My damn chair...

       

Let me explain to you how much I LOVE my chair... I love it more than almost anything and anybody. I have wanted this chair for a few years now. I couldn't bring myself to buy my chair because it was expensive and my thought process at the time was "I could use that money elsewhere". However, this year I decided screw it I'm getting my damn chair. I pondered and debated in my head about my chair before I bought it and got some flack from my geeps about buying my chair but the comfort that my butt decided it needed won out. I bought my chair!

The weekend that I bought my chair I sat outside with iPad and coffe in hand listening to music and watching the world go by... In my chair. My chair was so comfortable that my back and butt didn't complain at all after sitting in my chair for hours. Even my Geeps tried out my chair but he couldn't get it to work so of course he wasn't impressed with my chair. It's not his chair so it wasn't meant for his comfort... Lol stay away from the chair Geeps! 

As I was planning my trip to the lake to visit Kari my chair was a source of many conversations. I needed to make a list of things I needed to bring and of course my chair was the first thing on the list. Not like I was going to forget my chair without a list but it's importance was solidified by being first on the list. Kari made fun of me several times and even commented on the conversations where my chair wasn't brought up in conversation I told her "Trust me just because I didn't bring it up doesn't mean it wasn't in the back of my mind. My chair shall be at the lake." The weekend before I was to start vacation I was sitting outside, in my chair, with my Geeps and on the phone with Kari. The topic of my chair was brought up... I said "Have I mentioned how much I love my chair?!!" Geeps and Kari both at the same time say "Everybody knows how much you love your chair!" Lmao... "They should and if they don't they will." 

Needless to say my chair is here at the lake chillin. Kari has made it a point to tell EVERYBODY in her family about my chair. As soon as I got to the lake everyone asked me if I brought my chair and I should put a sign on my chair warning people away from my chair. Lmao I should... "Warning: this is Jay's chair! If you sit in my chair you may suffer severe consequences including and not limited to death!" 

       

That is all... My chair!!!

Friends...

My mom always said that in order to get better sometimes you have to let go of some people... "It's not that they aren't or haven't been an important part of your life but if they are staying stagnate then so are you." This piece of advice didn't sink in until a few years ago when I moved to Omaha. I was hanging with a group of people who were fun to party with but a year went by and a handful of us were slowly getting our lives together and a lot more were still doing the same old things. Still wanting to party but had no money to party with or a car to get to the party. Always "borrowing" from those of us who were getting it together. 

I have very few close friends because I don't think you need a ton of "friends" to validate your exsistance in the world. Not everyone you befriend can be trusted, therefore some people should not be considered a "close" friend. I think all people can be put into 4 categories:

1~ Close friend... Someone you don't have to see or talk to on a regular basis but you know if you need them for whatever reason they are always there... No questions asked no explanations needed.

2~ Friends... People I have known for years and can see in a bar hang out with and catch up but they wouldn't be the first person you go to if you needed something.

3~ Aquaintence... Someone you can party with but that's about it. You don't trust them as far as you can throw them but they're good when you need to have a good time.

4~ People who rub you wrong... There are people you meet that you instantly can't stand. There is something about them that you just can't put your finger on but you know they will never ever be in your circle unless you are forced to have them around for whatever reason (ie. work).

I think people need to realize when they've outgrown an individual... It would make their life a lot more peaceful. Either your friends need to grow as you grow or they need to be left behind and you need to find people who are on the same page or a few pages ahead so they can help you better yourself. Nothing wrong with revisiting but remember they aren't where you want to be...

The rain...

    

                                   

Apparently Mother Nature had her own ideas of what I needed to relax on vacation. I have been watching the rain fall for the last couple days. I'm feeling more relaxed by the minute.

                  To just watch the rain fall is one of the most peaceful things in the world...

    

That is all...

Special guests

Kari's family had a huge party Friday night. There was a ton of people and to everyone's surprise we ended up with some adorable yet stinky little guests... 

There were 4 of these little guys just chillin headed to the steps of the party. Apparently they needed beer, food and shots!!!

Old fashioned... PS no bodily functions

I realized that I am really enjoying the old fashioned way of dating. I am very comfortable with not kissing on the first date and definitely not having sex until the time is right. I like the idea of getting to know someone on an emotional and spiritual level before knowing them on a physical level. I think as a whole I have jumped into some physical relationships thinking it was deeper when in actuality it was just physical confusion. 

I swore to myself I'd stay celibate until I was 100% sure that the person I was dating was that right person. Not that I thought I'd ever be 100% sure but I wanted to have a very good idea about the direction the relationship was goin, which meant I was going to get to know the person on an emotional level come hell or high water. Thus far I have accomplished my goal.

I met Kari in an unorthodox way... Well I guess it isn't really unorthodox any longer. I met her on a page I liked on FB. I had "met" several women that way and they all were the source of my amusement over the course of a year. Then I met Kari and I just assumed she would amuse me until I was bored and then I'd delete her too. I was pleasantly surprised when we were able to hold a conversation longer than 10 minutes without me saying some smartass comment and pissing her off... On purpose of course lol! We talked for hours on end for months. I asked so many damn questions I should've scared her off and if the question asking didn't scare her off the constant telling her of my insane habits should have but like a glutton for punishment she stuck around. I'm glad she did.

The hardest thing, which has also been a good thing, is that we are in an LDR. We have seen each other in person a couple times now and I have yet to kiss her. Every time we see each other it's like I'm meeting someone for the first or second time even though we are constantly on the phone, face timing or texting. I mean I know more about her than almost anyone I have ever dated yet I feel like if I make a move on her it would be too soon. I have no idea why I feel this way but it feels right. I feel like I am not in any hurry because I have a lifetime with her. I know she probably feels like I don't like her or I'm still contemplating whether I want to be with her but in all actuality I'm just comfortable in her presence and feel no need to rush. 

I feel that everything will happen when it's supposed to happen and not before. I am very ok with that idea.

That is all...

Oh by the way not bodily functions as of yet... Let me tell you how bummed I am lol

Mosquitoes the size of my head...

Last night as we were entering the cabin down the way from the house we were met as soon as we got out of the car by a swarm of blood thirsty beasts. These little monsters were relentless. For every step to the door we took we received about 10 bites some of which we didn't realize we had until this morning. Kari made the comment that she had bites in places she didn't think mosquitoes could reach. Hmmm... Sounds like they were getting up close and personal with Pook... LMAO!!! 

So I'm sitting outside on the deck enjoying the view but mostly the quiet and these mosquitoes are swarming like a mass of locust. They are buzzing in my ear like they are trying to tell me a secret... A very loud secret! Initially I thought it was Kari being funny but nope it was a friggin mosquito which I thought I should name since it wanted to be so intimate with me. I haven't had the chance to kill it yet so figured I shall name her... Mmmm Bertha. Bertha sounds like a good name for a mosquito. Bertha is trying to die at the moment because as much as I enjoy a good secret I do not enjoy someone or something sucking my blood and leaving itchy spots on my body.  I'd take a pic of Bertha but she will not sit still long enough for me to do so... She's not a stupid mosquito. I'm sure she has figured out that if she lands my picture taking idea will shoot out the window and my killer instinct will kick into effect.

As beautiful as it may seem it produces some blood thirsty beasts of burden...

Vacation

First of all I got a late jump on my travel plans this morning. However, I made it in no time. I love seeing speed limit signs that read 75mph. Why in the hell do they have slow limit signs that say 40mph? If your ass is driving that slow then you really need to stick to frontage or side roads. Been done got someone killed! 

Well I'm off to watch them play Trivial Pursuit. I shall be amused and entertained. I'll be picture blogging for the next few days.  

Stay tuned...

Have to take a moment...

I have to take a moment to get it together. I'm beyond excited about my upcoming vacation! You have no idea how awesome the place is that I'll be staying at... AMAZING!!! On top of everything else my new job will be a good experience. It's getting me out of my comfort zone and I think I'll learn a lot. So my week has started off very good and my week ending will just be topping on the perverbial cake! Let me show you why:

Blowing your nose

There has got to be some kind of etiquette when it comes to blowing your nose. Like take your ass to the bathroom to do it! If you just can't make it to the restroom leave the room where people are eating. Why is it as soon as I start eating someone decides to blow their damn nose? Usually it's when I'm eating something with the texture of the sounds coming from your friggin nose. Hence the reason I don't eat raisens! 

I was sitting in the breakroom the other day and I was just about to take a bite of my baked beans and this fool decides to blow his nose. Take that shit to another room! I'm looking at those baked beans, which I know are delicious, but I couldn't bring myself to eat them at that given time. So I'm like "Dude you're fuckin killin me! Why can't you do that nasty shit somewhere else? People are eating." Him "Sorry Jay I just had to blow my nose." I'm just damn disgusted "Do that shit somewhere else when people are eating. That's just ridiculous!" One down several to go...

I was chatting with Kari about this one day and she brought up the fact that people blow their nose in a handkerchief. That shit is nasty and worse than blowing in a tissue because at some point you have to wash that damn thing. I would be so pissed if someone washed their buggar soaked handkerchief in with my clothes. Dried up buggars getting washed in with my clothes and you know once they're in the wash they're no longer dry. Now I have buggars all over my clean clothes! Then I put these buggar filled clothes in the dryer and now I have baked on caked on buggars on my clean clothes... I'll pass! Keep your nasty ass handkerchiefs to yourself!!!

I CANT TAKE IT!!! Have some common courtesy when doin your nasty habits. Not everyone is ok with your disgusting blowing the nose habits. Especially in public places where I'm paying for my food. How is it you can go to a nice restaurant and blow your damn nose over a plate of expensive food? I really don't understand. Not only are you runining an expensive plate of goodness but you are ruining my plate of expensive goodness by listening to your nasty ass blowing your nose. Honestly I don't care if I'm sittin in McDonalds I don't want to hear you blow your damn nose! Get your lazy ass up and go to the bathroom!!! I wanna drop kick their nasty ass into the bathroom truth be told... Smh just ridiculous!!!

That is all...

Who's the man

Why would you ask a lesbian couple "Who's the man in the relationship?" I know you see a lot of couples where there's a more feminine woman and a masculine identified woman together but the operative word is "lesbian", which the last time I checked "lesbians" were women who love women. 

There are lesbians that take on that more masculine role however not all masculine identified women take that role. I'm not going to sit around being hungry until my "woman" gets home because I decided to take on the "male" role. How stupid would I look like getting home before Kari, she walks in the door and I ask her what's for dinner... What do I look like sitting around the house while the dishes need washed or the floor needs to be vacuumed waiting on my "woman" to get home to take care of those household chores because she's the "woman"?!! I'd look like a hungry damn fool that's what I'd look like! 

That's like me asking a hetero couple who's the man in the relationship if the woman works and the guy is a stay at home dad... Lmao now that would be kinda funny! As funny as it would be, is it relevant? Umm... I'd say NOT! What difference does it make who does what? It's all relative because all housework has to get done. Does it really matter who does it? I know a lot of femme women who love to mow so does that make them the "man"? I think not! I love to cook so does that mean I'm taking on the "woman" role? Think about that for a moment... Yes FOOOL cause I am a woman... LOL STOP PLAYING!!! 

If you are asking that question in regards to the sexual aspect that's another blog ;-) Trust me I'll get there. 

That is all...

"Liking" question posts... Stop the madness!!!

I'm looking through my FB and I have seen several posts asking a question and someone likes the post. *confused* What is the point of "liking" a question post? I mean isn't the point of asking a question to get an answer? If you have the same question then shouldn't you wait for someone who has an intelligent answer then "like" that comment? Why the hell are you "liking" the question?!!

Post: Does anyone know how to build a bridge? (14 likes)

You're "liking" this crap and you don't even know why. What if the person wants to bury a dead body under the bridge?!! I mean what the hell are you "liking" that post for? Are you liking the post because you know how to build the bridge? What... Why are you "liking" the post? And if you know how to build the damn bridge or know someone who does then comment.

That's the other thing... If you know how to do whatever is asked why don't you comment instead of "like"? How in the hell does someone know you can do whatever is asked if you are just "liking" the post? Then you want to inbox me saying "You must've found someone who knew how to build a bridge." I'm normally confused by the inboxes so I'm like "No the bridge isn't built yet." They respond with an even dumber question "Well then why didn't you inbox me?" At this point I have the dumb dog look on my face "Why in the hell would I inbox you? You never said you knew how!" Then the dumbest comment ever "Well I "liked" your post." Ummm... Now I just wanna cuss you out!!!

Stop the damn madness!

Ok that is my vent for today ;-)

That is all...

Feet

Again I got distracted from my original blog topic but I had to put this out there...

I have a huge aversion to feet... HUGE!!! I think feet are the ugliest part of the human body. There are some that are better than others but for the most part feet are just gross to me. I don't want your feet on me or near me. What's funny is I'm quick to put my cold ass feet on my partner in the winter. Lol I don't care if it's not fair, it's funny!

 I wish I could make people who like to walk barefoot or wear flip flops check their feet at the door in restaurants where I'm eating. I was at this place picking up an order when I just happened to look down and this woman's feet almost made me gag! I mean her feet looked like she had dug the Grand Canyon with her feet! This woman's feet were GREY! She would've needed a damn road scraper to get all the dried.... OMG GAGGING!!! There isn't enough lotion in the universe to help those dry and crusty feet! I bet when she gets home she wants to put those things on her partner... I would throw a stroke!  Why in the hell would you come out the house with those things showing? Do you have no shame? Apparently she had no shame nor lotion.

I was at work one day and I was helping this dude and again I just happened to look down... WTF? This dudes toe nails were... How do I describe this ridiculousness?!! First of all if you're going to wear flip flops invest in nail clippers, 9 inch nails is a band not a damn way to keep your toe nails. CUT THAT SHIT! If you can dig a damn trench with your toe nails it's time to cut them. Second if your feet are black as hell and the rest of you is damn near the color of powder... Do I really need to say more? Apparently I do because this fool didn't get the memo. All I can say is maybe invest in work boots. Dude probably goes home and doesn't even wash them crusty bastards. Got his nasty ass feet all over the furniture.

Last but definitely not least... If your toe nails are black, crusty and look like tree bark, they make medication for that now. You don't even have to have a prescription they sell that shit right over the counter. Stop walking out of the house in flip flops making the neighbors dog think you are throwing a tree branch at it every time you take a step. Makes me think of that movie where the guy turned into a tree, starting at his damn toe nails. Maybe it was a cartoon... Lol whatever you get the point. I bet y'all nasty ass put your feet on your partner too. Just nasty! 

I have no idea what my point was... OH YEA!!! Kari if you ever get any ideas that I will rub your feet, think again Pook! It probably won't happen unless I'm drunk or if you just get out of the shower and that's pushing it. If you ever think that it's cute to put your feet on me while we are watching a movie please think twice, you may end up on the floor. I'll drop you like I just saw the biggest spider ever! Just fair warning... LMAO!!! 

That is all...

Should I stay

I see the question "should I stay?" asked in many different situations. I understand getting someone else's opinion but ultimately it's up to you whether you stay or not. It's up to you how many times you can take banging your head into a wall before you realize it hurts. None of us likes to fail and I believe that's why we stay far longer than we should. Even when our gut tells us it's time to go we make excuses for the other person why we should stay. 

I am no exception. The reason I had to self reflect and soul search was because I chose to hang onto a relationship that I knew months before was spiraling in the wrong direction. I made excuse after excuse about why it was not going well. I explained away in my head the uneasy feelings that I was having and I let my fear of failure keep me in a relationship that was unhealthy and unproductive. I stayed with a person who didn't deserve the things I was trying to accomplish in life nor the things I was doing for her. I stayed because in my heart she wasn't as bad as my head and my gut were telling me. I was engaged for Gods sake and she wouldn't have said "Yes" if she weren't serious... Right?

I knew long before the break up that she was not who I should've been engaged to or in a relationship. I knew things were not right but I wouldn't let myself let go. I was hanging onto a thread of hope that it was just nerves and that things would get back to where they used to be but I knew better. I knew there was no way we were going back. I started to resent the ground she walked on. I would look at her and be so disgusted that I'd have to look away. Her whole attitude and behavior were just disgusting to me. She was disgusting to me! How did I fool myself into thinking this individual was wife material? I basically slammed my head against a wall for months before I realized it hurt. I allowed myself to be manipulated, lied to, cheated on and down right used! I allowed myself to be sucked into a world that was unhealthy and I let it happen out of fear of failure. 

I could blame her for everything. I could pon off all the failure on her because she said "Yes"... But why?!! I knew! I knew deep down that it wasn't working. I knew months before the break that we were done. I knew that I was not going to marry this girl because she was not for me. She was not the "one". I knew and yet I stayed. I chose not to let her go long before it got out of hand. I talked with several people and yet I still stayed. I asked their opinion knowing that I wouldn't leave. I made excuses for staying... I made excuses for her behavior. Basically I made excuses for my fear of failure. I rammed my head into the fucking wall more times than I want to admit! 

So you can ask the question "Should I stay?" and you will get a slew of opinions crossing the gamut. It won't matter because until you realize that slamming your head against a brick wall hurts, you will continue to make excuses. You will continue to stay out of fear of failure. What we fail to realize is that leaving a toxic relationship is not failure. All it is is a hard lesson learned.

That is all...

The words won't come

Today is just one of those days where the words are not coming to me. I have a lot of things I want to blog about but the words are alluding me at the moment. I may have to take a day to rejuvenate my brain a little. Coffee and some breakfast may help the situation. Lol breakfast at 1:26pm is always a good thing.

Hopefully you are having a fantastic Sunday! 

Definitely not all...

You want a good woman or man?

I was goin to talk about oral sex tonight but someone posted this damn post about wanting someone good in their life. Now, I wouldn't have changed my current blog but this individual is always talking about wanting a good person but acts a damn fool in public and private if truth be told. So my question is... How do you expect to get a good person if you're acting a fool all the damn time?

I took this girl on a date to Cheescake Factory. Now if you've been to Cheesecake Factory you know this place isn't the cheapest place on the planet. We get seated and we are ready to order our meal but it was busy and it took the waiter a little longer to take our order. This fuckin moron screams across the restaurant at our waiter. I was so damn embarrassed I wanted to punch her in the mouth! The waiter finally comes over and apologizes, then takes our order. We finish our meal and this ignorant ass ratchet fool belches loud as hell... WTF?!! Are you kiddin me with that shit?!! Where on God's green earth did this broad grow up because in my world she would've been knocked across the room! I'm so mortified at this point! I should've paid the bill and left her ignorant ass sitting there but I didn't. Let someone do that shit now and I'll pay my part of the bill, then I'll leave your ratchet ass sitting there trying to figure out where I went. Needless to say that was the last time we ever went out.

I had a friend whose girl would get drunk and then want to talk shit. This foolish ass girl would put this dude on blast about how he wasn't shit, about how he wasn't goin to amount to anything and then when she couldn't get a rise out of him she'd start talking about his sexual prowess! Now... LMAO whether it was true or not I couldn't care less. It was funny but I didn't laugh at the time. Anyway, she was just ridiculous and ratchet! This guy worked his butt off and gave her everything she wanted but apparently it didn't matter when she was drunk. Needless to say they didn't last much longer.

I could go on and on but I'm... Wait! 

I have one more. So I met this woman and decided to just meet up with her for drinks after work. Now before we met up I asked her a couple questions... 1~ I asked her if she smoked. She said no. 2~  I asked her if she drank. She said not really, just every so often. Within the first 30 minutes she was tellin a story and during that story she says "I was high as hell!" I didn't say anything I just smiled. She back stepped and said "I only do it on occasion." I still didn't say anything I just let her finish her story. We leave the first place and head to grab something to eat at this little bar. We sit down and she gets into it with the damn waitress. The waitress was in the wrong but really it is what it is. She says "I come in here every night after work and I never have a problem ordering drinks." Lie number 2... I didn't say a word I just grinned because I already knew I was never going out with her again. Not only did she lie to me twice but she's acting a damn fool and threatening the little waitress. I'm still not saying a word. After she stopped acting a fool and I took her home, she texts me and asks if her behavior turned me off. Ummm... If you even have to ask this question you probably aren't getting a second chance.

If you keep yelling about how you want someone "good" in your life, how about you act like you deserve someone good in your life. Acting like you have no home training is not going to attract anyone good. Acting like a ratchet, ignorant moronic idiot is not going to get you someone good. Also what in the hell are you lyin for? As my mom says "What the hell are you lying for? You are grown it's not like you're going to get an ass whoopin if you tell the truth!" Stop the LIES people! Maybe if you're upfront and honest, have some morals, self respect and manners you'll meet someone good.

Just food for thought...

That is all

Being called "daddy" and or "Papi"

I don't understand these females that like to be called "daddy" and or "papi". I was called "daddy" once and I almost fell over laughing. I'm not your damn "daddy" I'm your girlfriend, your woman, your partner or whatever you want to call me that's not "daddy" or "papi" or any other male identified name. I don't understand this phenomenon!

I was talkin to this girl one night and she said to me "I want a daddy for my son." I said "You realize I'm a lesbian, right?" She said to me "Yes, I'm a lesbian too, but I need a daddy for my son." *silence and confusion* She says to me during my puzzlement "I want someone who is more manly looking so that my son identifies her as more of a male figure." *still in shock from the ignorance spewing from her mouth* Finally after the shock is starting to wear off I say "I'm no ones daddy! And I'm not goin to allow you or anyone else to call me daddy. As a matter of fact that has to be the most ignorant thing I've ever heard!!!" WTF? If you want a male figure for your son then hunt down a guy friend or an uncle or brother or whomever you choose... A woman is a woman FOOL!!! She will never be a "daddy" or a "papi"!!! I can teach a boy how to play sports or even how to pee. I can even show him how to treat a woman but I will never ever ever be a man! 

I was laying on the couch one night and this girl I was seeing straddled my lap and said to me all sexy "I want you right now papi." She was being or trying to be all sexy and my ignorant ass almost knocked her off the couch from laughing so damn hard. Needless to say that relationship lasted about 5 more minutes. She was so pissed! She told me she thinks it's sexy and that I need to grow up. I told her "I'm not your damn papi! I didn't give birth to you nor did I have any part in the conception so don't call me papi!" Of course I was still LMAO!!! And she grabbed her stuff and left... Oh well, life definitely goes on.

When I see posts on pages that I like on FB and the femme is like " My daddi holds it down for me..." or " My studsband..." I have to double check and reread the sentence again to make sure I'm reading that crap correctly... YOUR WHAT?!!  Really?!! I can't even wrap my head around those comments. I know it's a preference and your choice but it makes me wonder if you are trying to disconnect from being a woman. Yes you may be dating a more feminine woman and you may be more masculine looking or masculine identified but you're still a woman. When you take your clothes off you do not have any extra dangly things goin on unless you bought it, so why the disconnect from your female identity? 

I correct people all the time when they call me "sir" because the last time I checked I wasn't a "sir". Yes I have short hair and I wear guy clothes because that's what I'm comfortable wearing. Doesn't mean I want to be a "sir". Besides how the hell does one call me "sir" and I have a nice rack?!! I love being a woman, best gender ever in life, minus that period thing... I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am not anyone's "daddy" or "papi", I am a woman who happens to love women... 

That is all

Date someone with kids

Kari asked me the other day if I'd date a woman with kids, if she died of course. Smh... She's killin herself off before we even start good. Lol anyway, I told her I would. Well today I had to rethink that answer.

 I was at Walmart and I watched this little monster throw himself on the floor after his mother told him no. Of course I had to slow my walk to see what this woman was going to do. She starts negotiating with this kid. Ummm... Oh hell no!!! I wish I would've throw a fit in the store. My mom would've negotiated a damn belt, or whatever she got her hands on, to my ass. There wouldn't have been any negotiating with Karen. 

Today as I'm running freight out I hear this teenage boy cuss at his mother while the father just stood there. *mouth hanging open* I slow down just to hear what was about to happen. I'm thinkin at least the dad will say something. NOPE! The mom just said "We aren't getting that right now." Ummm... Oh hell no!!! I wish I would've cussed at my mom, I'd still be pickin myself and my teeth up off the floor! Are you kidding me with this crap?!! Karen wasn't playin that shit... Hell there are days when I accidentally let words fly and she's like "I know you were upset but..." Yes I'm still scared of the crazy lady... Lol!

The girl that said she needed a "daddy" for her son told me her 5yr old son "deserved" any and everything he wanted. *blank stare* He's 5yrs old how does he deserve any and everything he wants? Does this dude have a job? Is he paying bills? I'm confused. What has he done to deserve everything and anything he wants? I asked her "Does he have a roof over his head, food in his stomach and clothes on his back?" Her reply "Yea." So I asked her "Then I'm confused. What is it that makes you think he deserves everything and anything?" She said "Because he does and he shouldn't have to want for anything." In my head I'm like "whoa!" Then she tells me this kid is bad. I wonder why. Could it be that you give him every and anything? He doesn't earn anything, he's bad as hell in school and he doesn't listen to this girl because at 5yrs old this little boy feels entitled. It doesn't matter what he does or how he acts he's going to get whatever he wants. Would I date this fool? HELL NO!!! For 3 reasons... 1- she wanted a "daddy" for her son (see blog "being called daddy or papi"), 2- I refuse to reward bad behavior and 3- I refuse to buy any kid any and everything they want. What the hell do I look like First National Bank? I don't even get any and everything that I want and I work my ass off.

I know not all kids are little monsters of diabolical death but more often than not kids now a days are disrespectful little devil spawn. These days kids are getting anything they want and don't have to earn it. They don't know the meaning of "earn". We are bringing up "entitled" children. There's so much stuff that we didn't have as kids but we still figured out how to have fun and if we wanted something we figured out how to earn money to get it. In my household you better have earned the money to get what you wanted because if Karen found out you stole something... OMG... Life as we knew it would've been over!!!

My mom was hard on us but I think we are better people for it. None of us have prestigious careers but we all earn a decent living and we have manners. I digress! So, Kari to answer your question again... I will never date another woman with kids. Unless the kids are grown as hell and out of the house living on their own raising their own little terrors of entitlement! 

That is all... 

Kari stop askin me crazy ass death questions

Geeps saggin'

So I'm havin a conversation with my geeps and I'm telling him how I have holes in my pants...

Me: I blew out my pants so I need new jeans.

Geep: You need to lose weight. Haha

Me: Really geeps? Glad you think you're funny. I'm on a weight loss mission. Besides my pants are too big.

Geeps: *still chuckling* Well then why are you blowing out your pants?

Me: Because if I don't remember to pull my pants up before I bend over then they blow. I can't get my belt tight enough to keep my pants up so I sag like you.

Geeps: I don't sag! 

Me: *blank stare* lmao are you serious right now?!! You're sagging right now.

Geeps: I'm not saggin... I don't sag!

Lmao you be the judge...

Boss

I was thinkin about the guys I work with and it amuses me to be called "boss" or "chief". Even though I am the "boss" I don't feel like I'm the "boss". In my mind my job is to direct, train, learn and be the buffer between my guys and my boss. I feel like I work "with" my guys... They don't work "for" me. I lose my mind every so often when they aren't doin what I expect but that's very far and few in between. I don't micro-manage because I feel I shouldn't have to if people know what I expect. I think I've written 2 people up in my entire life because I hate paperwork and there's ways to get someone who is unproductive to quit. You know like make them productive. Lol

I had a kid I called "Minion", and yes before the movie came out, this kid was absolutely ridiculously lazy. He told me one night that he would talk to me so he wouldn't have to do as much work. For two weeks straight I made this kid work his ass off! If you've ever been to Home Depot to buy mulch, dirt, rock or pavers you know that it's a pretty decent sized garden area. I made this kid condense every paver pallet and every rock pallet, literally every pallet, for two weeks straight. I thought he'd quit but that kid hung in there and became one of the best workers I've ever had. I went on vacation and when I came back they said he didn't miss a beat, he had that place looking amazing every night. The sad part is when I switched positions and he was no longer my "Minion" he slid because he had no one telling him what they expected.

I've worked with some amazing guys over the years and the crew I have now is no exception. They have busted their asses when I needed and have had my back 100% of the time. In turn I stick up for them even when I know they are wrong and I treat them with respect, even when I'm losing my mind it's all about the love lol. I've blasted individuals for calling themselves trying to "flex" on my guys... You know the "I'm a supervisor and you will do what I say" type of people. Ummm... "Hell no they won't do what you say because I'm pretty sure if they're doing something then I've asked them to do it so you might... Let me rephrase you better come ask me first before you start "flexing" on my guys." I got some flack about the way I handled the "flexer" but it is what it is.

I have taken my share of criticism about my management style. For instance when I lose my mind I'll be like, "Are you fuckin kiddin me with that shit right now?!!" Yes it may be a little harsh but sometimes people can't understand the words that are coming out of my mouth when I'm nice... Lmao. Basically if I'm being nice and you don't do what I ask, then suck it up buttercup, when I start losing my mind. I've also been criticized about being "buddy buddy" with my crew. *shrugs* Possibly but if you are with people more than you're family then they pretty much become family. I had a kid who would text me in the middle of the night just to chat about every day life. I didn't mind I was awake anyhow and he needed someone to chat with who would be honest. He text me one night after a couple weeks of what I called "self pitying bullshit". He talked awhile and I finally asked him if he wanted my honest opinion. His mistake or maybe his savior was asking my honest opinion. I gave him my "honest" opinion and for about 30 minutes I unloaded on this kid. The next few weeks I saw a change and I was glad to see it because he's a good kid and deserves to give himself a chance. Yes he's suffering consequences right now but at least he's on the right track. Am I a part in that change? Of course he had to do it because he wanted to but my listening to his venting and my honesty I hope helped push him in the right direction.

I have worked in an all male dominated field my whole adult life and to earn the respect from guys is like pulling teeth. It can be down right brutal. Some days I just wanted to give up but I'm too damn stubborn for that loser crap! I remember being in Peoria, Il and pulling a pallet of pizzas taller than myself up a ramp that was ridiculously steep while 3 big ass guys watched me. I did this for a week by myself because I'll be damned if I ask someone for help when it's obvious that I might have needed help. The second week the same 3 guys finally asked if I'd like some help, with a smile on my face I answered "No thanks I got it." After that they would always speak and automatically help without asking me if I needed help.

I find managing guys and having them call me "boss" or "chief", as silly as it may sound, is a sort of right of passage. I feel like I've done my job... I've earned my stripes so to speak. I feel like I've done everything I was supposed to do to make a comfortable, cohesive, tolerable place to work. It may be hell some days but they always know that I appreciate everything that they do on a daily basis. I'm not blowing smoke when I tell them that I appreciate everything they have done. They know I mean it because I don't reward bad behavior and I don't compliment when it's not warranted.

I hope at the end of the day that I have given all I can give and hopefully I have been a positive influence on their work experience because they have been on mine. I have learned a lot and will take what I have learned with me to my next position. Next Friday will be a really hard day for me... That's the day I have to let go of my guys and allow someone else to hopefully add positive energy to an already amazing crew. I also hope that person will learn as much from them as I have...

Closing a chapter to begin another... Much love 2109 FFT 

When is it appropriate

I have a question for those couples that have been together for what is, or may seem like, an eternity. When is an appropriate time for bodily functions to happen in front of your partner? Do you fart, belch, leave the bathroom door open when you use it, etc? I don't think I've ever been the first to do any "gross" stuff in front of my partner. However, in this case I do believe I shall be the first and as sick as it may seem I am sooooo looking forward to it... LMFAO!!! 

I was on the phone with Kari tonight, this morning, whatever it was, late or early... I digress. Anyhow, I made a comment about having to let her go because I needed to strip clothes and possibly poop. LMAO... Holy shit I almost pissed myself laughing at her response. Like I assaulted her better senses with just mentioning the word poop! She gets so grossed out about hearing it I can't wait until she's subjected to the real experience. I asked one day if she ever "Dutch ovened" herself by accident or if she had ever had it done to her. She didn't even know what the hell "Dutch oven" meant... SHE HAS BROTHERS!!! How does one have brothers and not know what a "Dutch oven" is? I'm appalled! And so was she when I explained what a "Dutch oven" meant. **LMAO OMG my ribs hurt from laughing at her right now**

I asked her what happens if she has to fart while I'm in the room and she can't make it out. Is she going to try and hold it until she explodes? I'd love to see what happens if she can't make it out of the room. The horror on her face right before she blows the seat out of her pants with her power fart. HOLY SHIT I think I just pissed myself laughing at the image! She's probably, no let me correct that, she's hating me right about now!!! Lmao but I don't care that's some funny shit!!!

What's really going to suck in the worst way EVER is that I will not have to do any "gross" things in her presence and she will have belched and farted in front of me many times before our 11 days of bliss is over. She will be mortified and I will be extremely disappointed. Murphy's law at work... Oh well I'll have a lifetime to torture her with my bodily "gross"ness... Prepare yourself Pook, it's coming!

***Stay tuned we go on vacation in 12 days... I'll keep you posted***

I got this

In the time that I have been on this earth I have figured out a few things. I have figured out that people can be ratchet and scandalous. I have figured out that some people can't stand to see others happy. They will spend an exorbitant amount of time trying to destroy happiness instead of trying to find their own happiness. What I haven't figured out is why. I have theories but that would take too much energy to sort through. I don't have time for that... I'd rather spend my time enjoying life. Well unless sorting it out caused me amusement... Lol.

I have figured out a few other things along the way... Such as how to court, how to be emotionally available for my partner, how not to play games, how to communicate my feelings (still a work in progress on this one), how to do the little things to keep my partner and many more things of the relationship nature. I figured out that I want a healthy and happy relationship so I need a partner who is willing and emotionally able to give as much as myself. And I do believe I found that person in Kari Marie Anderson! For those who haven't figured it out maybe you need to do some soul searching yourself... Stop trying to subliminally destroy someone else's happiness because your life is miserable. Find your happiness!

What I'm trying to say is that I GOT THIS!!! I promise you I will do the things to keep my home a happy and healthy one...

More to come I'm sure

Football

So let me explain how much I love football. Hmm...There are no words!!! I hate that we can't have two seasons in a year. I watch other sports such as basketball, which has become a damn joke and as much as I like baseball the season is too damn long. No other sport compares to football season and all the shit talkin you see on FB. That may be the best part of the season really... Especially those friggin Bears, Vikings and Greenbay fans. Y'all are hilarious! 

I was asked what seemed at the time the funniest question ever, wait it still is the funniest question, "What would you like your partner to do during football games?" My response, which has to be the most inappropriate response ever, but it was the first thing I thought so it came flying out of my mouth. What was my response you ask? My response was "I'd like for my partner to shut the hell up during football games!" Lmao... As inappropriate as the response may be I couldn't help myself. Of course I did some serious back peddling in my head before the response even finished spewing out of my mouth... "But of course babe you can watch with me and you can talk as much as you want." Lol... Get real we both know I won't be listening to anything she has to say until a commercial comes on.

It is too long between football seasons and I'm hating every minute! This years football season will suck so bad because I'll be starting my new job and  being the "rookie" in a new job means I'll probably be working a lot of Sundays and closing a lot of Mondays. I will cry but it'll all be worth it... That's what I keep telling myself anyway. I'll be doin a lot of dvr'ing and staying off FB so I don't get spoilers... That is the life of being the "rookie" during football season. Smh... It's all good.

That is all

Ungrateful

If someone decides to pay for something how does the recipient of the gift bitch and complain? How do you get an attitude when you are not coming out of pocket not a damn dime!!!

Let me explain a couple things:

1~ If I tell you I'm paying for something then it will get taken care of. If whatever I said I was going to pay for happens to go up in price that is no way shape or form your problem! I will still get it because my word means more than most!

2~ If you are not paying for said item then shut up! I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth especially if it's speaking nonsense. If you are letting me know where I can get the item cheaper then I am more than happy to listen to you. However, if you are spewing nothing but attitude out of your mouth then don't speak!!!

I am not about to have someone giving me attitude when they are coming out of pocket ZERO dollars. I said I will handle it and I will... But bet your ass it'll never ever happen again because I'm not about to listen to attitude about what I am paying for ever again!!!

Definitely not all...

Geeps my shower nazi

So I get home last night and I was chatting with my geeps about him cleaning the floors and whatever else we were chatting about. I asked him if he wanted eggrolls. I told him it would take me about 14 minutes so I could jump in the shower really quick...

Geeps~ "Didn't you take a shower before you went to work?"

Me- "Yep but I need another shower."

Geeps~ "Well why do you need another shower?"

Me- *confused look* "Umm... Because I was sweating."

Geeps~ "What were you sweating for?"

Me- *laughing* "What? Are you the shower nazi again?"

Geeps~ "Just don't know why you need another shower." *serious as hell*

Me- *still laughing* "I know it's hard to believe but I do work hard and sweat Mr. Shower Nazi."

(5 minutes and crazy conversation later)

Geeps~ "Ok go take your shower." *As he's laughing*

Me- *smh* 

Lol like my taking a shower more than once a day is going to cause droughts around the world and end civilization as we know it! Apparently I'm supposed to take a shower once a week and that's on Saturday... Lmao gotta love my geeps!

Conflict

Kari and I were chatting Sunday about her church experience. She had to give a speech about conflict in her church. I was proud that she gave a speech about conflict because she avoids it like the plague. What I find really amusing is that she's dating someone who will embrace conflict when it arises. Not that I go looking for it but I definitely am not going to run from it. She's dating someone who's motto has become "fuck what people think", not all people of course. I do value some opinions but for the most part I really don't give a rats what people have to say. Most people can't even get their shit together yet they are the first and the quickest to open their mouth and spew out so much BS they're going to choke on it. Making you wish you had worn wading boots because the shit is getting so thick it's messing up your expressive shoes.

I'm proud of her because when we first met she would sooner cross the street and wrestle a pitbull than face the possibility that someone would be upset about what she would have to say. Now she is speaking eloquently about conflict and teaching me that there are better ways to express telling someone to "fuck themselves" than to actually say those exact words. Lol I love the F-bomb by the way... LOVE IT!!! Inappropriate as it may be at times it is effective 😜 and necessary in certain situations! She is making me understand that patience and understanding is necessary in certain situations. I am really really not a patient person... Lol I know that shocks people! On the flip side she is starting to understand that as much as being patient is great, at some point you have to speak loudly so you are being heard over the BS that people choose to keep spewing.

Kari was so adorable when she called and said her speech went well. I was so proud of her because it isn't easy to stand up in front of a group of your peers let alone a church congregation and discuss conflict, especially when you grow up in a church family. You are taught to "put on airs" as I call it... You never have problems and everything is always perfect in your life. Don't you go to church to avoid conflict? I have learned over the last couple months that even churches have its share of conflict. Who would've thunk it?!!

We all love when things run smoothly and everyone is on the same page. However, this is the real world and not everyone has the same outlook on every situation. Thank god cause my life would be boring. I love to debate, it keeps me on my toes and hopefully I learn something in the process. Conflict can help people like Kari realize that sometimes it's necessary in order to grow. It also can help people like me learn to be patient, that not every conflict can be resolved by having a "fuck you" mentality.

That is all...

When we were younger

Who in the hell is "slender man"? I asked this the other day and got no reply. Ok I do know it's an online game but what's the point or purpose? 2 preteen girls decided to kill their preteen friend to prove "slender man" was real and they'd be able to go to his castle or some shit like that. These 2 morons stabbed their friend 19 times.

Now I don't know about you but I'm still trying to process this info. When we were younger we watched some violent cartoons. Anvils, pianos, cars etc were dropped on peoples heads and yet we knew not to drop heavy objects on our friends. We watched wrestling and yes we did the moves but we knew not to snap the neck of the buddy we were wrestling around with.  We did daredevil stunts but we knew if our dumbass jumped off a building it would probably not end well.

My point is what happened to common sense? Are we as adults not teaching these kids that there are consequences to every action? And why are the parents trying to justify why their bad ass kid did what they did? "Oh my little Susie got ahold of the password to the computer and it's the game makers fault. She's really a good kid." No you are raising devil spawn or not teaching common sense because even if little Susie watches the most violent shows she should in no way shape or form plot to kill another human being to prove an online figure is real!!!

Remember "faces of death"? How many of you watched that show and decided it would be fun to toss your friend in an alligator pit to see what it would look like in real life? Or go skydiving into a power line just to see if you'd actually fry to death? Hmmm... I'm waiting! Yea because your parents taught you common sense and if you lived with my crazy ass mom you knew you wouldn't live long enough for the police to put you in jail. Lol

Yes we did stupid things and didn't get caught. We made some ignorant mistakes because that's what you're supposed to do when you are growing up but at some point I think the parents need to stop making excuses and start teaching their kids about common sense. Excuses get people killed... Common sense keeps me from having to make blogs like this one about little devil spawn.

That is all... Probably not but it sounded good in my head

Taking my posts serious

Lol ok yes I make some crazy posts. And yes I say some off the wall things that strike a chord with some people. But let me ask you this... I know most of the people on my FB page but how many people on my page can say I'm in their life or I know what they did yesterday? Not too many. I think it's cool that I can keep up with people and watch their kids grow up and torture them like they tortured their parents (Adam Brown and Katia Taylor had one of the cutest little boys ever). Lol karma fools karma! Hence the reason I don't have kids I thought that karma thing thru. I can see buddy's no one thought would amount to anything become teachers, ceo's, coaches, you name it. I see people meet the love of their life, get engaged (Ann Marriott) or married (Mrs. Alicia Stallings) and I think there is actually hope for me even at 41. 

Yes I make some comments you may not agree with that's just life and I like to debate so it's all good. I may make comments you may take to heart but why? I honestly don't know your situation I'm speaking from my own experiences. I work in retail and my life is full of people who do the most ignorant things in the world. You know like breath! When I moved to Omaha I met some of the most worthless entitled individuals I have ever known. They make me look at my paycheck every 2 weeks and want to go over to their house and punch them in the face. Why you ask because 1/3 of my damn check is gone before I see it and most of its taxes to support their entitled ass! So I may post something about lazy ass people. 

So the next time I go off the deep end think to yourself "she doesn't know my situation nor is she in my life." And if you still take what I say to heart then maybe just maybe you need to do some self reflection. What is it that I said, a near stranger, that set you off to the point of making ridiculous comments on my post? Just a thought...

Why do people pass over your posts

So you're wondering why people are not commenting or liking your posts on fb? First off why do you give a shit? If you felt the need to write it and you thought it was funny or thought provoking then that is enough. However, there are those who need the validation that the likes and comments provide. 

For those who need that validation lets peruse your FB posts... Are your posts always a Debbie Downer? Example: "If I died tomorrow what is the one thing you'd remember me for?" My ignorant ass would pass that post up because if you know me well enough you'd know I'd say something like, "If you died tomorrow I wouldn't have to read your sad ass downer posts any longer!" But since I like you I'd pass that post up for the sake of our friendship.

Are you that person that posts what you have done minute by minute of every day? Example: "Got up late."... "Ate some toast."... "Took a shower before work."... "The boss pissed me off. Said I'd be fired if I was late one more time."... "Got to my desk and my pen was missing." ARE YOU GETTING THE POINT? We don't give a rats! My ignorant ass would pass up those posts because if you know me well enough I'd say something like, "Will you please get laid already?!!! We don't care foooo!!!" But since I like you I'd pass those posts up for the sake of our friendship.

Last but definitely not least... Are you that person that posts about the love of your life every hour when everyone knows your relationship is in trouble? Example: You just told me not 2 hours ago that your girlfriend just moved out and y'all were taking a break for awhile. I check FB an hour later and I read this... "Me and my baby are so in love! We are discussing getting married in the fall of next year. She is the love of my life and I can't see myself with anyone but her. Love you bae!" My ignorant ass is thinking in my head..."Didn't this fool just tell me her and her girl were taking a break and her girl was moving out not more than 2 hours ago?" I really really wanna comment what's running through my head but for the sake of our friendship and your embarrassment I just keep it moving!!!

So before you make that next post wanting to get the validation from your friends think to yourself "Is this post goin to be one that my friends will like and comment good things or is this going to be a post that my ignorant ass friends will pass over for the sake of our friendship?"

That is all...

Women do not want you to be honest

So I listen to all my female friends and I laugh every time they say "I just want someone to be honest with me!" I laugh because you're full of shit. Now I have a unique perspective on this subject because I am a lesbian who likes more feminine women so I see both sides of the arguement. I get that guys will actually lie to you but I also get why. 

"Why" you ask because you don't really want to hear the truth about everything!!! You could just wake up from a nap, you're about to breathe fire because your breath is so horrible, your hair is everywhere, makeup is smeared... You basically look like a cartoon character and you ask the 2 most insane questions... 

1~ "Babe how do I look?"

2~ "Babe I need a hug. Will you hug and kiss me?"

Ummm... We want to say "Fuck no you look like the crypt keeper of fire breath I will not kiss you at this moment in time!!!"

But what we actually say with a slight grimace on our face and fear in our hearts is... "Sweetheart you will always be beautiful to me." Then we kiss your fire breath while we want to vomit!!! Lmao

Ladies you can not have it both ways... We have to be able to be honest all the time or just expect to be lied to it is the way of the world! Now don't get me wrong you shouldn't be lied to about serious business things but if you want honesty then be prepared to have your feelings hurt or ego bruised from time to time.

That is all... Maybe LMAO!!!

Customer service

Customer service has been drilled into my head for the last 6 years at the depot. The more I go to places or call places I realize how much I refuse to give shitty customer service. People answering the phone rude as hell just sets me off so they'll get the "bitch Jay" instantly! And to actually need help in a store... If I ask and the person points I wanna just break their damn finger off. And don't get me started on waitstaff who think you won't tip so you get shitty service... Don't assume someone won't tip by their appearance because I tip very damn well! 

As a consumer don't take your damn frustrations out on the person trying to help you. We understand you are frustrated but we also won't give you good service if you come at us with attitude. All you're goin to get is attitude in return and then you're goin to go off half cocked complaining about the service when you're the cause of the horrible service you were provided! Think about that for a moment next time you start flapping off about the most horrible service.

I have more on this topic at a later date trust me...

Unproductive individuals

So I'm laying here... Brain on overdrive... Thinking about unproductive people. It irritates me when someone who is unproductive is quick to call someone lazy. *blank stare* How do you have the audacity to call someone lazy when you do absolutely nothing all day? Oh wait... Is it because the person didn't do your job? Let's take a look at the situation...

If you walk around all day with a clipboard in your hand and look up at the ceiling all day does that make you productive? If you are helping or calling yourself helping, because standing there talking to someone while they work isn't really helping now is it, does that make you productive? Delegating your whole work list because you were "busy" all day isn't really being productive. As a matter of fact it makes you sound like an even bigger moron when you call someone else lazy! 

Do not fool yourself into thinking that if you look busy people will think you're busy. People can see who actually is doing the work. It may take a moment but it always comes to the light. So instead of goin to work to only socialize how about lift a finger to actually be productive once in awhile instead of walking around pretending to look like you're being productive?!!

That is all... Maybe

LDR = Long Distant Relationships

I've been seeing all these posts about LDRs and how they aren't working because the two fools involved think they can have an LDR like they would a relationship where you live in the same vicinity. The only way they communicate is thru text... You know as well as I do that you can't take text at face value. You lose emotions when you text and the communication shuts down.

I never thought an LDR could work because... 

1~ I am not a trusting person 

2~ I don't necessarily need to see the person everyday but I want to be able to be "close" if the mood hits.

3~ Did I mention I'm not a TRUSTING person?!!!

On top of those reasons the women who wanted to have an LDR only wanted to text. They didn't want to FaceTime, Skype or whatever nor did they want to chat on the phone which I found shady! However, when I did decide that an LDR would work for me, I knew I had to trust the person. Let me help you fools out that think you want or can be in an LDR...

1~ Learn how to have meaningful conversations

2~ Learn how to ask questions that pertain to what your wants and needs are in a relationship

3~ You have to be able to FaceTime, Skype or whatever the hell you do to see someone on a monitor of some sort

4~ Stop thinking your ignorant ass can have a relationship thru text. It will NEVER EVER EVER WORK EVER!!!

5~ At some point someone is going to have to move so have that conversation as early as possible.

Those are only a few things that make an LDR work but it's a start. If you can not deal with or handle the 5 suggestions above then stick with the women you are presently dealing with because you will not be able to handle an LDR.

That is all!

"She gets me"

You ever try to put your feelings about someone into words and the words just don't come? You rack your brain tryin to describe the feelings that the person invokes in you and no words seem deep enough or effective enough to describe how the person makes you feel? That's where I am at right now. I've been trying to find eloquent words to describe my feelings and the only words that come to mind are "she gets me". 

"She gets me" has bounced around in my head for the last 24hrs and it dawned on me that those words are the only words that have mattered over the last year. I have waited for someone who "gets me". Someone who gets my competitive nature, someone who gets the way I deal with stress, someone who gets I'm goin to obsess over insane things, someone who gets how I show affection (I am far from traditional). Someone who gets who I am and doesn't try to change how I am but embraces and cares for me even more because of my uniqueness.

"She gets me"... Simple words can be so eloquent when the meaning behind them are so strong and revealing. I hope you have the opportunity to find that person that "gets you" because it is one of the most intense feelings ever!