When is it appropriate

I have a question for those couples that have been together for what is, or may seem like, an eternity. When is an appropriate time for bodily functions to happen in front of your partner? Do you fart, belch, leave the bathroom door open when you use it, etc? I don't think I've ever been the first to do any "gross" stuff in front of my partner. However, in this case I do believe I shall be the first and as sick as it may seem I am sooooo looking forward to it... LMFAO!!! 

I was on the phone with Kari tonight, this morning, whatever it was, late or early... I digress. Anyhow, I made a comment about having to let her go because I needed to strip clothes and possibly poop. LMAO... Holy shit I almost pissed myself laughing at her response. Like I assaulted her better senses with just mentioning the word poop! She gets so grossed out about hearing it I can't wait until she's subjected to the real experience. I asked one day if she ever "Dutch ovened" herself by accident or if she had ever had it done to her. She didn't even know what the hell "Dutch oven" meant... SHE HAS BROTHERS!!! How does one have brothers and not know what a "Dutch oven" is? I'm appalled! And so was she when I explained what a "Dutch oven" meant. **LMAO OMG my ribs hurt from laughing at her right now**

I asked her what happens if she has to fart while I'm in the room and she can't make it out. Is she going to try and hold it until she explodes? I'd love to see what happens if she can't make it out of the room. The horror on her face right before she blows the seat out of her pants with her power fart. HOLY SHIT I think I just pissed myself laughing at the image! She's probably, no let me correct that, she's hating me right about now!!! Lmao but I don't care that's some funny shit!!!

What's really going to suck in the worst way EVER is that I will not have to do any "gross" things in her presence and she will have belched and farted in front of me many times before our 11 days of bliss is over. She will be mortified and I will be extremely disappointed. Murphy's law at work... Oh well I'll have a lifetime to torture her with my bodily "gross"ness... Prepare yourself Pook, it's coming!

***Stay tuned we go on vacation in 12 days... I'll keep you posted***