? Because Kari is an emotional being! LOL she didn't think I liked her initially. So if we would've hooked up then wouldn't it had been about sex and nothing about our emotional connection with one another? It wouldn't have had anything to do with love... I promise you that!

So the next time you have sex with that person you barely know ask yourself is it truly love or is it a primal need that you must fulfill. The next time you are with the one you are emotionally connected to and you are about to have sex ask yourself is it out of obligation or is it something that you enjoy. Ask yourself is this the time where we get "raw" and make the neighbors jealous or is this the night we feel like "making love". Actually maybe you need to stop thinking and just do what comes natural whether you are emotionally connected or if you are just hooking up with someone for the first time.

Sex can be just sex even with someone you love...

That is all...

Definition of "Lesbian"...

I'm so damn tired of hearing "You are not a true lesbian if..." I wish people would shut the hell up with that shit! It annoys me almost as much as someone saying some ignorant shit that they have no idea what they're talking about. OH WAIT!!! This would be one of those statements. SO guess what... It's ANNOYING me immensely!!!

Kari wrote a post on LLA the other night asking "Can you still be a Lesbian if you occasionally sleep with men?" Now this got all these "die hard" Lesbians up in arms. Talking about "People nowadays changing the meaning of the word Lesbian", "If you sleep with men you're bi sexual", and my absolute favorite "I'm assuming you don't know what the definition of a Lesbian is by asking this question...". So of course Kari and I looked up the definition of lesbian and homosexual. Gotta do our research... LOL!

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

For other uses, see Lesbian (disambiguation).

The word lesbian can refer to a woman's identity, to desire, or to romantic or sexual activity between women. (Sappho and Erinna in a Garden at Mytilene by Simeon Solomon)

A lesbian is a female homosexual; a female who experiences romantic love or sexual attraction to other females.^[1][2] The term lesbian is also used with regard to sexual identity or sexual behavior, regardless of sexual orientation, or as an adjective to characterize or associate nouns with female homosexuality or same-sex attraction.^[2][3]

Now I don't know about you but I don't see anywhere in that definition where it states that a Lesbian can not be attracted to men or even have a sexual relationship with a man. I don't see anywhere in that definition where it states that Lesbians can "ONLY" be attracted to other women and not men. We even searched "Urban Dictionary" and it stated the same thing as the definition above. So, I'm wondering if the woman who made the comment  "I'm assuming you don't know what the definition of a Lesbian is by asking this question..." ever looked up the meaning of the word Lesbian. I would render to guess that she has not! Or if she did she took the definition and interpreted the definition to fit her idea of what a Lesbian should be... You know like how people do with the bible... LOL!

If you actually step back and think about this definition even straight women have "Lesbian" relationships. It seems the word Lesbian is kind of broad. So women who have been in long term friendships could actually be considered Lesbian. I mean it's not purely based off of sex its also the "emotional connection" you have with another woman. Like my friends Tammy and Jennifer's relationship could in reality be considered a Lesbian relationship because of the "emotional connection" that they share with one another. They have been best friends for years. These two broads have a closer relationship than most women I know in an actual Lesbian relationship. They do everything except have sex and some days I question that part... LMAO just kidding ladies!!! But it states "regardless of sexual orientation" so technically their relationship could be considered Lesbian without the sex. Think about it...

SO...  I do believe the answer to Kari's question is a "yes", you can sleep with a man and still be a Lesbian. It's not all about the sex it's the emotional connection that you have with women that make you a lesbian as well as the sexual aspect. You don't have to sleep with a woman to be a Lesbian considering it says "regardless of sexual orientation". *SHRUGS*

Did you stop and think for a moment that maybe just maybe I just twisted the definition to fit my argument? Lets see... I really don't care what you think... Do YOUR own research and prove me wrong then I may actually give a shit what you think!!!

That is all...

ORAL SEX...

Oral sex has become one of the topics in the Lesbian community that really has me puzzled. It's one of those things where Lesbians have decided if you do not like to give oral sex then you are not a Lesbian. This confuses me and I'll tell you why...

It confuses me because there are a lot of women who do not like giving oral sex. For whatever reason they just are not feeling it. But these same women love women. They have no intentions of being with a man what so ever. Now in my mind regardless whether they like to give oral sex or not they still love women so doesn't that make them a Lesbian? I didn't realize there was a sexual prerequisite to being a lesbian. I thought to be a Lesbian meant that you loved women. I didn't realize in order to be a Lesbian you had to perform oral sex on your woman.

Here's where my confusion gets even greater... What about women who don't like having oral sex performed on them? Are they still Lesbians? I am one of those women who could do without oral sex. I really don't care for it for various reasons. One being... Not every Lesbian is good at performing oral. I don't like being slobbered on. (read "GOOD KISSING") So does that make Kari any less of a Lesbian because I don't like receiving oral sex? Hmm...

You also have "touch me not" Lesbians. These Lesbians do not want to be touched by their woman... Hence the title "touch me not"! These women prefer "pillow princesses". "Pillow princesses" are Lesbians who do not want to do any work. They want their woman to pleasure them and they do not want to be bothered with pleasing their woman. Sooo... Does that mean a "pillow princess" is not a Lesbian because she prefers to be serviced and is not feeling that servicing someone else thing? If a "pillow princess" is with a "touch me not" and their sexual relationship is perfect for them does that mean the "pillow princess" is not a Lesbian? I mean she's with a woman and they are happy with their arrangement but she doesn't give her girl oral does that mean she's not a Lesbian? I'm soooo confused!!!

Now let me give you my thoughts on this topic... I don't believe that women who don't like to give oral are any less of a Lesbian than the chick that thinks she needs to perform cunnilingus every time she has sex. If you haven't figured out there are other ways to give your woman pleasure, then you are destined for "Lesbian bed death". "Lesbian bed death" is when Lesbians no longer are sexually active on a regular basis or at all. Which in reality there are a lot of couples gay and straight who go through this phenomenon. 

If a Lesbian doesn't like performing oral on her woman it doesn't mean she is a "pillow princess". It just means she doesn't like doing it... PERIOD!!! She may be very good at other aspects of the sexual experience that you don't know about. She may do things to you that will make your toes curl and your mind explode but you'll never find out because all you heard was "I don't like giving oral." 

You know what the bigger topic is in all of this in my opinion? I'm going to tell you...
IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS WHAT SOMEONE DOES IN THEIR BEDROOM!!! 

Just because you don't agree with something that someone else does doesn't make it wrong. It just makes it DIFFERENT! Stop trying to push your ideals off on the next Lesbian because  you want to be right. Your opinion only counts in your life not in the next person's life. That's why all these fools who are newly "out" are so confused. They are hearing what they are supposed to do instead of being told to do what feels right to them. Stop judging and pushing your little narrow-minded opinions on someone else. What applies to you may not apply to the next individual...

That is all... Maybe...

GOOD KISSING...

I always wondered why individuals slobbered when they kiss. I wondered what they thought was sexy about sharing their spit. I mean I have my own spit I really don't need someone else's spit in my mouth. For me a lot hinges on the first kiss. In my head if you can't kiss then you can't do other things in bed. I know it sounds pretty ridiculous but I haven't been proved wrong yet. 

What I have noticed too is that most guys can't kiss. I've kissed a few guys in my time and I promise you only ONE could kiss properly. For those of you who went to school with me y'all wouldn't guess in a million years which guy it was... LOL! For the rest it either felt like I was having my head sucked off my shoulders or I felt like I was taking a shower. Either way UGHHHHH!!! I don't understand why my lips need to be a part of your body. And don't get me started about the shower. I'm pretty damn sure I took a damn shower before we went on the date. No need to lick my whole damn face like your tongue is a moist towelette. Oh and don't get me started with the ones that shoved their tongue down my damn throat like they were trying to taste what I had for dinner the night before. WTF... Making me fight for air and they took that as a sign to shove their damn tongue even further down my throat!!! NO... You damn fool get your tongue off my tonsils!!! 

Now I've kissed a few women in my time who could not kiss and let me tell you they were horrible in other aspects as well. When you're young though you will say "Fuck it!" to the world if you're drunk enough. Not being able to kiss is sooo... Can't even explain it rationally.

I realize that every one's idea of good kissing is subject. I kissed this chick once and almost spit after we were done but I didn't. She had so much spit in my mouth that I wanted to hurl to be honest! A buddy of mine kissed the same girl and was like "OMG she kisses awesome!" *Blank stare* In my head I wondered if it was the same girl... Then it made me wonder how my buddy kissed. Then I remembered how I wanted to spit on the girl's shoes and thought better of that wondering how my buddy kissed thing. I guess there are people out there who enjoy being slobbered on... UGHHH!!!

OK... My idea of a good kisser is first and foremost someone who doesn't slobber on me. Leave your spit in your own mouth or swallow it. I don't want it all over my face or in my mouth. I also like soft lips... Soft lips are a must! I keep lip stuff on me at all times. You will never kiss me and my lips feel like dried up worms! I also like a little bit of tongue. Operative word "LITTLE"!!! I don't need your tongue down my damn throat choking the life out of me. Everything in small doses people. A little nibbling on my lips is ok but for the love of all that is holy DO NOT bite my damn lip! I had a girl bite my lip so hard she drew blood then I wanted to punch her because I had a fat lip afterwards... WTF is that crap?!! You're not supposed to have battle scars after a kiss. Maybe after sex but NEVER after a good kiss.

I have no idea where I was going with this blog but I had to get it out...

That is all...

SLOW YOUR ROLL LADIES... SLOW YOUR ROLL

Why is it that women in the lesbian community meet a woman and in two days they are in a relationship and in about six months one of them is screaming about how she trusted this woman and she let her down? The question is rhetorical! LOL I already have an opinion and I'm about to share.

For those of you out here steady screaming about how you "needed" this woman and she let you down. Let me ask you... How long did you know this woman before you decided to be in a relationship with her? Did you actually go on dates, talk on the phone, hell even talk in person, longer than 2 days, before you decided to be in a relationship with this woman? Did you ever ask her what her goals were, if she had a job, what her future plans were... You know, the important questions you should ask a serious future woman? There are questions that will help you determine if this woman is worthy of your time and effort or if you need to cut your loses and walk away. I asked Kari so many questions she probably thought I was interrogating her and to be honest in a way I was. I needed to know if I was just wasting my time or if this woman could be in a future serious relationship.

There are also questions that they ask that should send red flags as well. Questions like "How much do you make?"... "Do you have a car?"... "Do you live on your own?" or "Do you have your own place?". These are questions that should NEVER EVER EVER be asked within the first few days of talking to one another. These questions mean they are looking for a hand out. The other red flags to look for are comments like... "I'm in between jobs but I've been looking"... "I'm in a bad situation where I'm living now"... "My car needs work". They will start dropping these little hints after they get the answers to the questions above. Don't take the bait. You will end up being the girl talking about "I trusted her and she did me wrong. I gave her everything". You're an idiot because the signs were there. I know you wanna know if I was an idiot. The answer is HELL YES... The sex was good!!! LMAO... I'm not perfect just awesome!!!

If you don't remember anything else about this blog remember this... There are 3 types of women that you will come across:
1: The woman that you should just sleep with... This woman is not a friend and she damn sure isn't relationship material but she is good for the ego. She will satisfy all those animalistic hungers that you have but she is in no way a girlfriend waiting to happen. DO NOT... I repeat DO NOT fall for this woman. You would just be falling in love with the sex game not the person.
2: The friend zone woman... You are in no way attracted to this woman but she is an awesome person. She will listen to your bullshit and give you the greatest advice. She will do and say all the things that you wish your future girlfriend would say. DO NOT... I repeat DO NOT fall for this woman because she is a friend. She is there to give support not be your future partner. Keep her in friend zone... You will need her the next time you decide to do something stupid.
3: The woman you can become serious with... This woman will go slow with you.This woman will ask all the right questions and understand you in ways even your best friend doesn't understand at times. She will be the woman that you will move heaven and earth for. This woman will take ALL of your heart and you won't even know how it happened. You will just wake up months later and realize you have no idea how you got there but you definitely don't want to leave that comfortable spot.

What it boils down to is SLOW YOUR ROLL... What's the rush? Figure out what's going to make you happy and then go and start asking questions to the women you feel you are interested in. If they get all defensive keep it moving... They aren't worth your time. If the woman is patient with you and she doesn't seem put off by your questions then keep dating her and see where it goes. This women will not be put off by you going slow. She probably will even appreciate your efforts to actually get to know her.

Before you decide to jump into another relationship think about what you want out of a relationship. Think about what you want out of your future and does the woman you are talking to fit into your future plans. Does she have the same goals and ambitions? Ask yourself if she's actually doing the things to make those ambitions a reality. Talk is cheap without action. If the woman says she wants to be in her own place, have nice things and travel yet she's sitting on the couch playing video games and has no intentions of doing anything else guess what your next course of action should be!!! If the woman is on her grown business then stick around and see what happens. I'm not saying she is the right one but at least you will be on the right track. Think about which zone she should be placed into and proceed accordingly.

It took me a long time to figure this out. I had a lot of women that should've been placed in that first zone but I decided to say "Fuck it" and put them in the wrong zone. I didn't come off a lot of money nor did I ever wonder what went wrong because I knew. Knowing is half the battle. Now I have someone who "Gets me" so bring on the future!!!

That is all...

My shoe obsession...

Ok... Kari and I have been having this discussion about my obsession with shoes and she just doesn't understand the logic behind it so I decided to help her understand. I know some of y'all can relate.

I have always worked in very physically demanding jobs and wearing nice clothes and shoes was way out of the question. I would go shopping and see nice clothes and shoes and just want to get them but what was the point when I would destroy them. Besides, it wouldn't be practical to wear nice clothes and shoes when I'm throwing mulch, dirt, toilets and that kind of freight.

I would watch these people walk into the stores dressed in their work clothes and I would be so appalled with the way that they dressed. Black belts with brown shoes drives me crazy. And havin on blue pants with a shirt that should actually go with black pants and black shoes... SMH!!! I think what drove me insane the most was when these guys would have on black shoes with white socks. Come on people... Why have on expensive ass clothes and not be able to coordinate the shoes with the outfits or the accessories with the outfits?!!

When I got promoted I realized I could start dressing like I wanted on certain days and my trip to Atlanta was like dressing up central for me. I already had the clothes and I'd be damn if I wore nice outfits with some raggedy ass shoes that didn't match my outfits. 

I love dress shoes! I will find a pair of shoes and then buy an outfit or shirt to match the shoes. I love color on shoes... Black and brown shoes have their place but every so often you have to have a little color. I searched high and low until I found a pair of blue wingtips because I have a few shirts that will match and besides they are sexy with jeans. I saw a pair of shoes in Atlanta that I had to have and made the girl hunt them down until she found my size. She was probably sick of me but guess what... Didn't give a rats I wanted my shoes! 

I have an unhealthy obsession with shoes and I have no idea why... I blame my mother!!! LMAO... The woman has about 200 pairs of shoes and if you think I'm joking next time I'm at home I'll have to take a pic just to prove my point. My brother is the same way. The dude is ridiculous and he will pay upwards of $150 on a pair of shoes and then sell them on ebay... LOL. I on the other hand will find what I like on sale but every so often I will drop over $100 if the shoes are sexy. And don't let me see a shirt that I really like... I will hunt to the ends of the earth until I find the RIGHT pair of shoes to match the shirt.

I will not lie... Even when I didn't have this job and I was throwing mulch my shoes matched what I wore. I'm obsessed with Nike Shox. I have a pair of Shox to match every hoody I own, well except my green hoody. I created a pair of Chuck Taylor's just because I didn't have a pair of shoes to match a pair of shorts I own...  I'M OBSSESSED!!!  

I have to do it... There's no rhyme or reason it just is...  I hope this helps you Pook! 

That is all...

                             

Porn...

I CAN NOT stand porn! I think that watching porn is the greatest waste of my time EVER! I just don't know the appeal. There's nothing sexy about it. It's just about pounding the female or male. The female on female porn is so damn unrealistic it makes me wonder if women actually have sex like that in real life.

I know it's supposed to be about the sex and nothing more but I like the intimacy of sex. I like the story behind how you get to the intimate part. "If these walls could talk 2" had one of the most intimate and sexy sex scenes I have seen in a long time. I want to see the actual foreplay and the kissing... That's what I think is sexy about a sex scene. Not some girl having to hock a loogie on her partner because she hasn't either gotten her turned on enough or she can't keep her turned on enough to keep her wet. I wish someone would hock a loogie on me... OH MY GOD!!! I would come so unhinged on her it would NOT be funny!

I always wondered what someone gets out of porn. What is it that gets someone going off of porn? I mean the noises aren't even realistic, the slapping of body parts together, the fact that half the time they can't even find the damn hole. I mean what is it? And then theres's the actual ejaculation...

I watched this girl on girl porn with one of my exes and half way through the show this chick "came" and I swore she pissed on the other girl!I was like "What the fuck just happened? Rewind that!" The girl actually just squirted but I was so disgusted by it I was done with porn after that. Now that I've seen it in person I think it's pretty HOT! But still...

OK back to ejaculation... Who in their right mind would let some guy pull out and then spew all over their face? I mean are you out of your ever loving mind with that crap? And then there's the getting it from behind scene and the guy spews all over her back... Is he going to wash her back when they are done? I can't reach my back like that without a brush. There's no way in hell that would ever happen. And don't get me started on the blow job scenes... UMMM NEVER!!! I would bite his shit off doin some nasty shit like that... Getting eye infections and shit cuz some idiot producer thinks it's hot for some dude to spew in her face.

Someone please explain why porn is a turn on... I just don't get it!

That is all...

Winter cuddle buddy time is upon us...

Well it's about that time of the year again when it gets cold and we are determined to find that "cuddle buddy" for the winter. Have you found yours? For those of you who live in warmer climates you may not understand the need for a "winter cuddle buddy".  So let me explain...

If you do not live in an area where the climate get's bitter cold, gloomy and simply put down right depressing you have no idea how important having a "winter cuddle buddy" can be. When the days get way too short and the weather outside makes you want to hibernate, having that person you can come home to and just put your cold body up against and feel their body heat... There's nothing quite like it.

When the weather is so crappy outside and going out to the club is just not about to happen but you don't want to be alone because it's just too damn depressing to be home by yourself, you will be wishing for that warm body. Someone you can just snuggle up with and watch a marathon of NCIS or SVU. You need that someone who can make the depressing long winter night not feel so long. You need that person who will just be there to make it easier to bare the fact that summer will not be coming around for several long agonizing brutal months.

It is interesting to watch the jockeying for "cuddle buddy's" around September and October. You don't want to get a "cuddle buddy" too soon because it's still warm enough to get that last summer fling in. However, you don't want to lose that one woman you have been keeping your eye on just for the "cuddle buddy" season. Getting a "cuddle buddy" is like the last call in the bar... You want to get the number of the girl you chatted with at the beginning of the night but you want to take home the girl you were basically screwing on the dance floor. Now you just have to figure out how to get your number to the girl you want to continue talking to without losing sight of the one you just want to sleep with. (I know I'm going to have to write a Blog about this because Kari will want to understand how you will make that happen... Curious minds want to know... LMAO!!!)

Now remember I called this the "winter cuddle buddy" because after the winter is getting ready to come to an end so will this "cuddle buddy" arrangement. DO NOT for one minute think this is a relationship. It is only to occupy the lonely winter nights, not a long term relationship. Don't get all in your feelings when your "cuddle buddy" says it's time to move onto the summer singledom... It's coming so be prepared! The only way you will survive the "winter cuddle buddy" status is if... NOPE theres's not going to be a survival tactic, you are a MEMORY!!! Just saying...

That is all...

Bisexual woman vs "Curious" woman

Kari is forever talkin to me about bisexuality. She says that she thought at one point she was bisexual and that's all great and fine but I wouldn't have dated her if she were bisexual. She asked me why I wouldn't have dated her and I told her there were several reasons why I wouldn't date a bisexual woman.

I'm sure my reasonings have been echoed throughout the Lesbian community. It is what it is... So here goes...
I figured I couldn't trust a bisexual woman because she would always end up leaving me for a guy. I am the type of person who can not be in a relationship without trust and if I can't trust you then there's not going to be a relationship.

The dating thing also was a problem for me... Like if I were just "dating" this woman and she's also dating a guy. In the back of my mind she has slept with him every time they are together and that actually goes for women I've dated who are Lesbians. The thought of the woman I am "dating" sleeping with someone else is repulsive, especially if it's a guy!!! Sorry guys!

I also didn't want to be someone's experiment unless I wanted to be an experiment. And my ex used me as an experiment, telling me after the fact "Well I tried it and it wasn't for me." *blank stare* "Bitch, you couldn't tell me that shit before we got together?!!" Just saying!

After talking to Kari and her buddies the other day it dawned on me that it's not bisexual women that are the problem. The problem isn't "true" bisexual women, the problem is "curious" women posing as bisexual women.

I call bisexuality "free love". I believe there are people out there who truly love a person for who they are, not for their gender. I believe these people can fall for a man or a woman equally. I believe that bisexual people see past the outer shell and see through to the person's heart whether male or female. Curious women pose as bisexual because they are either confused about their sexuality or they want to experiment on the other side of the fence. I do not believe bisexual people are confused I believe they just don't care about gender.

I realized that "curious" women kill it for bisexual women. If Kari was a bisexual woman who happened to fall for me I wouldn't have given her the time of day. That would've been a serious mistake on my part because she is an amazing person. However, the fact that I got so screwed over by a woman who  says "I tried it and it wasn't for me", I would've never found out that Kari was an amazing person if she were bisexual.

I'm all for women being curious. If you want to see what all the hype is about by all means experiment away. This is the only thing that I would ask and that is that you get with someone who wants to be used as a guinea pig. There are plenty of women who LOVE to turn straight girls out. They live their whole life to do nothing but be a guinea pig. Don't use someone who you know is attracted to you as a science experiment because they may miss out on their future because your selfish ass "Tried it and it wasn't for you."

I don't know how bisexual women can get past the stigma that has been placed upon them. All I can say is that if you are actually into a woman and she's fighting it with everything she is worth, then you need to just give her time. She has got to be able to see that you are serious about her and aren't just there to play with her heart. She's gotta see that you were in it for the long haul, not just using her as a guinea pig until you find the "dick" that will capture your attention.

That is all...

My opinion... My Blog

I think I need to clarify a couple few things about my blogging habits. First of all I am not here to give advice. What I blog about is every day situations that I find interesting and have an opinion about. I'm not a therapist by any means so I'm not tryin to figure anybody out. It took me long enough to figure myself out.

I do not give advice unless someone asks for my advice on a topic. Fair warning... If you ask my advice be prepared to get a real answer and not that sugar coated bullshit you get from your "Advice Hustling" friends. I don't have time to be stroking your ego because you wanna be right about something knowing you're wrong. If that's what you're looking for PLEASE find someone else to ask. 

I am not your therapist so don't expect me to cure what ails your mind. I will listen to you all day if that's what you want and I'll give my advice if solicited but I can not cure you. Hell what I tell you about yourself may not be what you want or need at the time so you just might wanna go find a real therapist. I don't want to be responsible for you goin off the deep end and killin someone.

I do not use my blog to bestow advice upon anyone. I blog because I enjoy doin it and it amuses me sometimes. I blog because I've seen or heard a comment or post that I found to be absolutely asinine so I'll blog my two cents. Or I've seen an article that made me think really hard about our society. If what I blog pisses people off, makes someone smile or makes just one person rethink some things or maybe look at things in a different light or even shed some light on my thinking then I have done my due justice to the world.

If for some reason you do not like what I blog then by all means please comment with an intelligent arguement. If you are just goin to be ignorant with your responses remember this... ITS MY BLOG and you do not have to read MY BLOG!!! 

That is all...

Lesbian police!

I am trying to figure out why the lesbian community is so hell bent on pigeon holing every lesbian. Who are you to say a fem can't date a fem or that it's gross for "studs" to be together. If we are having individuals from the community questioning the preference of another, how are we going to ever educate straight people? Who the hell are you anyway the "Lesbian police"? 

I'm pretty sure I am a better judge of my own preference of women than the next person. I really do know what I find attractive and if it's another "stud" then guess what... I will date a "stud"!!! I don't give a rats ass what you think, you don't have to date me and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be attracted to your judgmental ass anyway! 

If a fem dates another fem some of the community don't even take the relationship serious. Some can't understand what 2 feminine women do for one another. UMMM... Jackass it's 2 WOMEN! "Women" would be the operative word, which last time I checked that still made you a Lesbian.

And God forbid 2 studs are together... You'd swear up and down the world has started to rotate in the wrong direction on its axis! Are we serious with this kind of ignorant thinking?!! Why is it an abomination that 2 women, who both just happen to dress like a guy, are together? If they are comfortable in their own skin why are you sweating them? Maybe you need to do a self check and make sure you are comfortable in your own skin. And while you're at it possibly ask yourself why it makes a difference... They are still 2 WOMEN! Oh and by the way they're probably happier in their relationship than you are in yours because they are minding their own damn business! (Lol had to throw that in)

Our community is made up of very diverse women with very diverse tastes. Some of us love women of a different race. Some of us like fluffy women and some don't. Some of us want to take care of our women and some of us want an equal relationship. There are some who love to explore every avenue of sex and there are those of us who would be considered prudish. There are those of us who hate using a strap and those of us who will wear them around like they were born with it. Our tastes are so all over the board and yet we try to put stipulations and guidelines on what it means to be a Lesbian.

 Someone said the other day that if you don't like to do oral sex then you aren't a Lesbian... *Blank stare* Does that also mean a straight woman or even a straight man that doesn't like to give oral sex isn't straight? I mean how much sense does that really make in retrospect? So does that mean because I don't like to use a strap that I'm not a Lesbian even though I'm very good in other ways? When you say it out loud it sounds really ignorant if you ask me. Especially when many Lesbians don't even like oral sex... Does that make them any less of a Lesbian because they don't like oral sex or is it just the giver that's not a Lesbian? I'm very confused... Please explain this to me like I'm a 2yr old! (I'll be waiting on a response)

STOP JUDGING!!! If a person is happy with their choices and preferences in life, who are we to judge them for "their" choices? Who are we to say that only this type of woman or this type of thinking or this type of relationship makes you a Lesbian? I happen to find more feminine women attractive but it doesn't mean that I don't find bois, studs or stems attractive. I think that some have pretty eyes or a nice butt or whatever it is and if I were attracted to them physically what is the problem with that... She's still a woman. 

We need to start embracing one another as Lesbians and stop trying to play the "Lesbian Police". Just because someone's relationship does not fit into your stereotypical view of what a "Lesbian" relationship should look like doesn't make them any less of a Lesbian. Or their relationship any less valid. Sometimes the square peg and the round hole fit perfectly together...

That is all... 

Over staying your welcome...

There is visiting etiquette. Can you over stay your welcome? UMMM... YES!!! I'm going to help you people understand how this "visiting etiquette" works. 

If you are visiting a friend and staying in their house you need to abide by the "visiting etiquette". You need to leave in the timeframe that was discussed before you got to their house. Don't assume that because you are there that you can stay as long as you feel like it. No, you need to get the hell out as soon as your time is up. 

If there is no timeframe on the visit then there is still "visiting etiquette" on that too. If you are in a room that has a TV in it you do not monopolize the family TV all of the time. You do not fall to sleep in the family room because maybe just maybe the family will want to watch TV in that room. You also do not leave your crap in the family room like it's your house. Your crap should be stored in "your" room. Along with you... And while you're in "your" room make sure that it is clean. Don't go acting like it's your room when you were a teenager... Clean it up!

You do not dirty up dishes and leave them for others to clean up. As a matter of fact you should be doing the dishes and other housework considering you are not paying bills. If you are not contributing to the house then the least and I mean very least you can do is clean up after yourself.

You should not leave your clothes in the washer or dryer because again maybe just maybe someone else may need to do their laundry. Oh and that's another thing... If you are doing laundry at your hosts house then you should buy your own laundry products. Do not use up all of their laundry products and then wait for them to buy more. That's just triflin!

You should not expect your host to pay your way or pay for anything EVER!!! They did not take you to raise they are just giving you a place to stay. If they go out you should not expect them to invite you nor should you just assume that you are invited. Maybe just maybe they want to have a night to themselves and your ass should stay "home". They are not responsible for entertaining you! 

What it amounts to is that if you are invited to stay with someone don't take it as an invitation to become a roommate. You are a guest and as a guest you should act as such. Don't over stay your welcome and even if they say "Oh it's ok"... No it's not OK. Get the hell out of their house!!!

That is all...

Pray on it...

Ok here goes...

I was talking to my brother a few years ago and I'll never forget this question...

Lil brother: If you were in the presences of God right now what would you ask him?

Me: I have all kinds of shit to ask him. I hope he has a few hours.

Lil brother: He doesn't have time to talk to you! HE has more important things to do than to have a conversation with you...

Me: Then why do we pray? If he doesn't have time then what is the purpose of prayer? That would mean that he isn't hearing prayers right?

Lil brother: Good point... You're right.

I'm not a huge religious person. I do believe there is a higher being but I struggle with a lot especially when I look at the churches. I know it's not all churches and I know there are bad seeds in every bunch. However, all I see is the bad stuff. All I see is the hate and the judgement. I thought we weren't supposed to judge but to do our very best to be the best person we can be. None of us is perfect and I know I'm far from it but I try to do the best I can. I also know it's not the deeds that make you a good person but how you are as a person. We should not do good deeds in order to go to a better place but do them because it's the right thing to do. 

I know people ask for prayers and I understand. What I don't understand is when bad things happen the first thing I hear is "All we can do is pray on it". People are out here shooting and we know someone knows who is doing the shooting and all we can do is "Pray on it"? How about we do something about it. How about we stop pretending we don't know what's going on in the community. We know when Jamal is creeping on his woman, we know when Kay is out at the club, what she's wearing and what she drank, we even know when Mr and Mrs Jones last had sex but we don't know who shot up the car down the street. *BLANK STARE* STOP PRAYIN and turn that fool in!!!

I read a book called "A Child Called It", where a boy's mother had abused him for years while the father sat back and watched it happen. This child was tortured on a daily basis by his mother while she coddled her other two sons. Explain to me how as a parent you can stand by and watch your child being tortured and do absolutely nothin. I mean did the man think if he prayed hard enough it would stop? I'm sure his son prayed every night his father would do something or at least the abuse would stop. It took a teacher to finally step up and help that little boy.

"Praying on it..." only goes so far. At some point action is in order! At some point we have to say "Let's make a difference." I'm ok with prayer but while you're praying take action to help the situation. You can't be struggling financially and think that you can "pray" the bills away. You know a child is being abused, you can "pray on it" all you want but that isn't going to stop that child from being abused if there isn't any action to go along with that prayer. And hoping someone will finally help in a bad situation is a horrible strategy! I was told several times "Hope is not a strategy when action is needed". 

So while I think there is a time and a place for prayer there is also a time and a place for action. We have to know when to do which...

That is all...

"Advice Hustlers"...

There are very few people in my life that I'll ask advice from. They are people I know will give me real answers even when I don't want to hear the truth. They are people who have lived life and have figured themselves out so that their lives are better. I can trust that these people have my best interest at heart and won't steer me wrong. They are people I know have gone through what I am going through and will speak intelligently about the subject because they have learned from their mistakes. They do not give advice unless I ask because they know that I'm not going to listen until I am ready to learn from my mistakes.

I have adopted the attitude that IDGAF what people think lately. I have watched these "Advice Hustlers" give advice about topics they have no business even havin their nose in. They take it upon themselves to throw their 2 cents in when it wasn't even needed nor wanted. They see or hear about someone going through a situation and before the person can even work through their issue this fool is already giving advice. The person could just be having a bad day and the "Advice Hustlers" are all in the business. Damn... Can't I have a bad day?!!

I was chattin with one of my buddies about LDR's and this idiot pipes up and says "That's why I wouldn't be in a long distance relationship." *Blank stare* and the idiot continued with "She's probably cheating on you anyway." Of course I spoke without thinking  "Who the fuck asked you? I don't recall asking your opinion and why are you all over here in this convo? Mind your fuckin business!" I probably could've handled it better but I'm tired of ear hustling, advice giving, in every bodies business morons! And I wasn't even in an LDR at the time. We were just chattin about them.

The thing that grates my nerves the most about "Advice Hustlers" is it's always the person who has major issues in their own life, that wants to give the advice. Why in the world would I take advice from someone who doesn't have their shit together? Are you insane? If I'm already having a problem I don't need advice from someone who doesn't have their shit together.

Let's work on some examples:
Relationship advice is a common example...
If you have bounced from relationship to relationship and haven't figured out that the common denominator in your failed relationships is you and your bad choices; If you are in a relationship where you are taking care of a dead beat or you are the dead beat; If you are in a relationship and your partner is cheating and all you do is bitch about it but continue to stay... Then you are exempt from giving relationship advice! When you have gotten your shit together then you are allowed to speak on the subject again.

Finances is another common example:
If you can not keep your lights on, rent paid, car payment kept up because the new Jordan's came out; If your recreational habits are more important than clothing your child; If playing video gamers or hangin with your homies is more important than going to work... Then you are exempt from giving financial advice! Why would you even want to open your mouth? I mean what could you possibly contribute... OH WAIT... What NOT to do financially?!!

How to raise kids is my last one but not the least:
If your kids are running around cussing you and everyone else out; If your kids can't spell or barely read; If your kids are basically running your household... You should be the very last person giving any advice on how to raise a child! Actually why would you even fit your lips to begin to tell someone how to raise a child or what they are doin wrong? NEVER EVER EVER give advice!!!

All I'm saying is before you open your mouth to give advice make sure you have been asked first and foremost. Then make sure you can speak intelligently on the subject and make sure you have all the facts. Ask a few intelligent questions of your own because even your friends can be in the wrong. Don't uphold your friends in their bullshit. If you are a good friend and aren't just an "advice hustler" you will be honest with your friends even if they don't want to hear it. And if they don't want to hear the truth then they shouldn't have asked for advice.

That is all...

Male identified woman and guy thinking is not so different...

Kari and I were having a discussion about a show she was watching...
Kari: The girl was crazy. And the stud let her back in the house, even after she stalked her on the phone all afternoon.
Me: Was she hot?
Kari: Uh... Not really.
Me: Did she have a nice body?
Kari: Yes.
Me: Well, there ya go
Kari: Really? Really?!! Have I been giving studs too much credit all this time?

Well... It's Kari so yes she has been giving studs too much credit about a lot of things. Ladies let me explain this very simply. Whether you are straight, lesbian or bi pay attention because this is how we think. Guys and male identified women are pretty much the same. We are so simple it's ridiculous! We don't want much and for the most part don't ask for much. We normally are not overthinking anything. We like what we like and we will go after it like we were hunting and gathering.

Now let's start with the letting a girl back into the house even tho she's crazy thing:
If we had sex, with a nice looking girl with an amazing body, and it was good. We don't give a shit if she is crazy because we are thinking about sleeping with her again not the fact that she is crazy. We will deal with that crazy bitch until we have decided we are tired of her craziness, which could last for months... LMAO!!!  Now if the girl sucks in bed you better believe we will be trying to figure out ways to get rid of her before we even finish having sex. Just saying ladies!

Let's discuss sports for a moment:
Yes most of us like sports. I am a fanatic when watching the 49ers! I will scream at the TV and act a fool when they do something stupid i.e. the Super Bowl. However, I will give my woman attention during commercials. I don't even mind her asking me questions, just not too many. I will get up during commercials to get my own beer or even have a cooler beside me. I really don't need her to do anything for me during the game cause I'll do it for myself during commercials. Here's the thing though... If you are one of those attention whore type of women PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE save that shit for after the game!!! Don't ask stupid questions like... "Don't you love me" because as much as I love you I'm loving my team more at the moment or "Don't you want me" well of course I want you but I want my team to win more at that moment... Ladies we will give you all the attention you want after the game is over. Our attention span is only so long when our sporting event is on and all that extra crap you are spewing is not being heard unless there's a commercial or the game is over. Please keep that in mind! We love you and want you we just can't focus on that when our team is playing.

Kari question "Why is it ok that you collect shoes. Yet I can't collect nail polish, make up, lip balm? How come that is silly shit? But you can stalk a mall for shoes... But if I go get nail polish you're all like 'you got too many'..." She was on a roll! LMAO:
Here's my answer... I wear ALL of my shoes woman! I have a pair of shoes to match every outfit that I own. You on the other hand have 56 bottles of nail polish that look all alike!!! You have over 800 bottles of nail polish and yet you need more of the same color? The only thing that has changed about nail polish is the name because the colors are all the same. There's not a rhyme or reason for it and on top of that you DON'T wear an 1/8th of them. They are so old the dust on the bottles have given birth and the contents is no longer nail polish it has formed into a science experiment... LMAO!!! And I know you are hating me right now but I'M RIGHT!!!

I could go on all day and I am sure there are a lot of other things you would like to know. If you'd like to get a real answer just ask me and I'll tell you the truth... Don't be scared to ask. I'm full of good info and remember there are no stupid questions...

Waiting for your questions...